- 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

GIFT  OF 

R.   Lee   Chamberlain 


9, 


# 


£-1. 


N  M'H 

^   ^>  li^i 


JOHN 

PLOUGHMAN'S 
PICTURES 


CHARLES   H.    SPURGEON. 


CHARLES    SPURGF.ON 


JOHN 

PLOUGHMAN'S 
PICTURES 


CHARLES 

H. 
SPURGCON 


Copyrighted,  1896,  by  HENRY  ALTKMUS. 


LOAN  STACK 


GIFT 

HHNRY  ALTBMUS,  MANUFACTURER, 

PHli.AUEi.PHlA. 


PREFACE. 

JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  TALK"  has 
not  only  obtained  an  immense  circu- 
lation, but  it  has  exercised  an  influence 
for  good.  Although  its  tone  is  rather  moral 
than  religious,  it  has  led  many  to  take  the 
first  steps  by  which  men  climb  to  better 
things,  and  this  fact  has  moved  me  to  at- 
tempt a  second  book  of  the  same  character. 
I  have  continued  to  use  the  simplest  form 
of  our  mother  tongue,  so  that  if  any  read- 
ers must  need  have  refined  language  they 
had  better  leave  these  pages  before  they  are 
quite  disgusted.  To  smite  evil — and  espe- 
cially the  monster  evil  of  drink — has  been 
my  earnest  endeavor,  and  assuredly  there 
is  need.  It  may  be  that  the  vice  of  drunk- 
enness is  not  more  common  than  it  used  to 
be ;  but  it  is  sufficiently  rampant  to  cause 
sorrow  in  every  Christian  bosom,  and  to 
lead  all  lovers  of  their  race  to  lift  up  their 
voices  against  it.  I  hope  that  the  plain 
speech  of  JOHN  PLOUGHMAN  will  help  in 
that  direction. 

It  is  quite  out  of  the  question  for  the 
compiler  of  such  proverbial  talk  as  this  to 
acknowledge  the  sources  from  which  the 

(3) 

f.     597 


4  PREFACE. 

quaint  sayings  have  been  derived,  for  they 
are  too  numerous.  I  have  gathered  ex- 
pressions and  verses  here,  there,  and  every- 
where ;  and  perhaps  the  most  simple  way  is 
to  deny  all  claim  to  originality,  and  confess 
myself  a  gatherer  of  other  men's  stuffs.  It 
is  not  quite  so,  but  that  is  near  enough.  I 
have,  however,  borrowed  many  rhymes 
from  "  Thomas  Tusser's  Points  of  Good 
Husbandry,"  a  book  which  is  out  of  date, 
and  forgotten,  and  never  likely  to  be  re- 
printed. 

I  have  somewhat  indulged  the  mirthful 
vein,  but  ever  with  so  serious  a  purpose 
that  I  ask  no  forgiveness.  Those  who  see 
a  virtue  in  dulness  have  full  permission  to 
condemn,  for  a  sufficient  number  will 
approve. 

May  the  kindness  shown  to  the  formei 
volume  be  extended  to  this  also. 

C  H,  SPURGEON. 


CONTENTS. 

PACK. 

If  the  cap  fits,  wear  it 7 

Burn  a  candle  at  both  ends,  and  it  will  soon  be 

gone 12 

Hunchback  sees  not  his  own  hump,  but  he  sees  his 

neighbor's  .  .  . 19 

It  is  hard  for  an  empty  sack  to  stand  upright  ...  23 

He  who  would  please  all  will  lose  his  donkey  .  .  32 

All  are  not  hunters  that  blow  the  horn 38 

A  handsaw  is  a  good  thing,  but  not  to  shave  with  .  43 

Don't  cut  off  your  nose  to  spite  your  face  ....  50 
He  has  a  hole  under  his  nose,  and  his  money  runs 

into  it  .  .  *  . 54 

Every  man  should  sweep  before  his  own  door  .  .  63 
Scant  feeding  of  man  or  horse  is  small  profit  and 

sure  loss 67 

Never  stop  the  plough  to  catch  a  mouse  ....  75 

A  looking-glass  is  of  no  use  to  a  blind  man  ...  79 

He  has  got  the  fiddle,  but  not  the  stick  ....  86 
Great  cry  and  little  wool,  as  the  man  said  who 

clipped  the  sow 89 

You  may  bend  the  sapling,  but  not  the  tree  ...  94 
A  man  may  love  his  house,  though  he  ride  not  on 

the  ridge 99 

Great  drinkers  think  themselves  great  men  .  .  .  107 

(5) 


6  CONTENTS. 

PAGE. 

Two  dogs  fight  for  a  bone,  and  a  third  runs  away 

with  it 115 

He  lives  under  the  sign  of  the  cat's  foot     .     .     .     .118 
He  would  put  his  finger  in  the  pie,  so  he  burnt  his 

nail  off 125 

You  can't  catch  the  wind  in  a  net 130 

Beware  of  the  dog 136 

Like  cat  like  kit 147 

A  horse  which  carries  a  halter  is  soon  caught  .     .     .  153 

An  old  fox  is  shy  of  a  trap 157 

A  black  hen  lays  a  white  egg 161 

He  looks  one  way  and  pulls  the  other 164 

Stick  to  it  and  do  it 167 

Don't  put  the  cart  before  the  horse 178 

A  leaking  tap  is  a  great  waster 184 

Fools  set  stools  for  wise  men  to  stumble  over      .     .  192 
A  man  in  a  passion  rides  a  horse  that  runs  away 

with  him 195 

Where  the  plough  does  not  go,  the  weeds  will  grow  199 
All  is  lost  that  is  poured  into  a  cracked  dish   .     .     .  203 

Grasp  all  and  lose  all 207 

Scatter  and  increase 209 

Every  bird  likes  its  own  nest 213 


JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 


IF  THE  CAP  FITS,  WEAR  IT. 


FRIENDLY  READERS, 

Last  time  I  made   a   book  I  trod  on 
some  people's  corns  and  bunions,  and  they 

(7) 


8        JOHN  PL  O  UGHMAN''  S  PICTURES. 

wrote  me  angry  letters,  asking,  "  Did  you 
mean  me  ?  "  This  time,  to  save  them  the 
expense  of  a  halfpenny  card,  I  will  begin  my 
book  by  saying — 

Whether  I  please  or  whether  I  tease, 

I'll  give  you  my  honest  mind ; 
If  the  cap  should  fit,  pray  wear  it  a  bit, 

If  not,  you  can  leave  it  behind. 

No  offence  is  meant;  but  if  anything  in 
these  pages  should  come  home  to  a  man, 
let  him  not  send  it  next  door,  but  get  a 
coop  for  his  own  chickens.  What  is  the 
use  of  reading  or  hearing  for  other  people? 
We  do  not  eat  and  drink  for  them  :  why 
should  we  lend  them  our  ears  and  not  our 
mouths  ?  Please  then,  good  friend,  if  you 
find  a  hoe  on  these  premises,  weed  your 
own  garden  with  it. 

I  was  speaking  with  Will  Shepherd  the 
other  day  about  our  master's  old  donkey, 
and  I  said,  "  He  is  so  old  and  stubborn,  he 
really  is  not  worth  his  keep."  "  No,"  said 
Will,  "  and  worse  still,  he  is  so  vicious, 
that  I  feel  sure  he'll  do  somebody  a  mis- 
chief one  of  these  days."  You  know  they 
say  that  walls  have  ears ;  we  were  talking 
rather  loud,  but  we  did  not  know  that 


IF  THE   CAP  FITS,    WEAR  IT.  9 

there  were  ears  to  haystacks.  We  stared, 
I  tell  you,  when  we  saw  Joe  Scroggs  come 
from  behind  the  stack,  looking  as  red  as  a 
turkey-cock,  and  raving  like  mad.  He 
burst  out  swearing  at  Will  and  me,  like  a 
cat  spitting  at  a  dog.  His  monkey  was  up 
and  no  mistake.  He'd  let  us  know  that  he 
was  as  good  a  man  as  either  of  us,  or  the 
two  put  together,  for  the  matter  of  that. 
Talking  about  him  in  that  way  ;  he'd  do — 
I  don't  know  what.  I  told  old  Joe  we  had 
never  thought  of  him,  nor  said  a  word  about 
him,  and  he  might  just  as  well  save  his 
breath  to  cool  his  porridge,  for  nobody 
meant  him  any  harm.  This  only  made  him 
call  me  a  liar,  and  roar  the  louder.  My 
friend,  Will,  was  walking  away,  holding  his 
sides,  but  when  he  saw  that  Scroggs  was 
still  in  a  fume,  he  laughed  outright,  and 
turned  round  on  him  and  said,  "  Why,  Joe, 
we  were  talking  about  master's  old  donkey, 
and  not  about  you ;  but,  upon  my  word,  I 
shall  never  see  that  donkey  again  without 
thinking  of  Joe  Scroggs."  Joe  puffed  and 
blowed,  but  perhaps  he  thought  it  an  awk- 
ward job,  for  he  backed  out  of  it,  and  Will 
and  I  went  off  to  our  work  in  rather  a  merry 


io      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

cue,  for  old  Joe  had  blundered  on  the  truth 
about  himself  for  once  in  his  life. 

The  aforesaid  Will  Shepherd  has  some- 
times come  down  rather  heavy  upon  me  in 
his  remarks,  but  it  has  done  me  good.  It 
is  partly  through  his  home  thrusts  that  I 
have  come  to  write  this  new  book,  for  he 
thought  I  was  idle ;  perhaps  I  am,  and  per- 
haps I  am  not.  Will  forgets  that  I  have 
other  fish  to  fry  and  tails  to  butter ;  and  he 
does  not  recollect  that  a  ploughman's  mind 
wants  to  lie  fallow  a  little,  and  can't  give  a 
crop  every  year.  It  is  hard  to  make  rope 
when  your  hemp  is  all  used  up,  or  pancakes 
without  batter,  or  rook  pie  without  the  birds  ; 
and  so  I  found  it  hard  to  write  more  when  I 
had  said  just  about  all  I  knew.  Giving 
much  to  the  poor  doth  increase  a  man's 
store,  but  it  is  not  the  same  with  writing ; 
at  least,  I  am  such  a  poor  scribe  that  I 
don't  find  it  come  because  I  pull.  If  your 
thoughts  only  flow  by  drops,  you  can't  pour 
them  out  in  bucketfuls. 

However,  Will  has  ferreted  me  out,  and 
I  am  obliged  to  him  so  far.  I  told  him  the 
other  day,  what  the  winkle  said  to  the  pin : 
"  Thank  you  for  drawing  me  out,  but  you 


IF  THE   CAP  FITS,    WEAR  IT.  11 

are  rather  sharp  about  it."  Still,  Master 
Will  is  not  far  from  the  mark :  after  three 
hundred  thousand  people  had  bought  my 
book  it  certainly  was  time  to  write  another : 
so,  though  I  am  not  a  hatter,  I  will  again 
turn  cap-maker,  and  those  who  have  heads 
may  try  on  my  wares  ;  those  who  have  none 
won't  touch  them. 

So,  friends, 
I  am, 

Yours,  rough  and  ready, 

JOHN  PLOUGHMAN. 


BURN  A   CANDLE  AT  BOTH  ENDS, 
AND  IT  WILL  SOON  BE  GONE. 


WELL  may  he  scratch  his  head  who 
burns  his  candle  at  both  ends ;  but, 
do  what  he  may,  his  light  will  soon  begone, 
and  he  will  be  all  in  the  dark.     Young  Jack 
(12) 


NEVER  BURN  A  CANDLE  AT  BOTH  ENDS.  13 

Careless  squandered  his  property,  and  now 
he  is  without  a  shoe  to  his  foot.  His  was 
a  case  of  "  easy  come,  easy  go  :  soon  gotten, 
soon  spent."  He  that  earns  an  estate  will 
keep  it  better  than  he  that  inherits  it.  As 
the  Scotchman  says,  "  He  that  gets  gear 
before  he  gets  wit  is  but  a  short  time  master 
of  it,"  and  so  it  was  with  Jack.  His  money 
burnt  holes  in  his  pocket.  He  could  not 
get  rid  of  it  fast  enough  himself,  and  so  he 
got  a  pretty  set  to  help  him,  which  they  did 
by  helping  themselves.  His  fortune  went 
like  a  pound  of  meat  in  a  kennel  of  hounds. 
He  was  everybody's  friend,  and  now  he  is 
everybody's  fool. 

He  came  in  to  old  Alderman  Greedy's 
money,  for  he  was  his  nephew ;  but,  as  the 
old  saying  is,  the  fork  followed  the  rake, 
the  spender  was  heir  to  the  hoarder.  God 
has  been  very  merciful  to  some  of  us  in 
never  letting  money  come  rolling  in  upon 
us,  for  most  men  are  carried  off  their  legs  if 
they  meet  with  a  great  wave  of  fortune. 
Many  of  us  would  have  been  bigger  sinners 
if  we  had  been  trusted  with  larger  purses. 
Poor  Jack  had  plenty  of  pence,  but  little 
sense.  Money  is  easier  made  than  made 


I4      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

the  use  of.  What  is  hard  to  gather  is  easy  to 
scatter.  The  old  gentleman  had  lined  his 
nest  well,  but  Jack  made  the  feathers  fly 
like  flakes  of  snow  in  winter-time.  He  got 
rid  of  his  money  by  shovelfuls  and  then  by 
cartloads.  After  spending  the  interest,  he 
began  swallowing  the  capital,  and  so  killed 
the  goose  that  laid  the  golden  eggs.  He 
squandered  his  silver  and  gold,  in  ways 
which  must  never  be  told.  It  would  not  go 
fast  enough,  and  so  he  bought  race-horses  to 
run  away  with  it.  He  got  into  the  hands 
of  blacklegs,  and  fell  into  company  of 
which  we  shall  say  but  little;  only  when 
such  madams  smile,  men's  purses  weep : 
these  are  a  well  without  a  bottom,  and  the 
more  a  fool  throws  in,  the  more  he  may. 
The  greatest  beauty  often  causes  the  great- 
est ruin.  Play,  women,  and  wine  are  enough 
to  make  a  prince  a  pauper. 

Always  taking  out  and  never  putting 
back  soon  empties  the  biggest  sack,  and  so 
Jack  found  it ;  but  he  took  no  notice  till  his 
last  shilling  bade  him  good-bye,  and  then 
he  said  he  had  been  robbed ;  like  silly  Tom 
who  put  his  finger  in  the  fire  and  said  it  was 
his  bad  luck. 


NE  VER  B  URN  A  CANDLE  AT  BO  TH  ENDS.  1 5 

His  money  once  flashed  like  dew  in  the  sun ; 
When  bills  became  due,  of  cash  he  had  none. 

"  Drink  and  let  drink  "  was  his  motto ; 
every  day  was  a  holiday  and  every  holiday 
was  a  feast.  The  best  of  wines  and  the 
dearest  of  dainties  suited  his  tooth,  for  he 
meant  to  lead  a  pig's  life,  which  they  say  is 
short  and  sweet.  Truly,  he  went  the  whole 
hog.  The  old  saying  is,  "  a  glutton  young, 
a  beggar  old,"  and  he  seemed  set  upon  prov- 
ing it  true.  A  fat  kitchen  makes  a  lean 
will  ;  but  he  can  make  his  will  on  his 
finger-nail,  and  leave  room  for  a  dozen  cod- 
icils. In  fact,  he  will  never  want  a  will  at  all, 
for  he  will  leave  nothing  behind  him  but  old 
scores.  Of  all  his  estate  there  is  not  enough 
left  to  bury  him  with.  What  he  threw  away 
in  his  prosperity  would  have  kept  a  coat  on 
his  back  and  a  dumpling  in  his  pot  to  his 
life's  end ;  but  he  never  looked  beyond  his 
nose,  and  could  not  see  to  the  end  of  that. 
He  laughed  at  prudence,  and  now  prudence 
frowns  at  him.  Punishment  is  lame,  but  it 
comes  at  last.  He  pays  the  cost  of  his  folly 
in  body  and  in  soul,  in  purse  and  in  person, 
and  yet  he  is  still  a  fool,  and  would  dance  to 


1 6      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN^  S  PICTURES. 

the  same  tune  again  if  he  had  another  chance. 
His  light  purse  brings  him  a  heavy  heart, 
but  he  couldn't  have  his  cake  and  eat  it  too. 
As  he  that  is  drunk  at  night  is  dry  in  the 
morning,  so  he  that  lavished  money  when  he 
had  it  feels  the  want  of  it  all  the  more  when  it 
is  gone.  His  old  friends  have  quite  dropped 
him  ;  they  have  squeezed  the  orange,  and 
now  they  throw  away  the  peel.  As  well 
look  for  milk  from  a  pigeon  as  help  from  a 
fellow  who  loved  you  for  your  beer.  Pot 
friends  will  let  you  go  to  pot,  and  kick  you 
when  you  are  down. 

Jack  has  worse  wants  than  the  want  of 
money,  for  his  character  is  gone,  and  he  is 
like  a  rotten  nut,  not  worth  the  cracking : 
the  neighbors  say  he  is  a  ne'er-do-well,  not 
worth  calling  out  of  a  cabbage  garden.  No- 
body will  employ  him,  for  he  would  not 
earn  his  salt,  and  so  he  goes  from  pillar  to 
post,  and  has  not  a  place  to  lay  his  head  in. 
A  good  name  is  better  than  a  girdle  of  gold, 
and  when  that  is  gone,  what  has  a  man  left  ? 

What  has  he  left  ?  Nothing  upon  earth  ! 
Yet  the  prodigal  son  has  still  a  Father  in 
heaven.  Let  him  arise  and  go  to  him, 
ragged  as  he  is.  He  may  smell  of  the 


NEVER  BURN  A  CANDLE  AT  BOTH  ENDS.  17 

swine-trough,  and  yet  he  may  run  straight 
home,  and  he  shall  not  find  the  door  locked. 
The  great  Father  will  joyfully  meet  him,  and 
kiss  him,  and  cleanse  him,  and  clothe  him, 
and  give  him  to  begin  a  new  and  better  life. 
When  a  sinner  is  at  his  worst  he  is  not  too 
bad  for  the  Saviour,  if  he  will  but  turn  from 
his  wickedness  and  cry  unto  God  for  mercy. 
It's  a  long  lane  that  has  no  turning,  but  the 
best  of  all  turns  is  to  turn  unto  the  Lord 
with  all  your  heart.  This  the  great  Father 
will  help  the  penitent  prodigal  to  do.  If  the 
candle  has  been  burned  all  away,  the  Sun  in 
the  heavens  is  still  alight.  Look,  poor 
profligate  :  look  to  Jesus,  and  live.  His  sal- 
vation is  without  money  and  without  price. 
Though  you  may  not  have  a  penny  to  bless 
yourself  with,  the  Lord  Jesus  will  bless  you 
freely.  The  depths  of  your  misery  are  not 
so  deep  as  the  depth  of  God's  mercy.  If 
you  are  faithful  and  just  in  confessing  the 
sins  you  would  have  forgiven,  God  will  be 
faithful  and  just  in  forgiving  the  sins  which 
you  confess. 

But,  pray,  do  not  go  on  another  day  as 
you  are,  for  this  very  day  may  be  your  last. 
If  you  will  not  heed  a  plain  word  from  John 


18      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

Ploughman,  which  he  means  for  your  good, 
yet  recollect  this  old-fashioned  rhyme, 
which  was  copied  from  a  grave-stone  : 

"  The  loss  of  gold  is  great, 

The  loss  of  health  is  more, 
But  the  loss  of  Christ  is  such  a  loss 
As  no  man  can  restore." 


HUNCHBACK  SEES  NOT  HIS  OWN 

HUMP,   BUT   HE   SEES   HIS 

NEIGHBOR'S. 


HE  points  at  the  man  in  front  of  him, 
but  he  is  a  good  deal   more  of  a 
guy  himself.     He  should  not  laugh  at  the 

(19) 


20      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

crooked  until  he  is  straight  himself,  and 
not  then.  I  hate  to  hear  a  raven  croak  at 
a  crow  for  being  black.  A  blind  man 
should  not  blame  his  brother  for  squinting, 
and  he  who  has  lost  his  legs  should  not 
sneer  at  the  lame.  Yet  so  it  is,  the  rotten- 
est  bough  cracks  first,  and  he  who  should 
be  the  last  to  speak  is  the  first  to  rail.  Be- 
spattered hogs  bespatter  others,  and  he  who 
is  full  of  fault  finds  fault.  They  are  most 
apt  to  speak  ill  of  others  who  do  most  ill 
themselves. 

"  We're  very  keen  our  neighbor's  hump  to  see, 

We're  blind  to  that  upon  our  back  alone ; 
E'en  though  the  lump  far  greater  be, 
It  still  remains  to  us  unknown." 

It  does  us  much  hurt  to  judge  our  neigh- 
bors, because  it  flatters  our  conceit,  and  our 
pride  grows  quite  fast  enough  without  feed- 
ing. We  accuse  others  to  excuse  ourselves. 
We  are  such  fools  as  to  dream  that  we  are 
better  because  others  are  worse,  and  we 
talk  as  if  we  could  get  up  by  pulling  others 
down.  What  is  the  good  of  spying  holes 
in  people's  coats  when  we  can't  mend 
them?  Talk  of  my  debts  if  you  mean  to 
pay  them ;  if  not,  keep  your  red  rag  be- 


ONE  HUNCHBA  CK  LA  UGHS  A  T  A  NO  THER.  2 1 

hind  your  ivory  ridge.  A  friend's  faults 
should  not  be  advertised,  and  even  a 
stranger's  should  not  be  published.  He 
who  brays  at  an  ass  is  an  ass  himself, 
and  he  who  makes  a  fool  of  another  is  a 
fool  himself.  Don't  get  into  the  habit  of 
laughing  at  people,  for  the  old  saying  is, 
"  Hanging's  stretching  and  mocking's 
catching." 

Some  must  have  their  joke  whoever  they  poke ; 
For  the  sake  of  fun  mischief  is  done, 
And  to  air  their  wit  full  many  they  hit. 

Jesting  is  too  apt  to  turn  into  jeering,  and 
what  was  meant  to  tickle  makes  a  wound. 
It  is  a  pity  when  my  mirth  is  another  man's 
misery.  Before  a  man  cracks  a  joke  he 
should  consider  how  he  would  like  it  him- 
self, for  many  who  give  rough  blows  have 
very  thin  skins.  Give  only  what  you 
would  be  willing  to  take :  some  men 
throw  salt  on  others,  but  they  smart  if  a 
pinch  of  it  falls  on  their  own  raw  places. 
When  they  get  a  Roland  for  their  Oliver, 
or  a  tit  for  their  tat,  they  don't  like  it ;  yet 
nothing  is  more  just.  Biters  deserve  to  be 
bitten. 


22      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

We  may  chide  a  friend,  and  so  prove  our 
friendship,  but  it  must  be  done  very  dain- 
tily, or  we  may  lose  our  friend  for  our 
pains.  Before  we  rebuke  another  we  must 
consider,  and  take  heed  that  we  are  not  guilty 
of  the  same  thing,  for  he  who  cleanses  a 
blot  with  inky  fingers  makes  it  worse.  To 
despise  others  is  a  worse  fault  than  any  we 
are  likely  to  see  in  them,  and  to  make 
merry  over  their  weaknesses  shows  our 
own  weakness  and  our  own  malice  too. 
Wit  should  be  a  shield  for  defence,  and  not 
a  sword  for  offence.  A  mocking  word  cuts 
worse  than  a  scythe,  and  the  wound  is 
harder  to  heal.  A  blow  is  much  sooner 
forgotten  than  a  jeer.  Mocking  is  shock- 
ing. Our  minister  says  "  to  laugh  at  in- 
firmity or  deformity  is  an  enormity/'  He 
is  a  man  who  ought  to  know  a  thing  or  twoP 
and  he  puts  a  matter  as  pat  as  butter. 

"  Who  ridicules  his  neighbor's  frailty 
Scoffs  at  his  own  in  more  or  less  degree  : 
Much  wiser  he  who  others'  lets  alone, 
And  tries  his  hardest  to  correct  his  own." 


IT  IS  HARD  FOR  AN  EMPTY  SACK 
TO  STAND  UPRIGHT. 


SAM  may  try  a  fine  while  before  he  will 
make  one  of  his  empty  sacks  stand 
upright.     If  he  were  not  half  daft  he  would 
have  left  off  that  job   before  he  began  it, 

(23) 


24      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

and  not  have  been  an  Irishman  either.  He 
will  come  to  his  wit's  end  before  he  sets  the 
sack  on  its  end.  The  old  proverb,  printed 
at  the  top,  was  made  by  a  man  who  had 
burnt  his  fingers  with  debtors,  and  it  just 
means  that  when  folks  have  no  money  and 
are  over  head  and  ears  in  debt,  as  often  as 
not  they  leave  off  being  upright,  and  tum- 
ble over  one  way  or  another.  He  that  has 
but  four  and  spends  five  will  soon  need  no 
purse,  but  he  will  most  likely  begin  to  use 
his  wits  to  keep  himself  afloat,  and  take  to 
all  sorts  of  dodges  to  manage  it. 

Nine  times  out  of  ten  they  begin  by  mak- 
ing promises  to  pay  on  a  certain  day  when 
it  is  certain  they  have  nothing  to  pay  with. 
They  are  as  bold  at  fixing  the  time  as  if 
they  had  my  lord's  income :  the  day  comes 
round  as  sure  as  Christmas,  and  then  they 
haven't  a  penny-piece  in  the  world,  and  so 
they  make  all  sorts  of  excuses  and  begin  to 
promise  again.  Those  who  are  quick  to 
promise  are  generally  slow  to  perform. 
They  promise  mountains  and  perform  mole- 
hills. He  who  gives  you  fair  words  and 
nothing  more  feeds  you  with  an  empty 
spoon,  and  hungry  creditors  soon  grow 


EMPTY  SACKS.  25 

tired  of  that  game.  Promises  don't  fill  the 
belly.  Promising  men  are  not  great  favor- 
ites if  they  are  not  performing  men.  When 
such  a  fellow  is  called  a  liar  he  thinks  he  is 
hardly  done  by ;  and  yet  he  is  so,  as  sure 
as  eggs  are  eggs,  and  there's  no  denying  it, 
as  the  boy  said  when  the  gardener  caught 
him  up  the  cherry-tree.  People  don't  think 
much  of  a  man's  piety  when  his  promises 
are  like  pie-crust,  made  to  be  broken  :  they 
generally  turn  crusty  themselves  and  give 
him  a  bit  of  their  mind.  Like  old  Tusser, 
who  said  of  such  an  one : 

"  His  promise  to  trust  to  is  slippery  as  ice, 
His  credit  much  like  to  the  chance  of  the  dice." 

Creditors  have  better  memories  than  debt- 
ors, and  when  they  have  been  taken  in 
more  than  once  they  think  it  is  time  that 
the  fox  went  to  the  furrier,  and  they  had 
their  share  of  his  skin.  Waiting  for  your 
money  does  not  sweeten  a  man's  temper, 
and  a  few  lies  on  the  top  of  it  turn  the  milk 
of  human  kindness  into  sour  stuff.  Here  is 
an  old-fashioned  saying  which  a  bad  payer 
may  put  in  his  pipe,  and  smoke  or  not,  as 
he  likes : 


26      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

"  He  that  promiseth  till  no  man  will  trust  him, 
He  that  lieth  till  no  man  will  believe  him, 
He  that  borroweth  till  no  man  will  lend  him, 
Let  him  go  where  no  man  knoweth  him." 

Hungry  dogs  will  eat  dirty  puddings,  and 
people  who  are  hard  up  very  often  do  dirty 
actions.  Blessed  be  God,  there  is  some 
cloth  still  made  which  will  not  shrink  in 
the  wetting,  and  some  honesty  which  holds 
on  under  misfortune ;  but  too  often  debt  is 
the  worst  kind  of  poverty,  because  it  breeds 
deceit.  Men  do  not  like  to  face  their  cir- 
cumstances, and  so  they  turn  their  backs  on 
the  truth.  They  try  all  sorts  of  schemes  to 
get  out  of  their  difficulties,  and  like  the 
Banbury  tinker,  they  make  three  holes  in 
the  saucepan  to  mend  one.  They  are  like 
Pedley,  who  burnt  a  penny  candle  in  look- 
ing for  a  farthing.  They  borrow  of  Peter 
to  pay  Paul,  and  then  Peter  is  let  in  for 
it.  To  avoid  a  brook  they  leap  into  a 
river,  for  they  borrow  at  ruinous  interest 
to  pay  off  those  who  squeeze  them  tight 
By  ordering  goods  which  they  cannot  pay 
for,  and  selling  them  for  whatever  they  can 
get,  they  may  put  off  one  evil  day,  but 
they  only  bring  on  another.  One  trick 


EMPTY  SACKS.  77 

needs  another  trick  to  back  it  up,  and  thus 
they  go  on  over  shoes  and  then  over  boots. 
Hoping  that  something  will  turn  up,  they 
go  on  raking  for  the  moon  in  a  ditch,  and 
all  the  luck  that  comes  to  them  is  like 
Johnny  Toy's,  who  lost  a  shilling  and 
found  a  two-penny  loaf.  Any  short  cut 
tempts  them  out  of  the  high  road  of  honesty, 
and  they  find  after  awhile  that  they  have 
gone  miles  out  of  their  way.  At  last 
people  fight  shy  of  them,  and  say  that  they 
are  as  honest  as  a  cat  when  the  meat  is  out 
of  reach,  and  they  murmur  that  plain  deal- 
ing is  dead,  and  died  without  issue.  Who 
wonders  ?  People  who  are  bitten  once  are 
in  no  hurry  to  put  their  fingers  into  the 
same  mouth  again.  You  don't  trust  a 
horse's  heel  after  it  has  kicked  you,  nor 
lean  on  a  staff  which  has  once  broken. 
Too  much  cunning  overdoes  its  work,  and 
in  the  long  run  there  is  no  craft  which  is  so 
wise  as  simple  honesty. 

I  would  not  be  hard  on  a  poor  fellow, 
nor  pour  water  on  a  drowned  mouse :  if 
through  misfortune  the  man  can't  pay,  why 
he  can't  pay,  and  let  him  say  so,  and  do  the 
honest  thing  with  what  little  he  has,  and 


28      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

kind  hearts  will  feel  for  him.  A  wise  man 
does  at  first  what  a  fool  does  at  last.  The 
worst  of  it  is,  that  debtors  will  hold  on  long 
after  it  is  honest  to  do  so,  and  they  try  to 
persuade  themselves  that  their  ship  will 
come  home,  or  their  cats  will  grow  into 
cows.  It  is  hard  to  sail  over  the  sea  in  an 
egg-shell,  and  it  is  not  much  easier  to  pay 
your  way  when  your  capital  is  all  gone. 
Out  of  nothing  comes  nothing,  and  you 
may  turn  your  nothing  over  a  long  time  be- 
fore it  will  grow  into  a  ten-pound  note.  The 
way  to  Babylon  will  never  bring  you  to 
Jerusalem,  and  borrowing,  and  diving  deep- 
er into  debt,  will  never  get  a  man  out  of 
difficulties. 

The  world  is  a  ladder  for  some  to  go  up 
and  some  to  go  down,  but  there  is  no  need 
to  lose  your  character  because  you  lose 
your  money.  Some  people  jump  out  of  the 
frying-pan  into  the  fire;  for  fear  of  being 
paupers  they  become  rogues.  You  find 
them  slippery  customers ;  you  can't  bind 
them  to  anything :  you  think  you  have  got 
them,  but  you  can't  hold  them  any  longer 
than  you  can  keep  a  cat  in  a  wheelbarrow. 
The  can  jump  over  nine  hedges,  and  nine 


EMPTY  SACKS.  29 

more  after  that.  They  always  deceive  you, 
and  then  plead  the  badness  of  the  times,  or 
the  sickness  of  their  family.  You  cannot  help 
them,  for  there's  no  telling  where  they  are. 
It  is  always  best  to  let  them  come  to  the 
end  of  their  tether,  for  when  they  are 
cleaned  out  of  their  old  rubbish  they  may 
perhaps  begin  in  a  better  fashion.  You  can- 
not get  out  of  a  sack  what  is  not  in  it,  and 
when  a  man's  purse  is  as  bare  as  the  back 
of  your  hand,  the  longer  you  patch  him  up 
the  barer  he  will  become,  like  Bill  Bones, 
who  cut  up  his  coat  to  patch  his  waistcoat, 
and  then  used  his  trousers  to  mend  his  coat, 
and  at  last  had  to  lie  in  bed  for  want  of  a 
rag  to  cover  him. 

Let  the  poor,  unfortunate  tradesman  hold 
to  his  honesty  as  he  would  to  his  life.  The 
straight  road  is  the  shortest  cut.  Better 
break  stones  on  the  road  than  break  the  law 
of  God.  Faith  in  God  should  save  a  Christ- 
ian man  from  anything  like  a  dirty  action ; 
let  him  not  even  think  of  playing  a  trick, 
for  you  cannot  touch  pitch  without  being 
defiled  therewith.  Christ  and  a  crust  is 
riches,  but  a  broken  character  is  the  worst 
of  bankruptcy.  All  is  not  lost  while  up- 


30      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

Tightness  remains ;    but  still  it  is  hard  to 
make  an  empty  sack  stand  upright. 

There  are  other  ways  of  using  the  old 
saying.  It  is  hard  for  a  hypocrite  to  keep 
up  his  profession.  Empty  sacks  can't  stand 
upright  in  a  church  any  better  than  in  a 
granary.  Prating  does  not  make  saints, 
or  there  would  be  plenty  of  them.  Some 
talkatives  have  not  religion  enough  to 
flavor  soup  for  a  sick  grasshopper,  and 
they  have  to  be  mighty  cunning  to  keep 
the  game  going.  Long  prayers  and  loud 
professions  only  deceive  the  simple,  and 
those  who  see  further  than  the  surface  soon 
spy  out  the  wolf  under  the  sheepskin. 

All  hope  of  salvation  by  our  own  good 
works  is  a  foolish  attempt  to  make  an  empty 
sack  stand  upright.  We  are  undeserving, 
ill-deserving,  hell-deserving  sinners  at  the 
best.  The  law  of  God  must  be  kept 
without  a  single  failure  if  we  hope  to  be 
accepted  by  it ;  but  there  is  not  one  among 
us  who  has  lived  a  day  without  sin.  No, 
we  are  a  lot  of  empty  sacks,  and  unless  the 
merits  of  Christ  are  put  into  us  to  fill  us  up, 
we  cannot  stand  in  the  sight  of  God.  The 


EMPTY  SACKS.  31 

law  condemns  us  already,  and  to  hope  for 
salvation  by  it  is  to  run  to  the  gallows  to 
prolong  our  lives.  There  is  a  full  Christ 
for  empty  sinners,  but  those  who  hope  to 
fill  themselves  will  find  their  hopes  fail  them. 


HE  WHO  WOULD  PLEASE  ALL 

WILL  LOSE  HIS  DONKEY  AND  BE 

LAUGHED  AT  FOR  HIS  PAINS. 


HERE'S  a  queer  picture,  and  this  is  the 
story  which  goes  with  it ;  you  shall 
have  it  just  as  I  found  it  in  an  old  book. 
(32) 


THE    OLD  MAN  AND  HIS  DONKEY.  33 

"  An  old  man  and  his  young  son  were  driv- 
ing an  ass  before  them  to  the  next  market 
to  sell.  '  Why  have  you  no  more  wit/  says 
one  to  the  man  upon  the  way,  '  than  you 
and  your  son  to  trudge  it  a-foot,  and  let  the 
ass  go  light  ?  '  So  the  old  man  set  his  son 
upon  the  ass,  and  footed  it  himself.  *  Why, 
sirrah/  says  another  after  this,  to  the  boy, 
'  ye  lazy  rogue,  you,  must  you  ride,  and  let 
your  old  father  go  a-foot  ? '  The  old  man 
upon  this  took  down  his  son,  and  got  up  him- 
self. *  Do  you  see/  says  a  third,  '  how  the 
lazy  old  knave  rides  himself,  and  the  poor 
young  fellow  has  much  ado  to  creep  after 
him  ? '  The  father,  upon  this,  took  up  his 
son  behind  him.  The  next  they  met  asked 
the  old  man  whether  the  ass  were  his  own 
or  no  ?  He  said,  '  Yes/  '  Troth,  there's 
little  sign  on't/  says  the  other,  'by  your 
loading  him  thus/  '  Well/  says  the  old  man 
to  himself,  '  and  what  am  I  to  do  now  ?  for 
I'm  laughed  at,  if  either  the  ass  be  empty, 
or  if  one  of  us  rides,  or  both;'  and  so  he 
came  to  the  conclusion  to  bind  the  ass's 
legs  together  with  a  cord,  and  they  tried  to 
carry  him  to  market  with  a  pole  upon  their 
shoulders,  betwixt  them.  This  was  sport  to 
3 


34      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

everybody  that  saw  it,  inasmuch  that  the 
old  man  in  great  wrath  threw  down  the  ass 
into  a  river,  and  so  went  his  way  home 
again.  The  good  man,  in  fine,  was  willing 
to  please  everybody,  but  had  the  ill  fortune 
to  please  nobody,  and  lost  his  ass  into  the 
bargain." 

He  who  will  not  go  to  bed  till  he  pleases 
everbody  will  have  to  sit  up  a  great  many 
nights.  Many  men,  many  minds ;  many 
women,  many  whims  ;  and  so  if  we  please 
one  we  are  sure  to  set  another  grumbling. 
We  had  better  wait  till  they  are  all  of  one 
mind  before  we  mind  them,  or  we  shall  be 
like  the  man  who  hunted  many  hares  at  once 
and  caught  none.  Besides,  the  fancies  of  men 
alter,  and  folly  is  never  long  pleased  with 
the  same  thing,  but  changes  its  palate,  and 
grows  sick  of  what  it  doted  on.  Will  Shep- 
herd says  he  once  tried  to  serve  two  masters, 
but,  says  he,  "  I  soon  had  enough  of  it,  and 
I  declared  that,  if  I  was  pardoned  this  once, 
the  next  time  they  caught  me  at  it  they 
might  pickle  me  in  salt  and  souse  me  in 
boiling  vinegar." 

"  He  who  would  general  favor  win 
And  not  himself  offend, 


THE   OLD  MAN  AND  HIS  DONKEY.    $5 

To-day  the  task  he  may  begin, 
He'll  never,  never  end." 

If  we  dance  to  every  fiddle  we  shall  soon  be 
lame  in  both  legs.  Good  nature  may  be  a 
great  misfortune  if  we  do  not  mix  prudence 
with  it. 

He  that  all  men  would  please 
Shall  never  find  ease. 

It  is  right  to  be  obliging,  but  we  are  not 
obliged  to  be  every  man's  lackey.  Put 
your  hand  quickly  to  your  hat,  for  that  is 
courtesy ;  but  don't  bow  your  head  at  every 
man's  bidding,  for  that  is  slavery.  He  who 
hopes  to  please  all  should  first  fit  the  moon 
with  a  suit  of  clothes,  or  fill  a  bottomless 
barrel  with  buckets  with  their  hoops  off. 
To  live  upon  the  praises  of  others  is  to  feed 
on  the  air ;  for  what  is  praise  but  the  breath 
of  men's  nostrils?  That's  poor  stuff  to 
make  a  dinner  of.  To  set  traps  for  claps, 
and  to  faint  if  you  don't  get  them,  is  a  child- 
ish thing  ;  and  to  change  your  coat  to  please 
new  company  is  as  mean  as  dirt.  Change 
for  the  better  as  often  as  you  like,  but  mind 
it  is  better  before  you  change.  Tom  of 


36      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

Bedlam  never  did  a  madder  thing  than  he 
who  tried  to  please  a  thousand  masters  at 
once  :  one  is  quite  enough.  If  a  man  pleases 
God  he  may  let  the  world  wag  its  own  way, 
and  frown  or  flatter,  as  the  maggot  bites. 
What  is  there,  after  all,  to  frighten  a  man  in 
a  fool's  grin,  or  in  the  frown  of  a  poor 
mortal  like  yourself?  If  it  mattered  at  all 
what  the  world  says  of  us,  it  would  be  some 
comfort  that  when  a  good  man  is  buried 
people  say,  "  He  was  not  a  bad  fellow  after 
all."  When  the  cow  is  dead  we  hear  how 
much  milk  she  gave.  When  the  man's  gone 
to  heaven  folks  know  their  loss,  and  wonder 
how  it  was  they  did  not  treat  him  better. 

The  way  of  pleasing  men  is  hard,  but 
blessed  are  they  who  please  God.  He  is 
not  a  free  man  who  is  afraid  to  think  for  him- 
self, for  if  his  thoughts  are  in  bonds  the 
man  is  not  free.  A  man  of  God  is  a  manly 
man.  A  true  man  does  what  he  thinks  to 
be  right,  whether  the  pigs  grunt  or  the  dogs 
howl.  Are  you  afraid  to  follow  out  your 
conscience  because  Tom,  Jack,  and  Harry, 
or  Mary  Ann  and  Betsy,  would  laugh  at 
you  ?  Then  you  are  not  the  seventy-fifth 
cousin  to  John  Ploughman,  who  goes  on 


THE    OLD  MAN  AND  HIS  DONKEY.   37 

his  way  whistling  merrily,  though  many 
find  fault  with  himself,  and  his  plough,  and 
his  horses,  and  his  harness,  and  his  boots, 
and  his  coat,  and  his  waistcoat,  and  his  hat, 
and  his  head,  and  every  hair  on  it.  John 
says  it  amuses  them  and  doesn't  hurt  him  ; 
but  depend  on  it  you  will  never  catch  John 
or  his  boys  carrying  the  donkey. 


ALL  ARE  NOT  HUNTERS  THAT 
BLOW  THE  HORN. 


HE  does  not  look  much  like  a  hunter ! 
Nimrod     would    never    own    him. 
But  how   he  blows!     Goodness,  gracious, 
what  a  row!  as  the  linnet  said  when  he 
(38) 


A  HORN-BL  O  WER,  BUT  NOT  A  HUNTER.  39 

heard  a  donkey  singing  his  evening  hymn. 
There's  more  goes  to  ploughing  than  know- 
ing how  to  whistle,  and  hunting  is  not  all 
tally-ho  and  horn-blowing.  Appearances 
are  deceitful.  Outward  show  is  not  every- 
thing. All  are  not  butchers  that  carry  a 
steel,  and  all  are  not  bishops  that  wear 
aprons.  You  must  not  buy  goods  by  the 
label;  for  I  have  heard  that  the  finer  the 
trade-mark  the  worse  the  article.  Never 
have  we  seen  more  horn  or  less  hunter  than 
in  our  picture.  Blow  away,  my  hearty,  till 
your  toes  look  out  of  your  boots ;  there's 
no  fear  of  your  killing  either  fox  or  stag ! 

Now,  the  more  people  blow,  the  more 
they  may,  but  he  is  a  fool  who  believes  all 
they  say.  As  a  rule,  the  smallest  boy  car- 
ries the  biggest  fiddle,  and  he  who  makes 
most  boast  has  least  roast.  He  who  has 
least  wisdom  has  most  vanity.  John  Lack- 
land is  wonderfully  fond  of  being  called 
Esquire,  and  there's  none  so  pleased  at  be- 
ing dubbed  a  doctor  as  the  man  who  least 
deserves  it.  Many  a  D.D.  is  fiddle-dee-dee. 
I  have  heard  say,  "  Always  talk  big  and 
somebody  will  think  you  great,"  but  my 
old  friend  Will  Shepherd  says,  "  Save  your 


40     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

wind  for  running  up  a  hill,  and  don't  give 
us  big  words  off  a  weak  stomach.  Look," 
said  he  once  to  me,  "There's  Solomon 
Braggs  holding  up  his  head  like  a  hen 
drinking  water,  but  there's  nothing  in  it. 
With  him  it's  much  din  and  little  done." 

"  Of  all  speculations  the  market  holds  forth, 
The  best  that  I  know  for  a  lover  of  pelf, 
Were  to  buy  up  this  Braggs  at  the  price  he  is  worth, 
And  sell  him — at  that  which  he  sets  on  himself." 

Before  honor  is  humility,  but  a  prating 
fool  shall  fall,  and  when  he  falls  very  few 
will  be  in  a  hurry  to  pick  him  up. 

A  long  tongue  generally  goes  with  a 
short  hand.  We  are  most  of  us  better  at 
saying  than  doing.  We  can  all  tattle  away 
from  the  battle,  but  many  fly  when  the  fight 
is  nigh.  Some  are  all  sound  and  ^ry,  and 
when  they  have  bragged  their  b*ag  all  is 
over,  and  amen.  The  fat  Dutchman  was 
the  wisest  pilot  in  Flushing,  only  he  never 
went  to  sea;  and  the  Irishman  was  the 
finest  rider  in  Connaught,  only  he  would 
never  trust  himself  on  a  horse,  because,  as 
he  said,  "  he  generally  fell  off  before  he  got 
on."  A  bachelor's  wife  is  always  well 
managed,  and  old  maids  always  bring  up 


A  HORN-BLOWER,  BUT  NO  TA  HUNTER.  41 

their  children  in  prime  style.  We  think  we 
can  do  what  we  are  not  called  to,  and  if 
by  chance  the  thing  falls  to  our  lot  we  do 
worse  than  those  we  blamed.  Hence  it  is 
wise  to  be  slow  in  foretelling  what  we  will 
do,  for — 

"  Thus  saith  the  proverb  of  the  wise, 
«  Who  boasteth  least  tells  fewest  lies.'  " 

There  is  another  old  rhyme  which  is  as  full 
of  reason  as  a  pod  is  full  of  peas, — 

"  Little  money  is  soonest  spended ; 
Fewest  words  are  soonest  mended." 

Of  course,  every  potter  praises  his  own 
pot,  and  we  can  all  toot  a  little  on  our  own 
trumpet,  but  some  blow  as  if  nobody  ever 
had  a  horn  but  themselves.  "After  me  the 
flood,"  says  the  mighty  big  man,  and 
whether  it  be  so  or  no  we  have  floods 
enough  while  he  lives.  I  mean  floods  of 
words,  words,  words,  enough  to  drown  all 
your  senses.  O  that  the  man  had  a  mouth 
big  enough  to  say  all  he  has  to  say  at  one 
go,  and  have  done  with  it ;  but  then  one 
had  need  get  to  the  other  end  of  the  world 
till  his  talk  had  run  itself  dry.  O  for  a 
quiet  hay-loft,  or  a  saw-pit,  or  a  dungeon, 


42      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

where  the  sound  of  the  jawbone  would  no 
more  be  heard.  They  say  a  brain  is  worth 
little  if  you  have  not  a  tongue ;  but  what  is 
a  tongue  worth  without  a  brain  ?  Bellow- 
ing is  all  very  well,  but  the  cow  for  me  is 
that  which  fills  the  pail.  A  braying  ass 
eats  little  hay,  and  that's  a  saving  in  fodder ; 
but  a  barking  dog  catches  no  game,  and 
that's  a  loss  to  the  owner.  Noise  is  no 
profit,  and  talk  hinders  work. 

When  a  man's  song  is  in  his  praise,  let 
the  hymn  be  short  metre,  and  let  the  tune 
be  in  the  minor  key.  He  who  talks  for  ever 
about  himself  has  a  foolish  subject,  and  is 
likely  to  worry  and  weary  all  around  him. 
Good  wine  needs  no  bush,  and  a  man  who 
can  do  well  seldom  boasts  about  it.  The 
emptiest  tub  makes  the  loudest  noise. 
Those  who  give  themselves  out  to  be  fine 
shots  kill  very  few  birds,  and  many  a  crack 
ploughman  does  a  shorter  day's  work  than 
plain  John,  though  he  is  nothing  off  the 
common ;  and  so  on  the  whole  it  is  pretty 
clear  that  the  best  huntsmen  are  not  those 
who  are  for  everlastingly  blowing  the  horn. 


A  HANDSAW   IS   A   GOOD   THING, 
BUT  NOT  TO  SHAVE  WITH. 


OUR  friend  will  cut  more  than  he  will 
eat,  and  shave  off  something  more 
than  hair,  and  then  he  will  blame  the  saw. 
His  brains  don't  lie  in  his  beard,  nor  yet  in 

(43) 


44      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

the  skull  above  it,  or  he  would  see  that  his 
saw  will  only  make  sores.  There's  sense 
in  choosing  your  tools,  for  a  pig's  tail  will 
never  make  a  good  arrow,  nor  will  his  ear 
make  a  silk  purse.  You  can't  catch  rabbits 
with  drums,  nor  pigeons  with  plums.  A 
good  thing  is  not  good  out  of  its  place.  It 
is  much  the  same  with  lads  and  girls ;  you 
can't  put  all  boys  to  one  trade,  nor  send 
all  girls  to  the  same  service.  One  chap  will 
make  a  London  clerk,  and  another  will  do 
better  to  plough,  and  sow,  and  reap,  and 
mow,  and  be  a  farmer's  boy.  It's  no  use 
forcing  them ;  a  snail  will  never  run  a  race, 
nor  a  mouse  drive  a  wagon. 

"  Send  a  boy  to  the  well  against  his  will, 
The  pitcher  will  break  and  the  water  spill.'* 

With  unwilling  hounds  it  is  hard  to  hunt 
hares.  To  go  against  nature  and  inclina- 
tion is  to  row  against  wind  and  tide.  They 
say  you  may  praise  a  fool  till  you  make  him 
useful :  I  don't  know  so  much  about  that, 
but  I  do  know  that  if  I  get  a  bad  knife 
I  generally  cut  my  finger,  and  a  blunt  axe 
is  more  trouble  than  profit.  No,  let  me 
shave  with  a  razor  if  I  shave  at  all,  and 


DON'T  SHAVE    WITH  A  HANDSAW.    45 

do  my  work  with  the  best  tools  I  can 
get. 

Never  set  a  man  to  work  he  is  not  fit  for, 
for  he  will  never  do  it  well.  They  say  that 
if  pigs  fly  they  always  go  with  their  tails 
forward,  and  awkward  workmen  are  much 
the  same.  Nobody  expects  cows  to  catch 
crows,  or  hens  to  wear  hats.  There's  reason 
in  roasting  eggs,  and  there  should  be  reason 
in  choosing  servants.  Don't  put  a  round 
peg  into  a  square  hole,  nor  wind  up  your 
watch  with  a  cork-screw,  nor  set  a  tender- 
hearted man  to  whip  wife-beaters,  nor  a 
bear  to  be  a  relieving-officer,  nor  a  publican 
to  judge  of  the  licensing  laws.  Get  the 
right  man  in  the  right  place,  and  then  all 
goes  as  smooth  as  skates  on  ice ;  but  the 
wrong  man  puts  all  awry,  as  the  sow  did 
when  she  folded  the  linen. 

It  is  a  temptation  to  many  to  trust  them 
with  money ;  don't  put  them  to  take  care 
of  it  if  you  ever  wish  to  see  it  again.  Never 
set  a  cat  to  watch  cream,  nor  a  pig  to  gather 
peaches,  for  if  the  cream  and  the  peaches 
go  a-missing  you  will  have  yourself  to 
thank  for  it.  It  is  a  sin  to  put  people 
where  they  are  likely  to  sin.  If  you  be- 


46      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

lieve  the  old  saying,  that  when  you  set  a 
beggar  on  horseback  he  will  ride  to  the 
devil,  don't  let  him  have  a  horse  of  yours. 

If  you  want  a  thing  well  done  do  it  your- 
self, and  pick  your  tools.  It  is  true  that 
a  man  must  row  with  such  oars  as  he 
has,  but  he  should  not  use  the  boat-hook 
for  a  paddle.  Take  not  the  tongs  to  poke 
the  fire,  nor  the  poker  to  put  on  the  coals. 
A  newspaper  on  Sunday  is  as  much  out 
of  place  as  a  warming-pan  on  the  first 
of  August,  or  a  fan  on  a  snowy  day :  the 
Bible  suits  the  Sabbath  a  deal  better. 

He  who  tries  to  make  money  by  betting 
uses  a  wrong  tool,  and  is  sure  to  cut  his 
fingers.  As  well  hope  to  grow  golden  pip- 
pins on  the  bottom  of  the  sea  as  to  make 
gain  among  gamblers  if  you  are  an  hon- 
est man.  Hard  work  and  thrifty  habits 
are  the  right  razor,  gambling  is  a  hand- 
saw. 

Some  things  want  doing  gently,  and  tell- 
ing a  man  of  his  faults  is  one  of  them.  You 
would  not  fetch  a  hatchet  to  break  open  an 
egg»  nor  kill  a  fly  on  your  boy's  fore- 
head with  a  sledge-hammer,  and  so  you 
must  not  try  to  mend  your  neighbor's 


DON'T  SHAVE    WITH  A   HANDSAW.    47 

little  fault  by  blowing  him  up  sky-high. 
Never  fire  off  a  musket  to  kill  a  midge,  and 
don't  raise  a  hue  and  cry  about  the  half  of 
nothing. 

Do  not  throw  away  a  saw  because  it  is 
not  a  razor,  for  it  will  serve  your  turn 
another  day,  and  cut  your  ham-bone  if  it 
won't  shave  off  your  stubble.  A  whet- 
stone, though  it  cannot  cut,  may  sharpen  a 
knife  that  will.  A  match  gives  little  light 
itself,  but  it  may  light  a  candle  to  brighten 
up  the  room.  Use  each  thing  and  each 
man  according  to  common  sense  and  you 
will  be  uncommonly  sensible.  You  don't 
milk  horses  nor  ride  cows,  and  by  the 
same  rule  you  must  make  of  every  man 
what  he  is  meant  for,  and  the  farm  will  be 
as  right  as  a  trivet. 

Everything  has  its  use,  but  no  one  thing 
is  good  for  all  purposes.  The  baby  said, 
"The  cat  crew  and  the  cock  rocked  the 
cradle,"  but  old  folks  knew  better:  the 
cat  is  the  best  at  mousing  and  the  cock  at 
rousing.  That's  for  that,  as  salt  is  for  her- 
rings, and  sugar  for  gooseberries,  and  Nan 
for  Nicholas.  Don't  choose  your  tools  by 
their  looks,  for  that's  best  which  does  best 


48      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

A  silver  trowel  lays  very  few  bricks.  You 
cannot  curry  a  horse  with  a  tortoise-shell 
comb,  or  fell  oaks  with  a  pen-knife,  or 
open  oysters  with  a  gold  tooth -pick.  Fine 
is  not  so  good  as  fit  when  work  is  to  be 
done.  A  good  workman  will  get  on  pretty 
well  with  a  poor  tool,  and  a  brave  soldier 
never  lacks  a  weapon:  still,  the  best  is 
good  enough  for  me,  and  John  Plough- 
man does  not  care  to  use  a  clumsy  tool 
because  it  looks  pretty.  Better  ride  on  an 
ass  that  carries  you  than  on  a  steed  which 
throws  you;  it  is  far  better  to  work  with 
an  old-fashioned  spade  which  suits  your 
hand  than  with  a  new-fangled  invention  you 
don't  understand. 

In  trying  to  do  good  to  your  fellow-men 
the  gospel  is  out  of  sight  the  best  instru- 
ment to  work  with.  The  new  doctrine  which 
they  call  "modern  thought"  is  nothing  bet- 
ter than  a  handsaw,  and  it  won't  work  a  bit. 
This  fine  new  nothing  of  a  gospel  would  not 
save  a  mouse,  nor  move  the  soul  of  a  tom- 
tit ;  but  the  glorious  gospel  of  Jesus  Christ 
is  suited  to  man's  need,  and  by  God's  grace 
does  its  work  famously.  Let  every  preacher 
and  teacher  keep  to  it,  for  they  will  never 


DON'T  SHAVE    WITH  A   HANDSAW.    49 

find  a  better.  Try  to  win  men  with  its  lov- 
ing words  and  precious  promises,  and  there's 
no  fear  of  labor  in  vain.  Some  praise  the 
balm  of  Gilead,  or  man's  morality;  many 
try  the  Roman  salve,  or  the  oil  of  Baby- 
lon ;  and  others  use  a  cunning  ointment 
mixed  by  learned  philosophers ;  but  for  his 
own  soul's  wounds,  and  for  the  hurts  of 
others,  John  Ploughman  knows  but  one 
cure,  and  that  is  given  gratis  by  the  good 
Physician  to  all  who  ask  for  it.  A  humble 
faith  in  Christ  Jesus  will  soon  bring  you 
this  sovereign  remedy.  Use  no  other,  for 
no  other  is  of  use. 


DONT    CUT   OFF  YOUR  NOSE  TO 
SPITE  YOUR  FACE. 


ANGER  is  a  short  madness.     The  less 
we  do  when  we  go  mad  the  better  for 
everybody,  and   the   less   we   go  mad  the 
better  for  ourselves.     He  is  far  gone  who 
(50) 


DON'T  CUT  OFF   YOUR  NOSE.  51 

hurts  himself  to  wreak  his  vengeance  on 
others.  The  old  saying  is  "  Don't  cut  off 
your  head  because  it  aches,"  and  another 
says  "  Set  not  your  house  on  fire  to  spite 
the  moon."  If  things  go  awry,  it  is  a  poor 
way  of  mending  to  make  them  worse,  as  the 
man  did  who  took  to  drinking  because  he 
could  not  marry  the  girl  he  liked.  He 
must  be  a  fool  who  cuts  off  his  nose  to  spite 
his  face,  and  yet  this  is  what  Dick  did 
when  he  had  vexed  his  old  master,  and  be- 
cause he  was  chid  must  needs  give  up  his 
place,  throw  himself  out  of  work,  and 
starve  his  wife  and  family.  Jane  had  been 
idle,  and  she  knew  it,  but  sooner  than  let 
her  mistress  speak  to  her,  she  gave  warn- 
ing, and  lost  as  good  a  service  as  a  maid 
could  wish  for.  Old  Griggs  was  wrong, 
and  could  not  deny  it,  and  yet  because  the 
parson's  sermon  fitted  him  rather  close,  he 
took  the  sulks  and  vowed  he  would  never 
hear  the  good  man  again.  It  was  his  own 
loss,  but  he  wouldn't  listen  to  reason,  but 
was  as  wilful  as  a  pig. 

Do  nothing  when  you  are  out  of  temper, 
and  then  you  will  have  less  to  undo.  Let 
a  hasty  man's  passion  be  a  warning  to  you  ; 


52      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

if  he  scalds  you,  take  heed  that  you  do  not 
let  your  own  pot  boil  over.  Many  a  man 
has  given  himself  a  box  on  the  ear  in  his 
blind  rage,  ay,  and  ended  his  own  life  out 
of  spite.  He  who  cannot  curb  his  temper 
carries  gunpowder  in  his  bosom,  and  he  is 
neither  safe  for  himself  nor  his  neighbors. 
When  passion  comes  in  at  the  door,  what 
little  sense  there  is  indoors  flies  out  at  the 
window.  By-and-by  a  hasty  man  cools 
and  comes  to  himself,  like  MacGibbon's 
gruel  when  he  put  it  out  of  the  window, 
but  if  his  nose  is  off  in  the  meantime,  who 
is  to  put  it  on  again?  He  will  only  be 
sorry  once  and  that  will  be  all  the  rest  of 
his  life.  Anger  does  a  man  more  hurt  than 
that  which  made  him  angry.  It  opens  his 
mouth  and  shuts  his  eyes,  and  fires  his 
heart,  and  drowns  his  sense,  and  makes  his 
wisdom  folly.  Old  Tompkins  told  me  that 
he  was  sorry  that  he  lost  his  temper,  and 
I  could  not  help  thinking  that  the  pity 
was  that  he  ever  found  it  again,  for  it  was 
like  an  old  shoe  with  the  sole  gone  and  the 
upper  leathers  worn  out,  only  fit  for  a  dung- 
hill. A  hot-tempered  man  would  be  all  the 
better  for  a  new  heart,  and  a  right  spirit. 


DON'T  CUT  OFF   YOUR  NOSE.          53 

Anger  is  a  fire  which  cooks  no  victuals,  and 
comforts  no  household :  it  cuts  and  curses 
and  kills,  and  no  one  knows  what  it  may 
lead  to ;  therefore,  good  reader,  don't  let  it 
lodge  in  your  bosom,  and  if  it  ever  comes 
there,  pass  the  vagrant  on  to  the  next  parish. 

Gently,  gently,  little  pot, 

Why  so  hasty  to  be  hot  ? 

Over  you  will  surely  boil, 

And  I  know  not  what  you'll  spoil. 

The  old  gent  in  our  picture  has  a  fine 
nose  of  his  own,  and  though  he  will  be  a 
fool  to  cut  it  off,  he  would  be  wise  to  cut 
off  the  supplies  which  have  made  it  such  a 
size.  That  glass  and  jug  on  the  table  are 
the  paint-pots  that  he  colors  his  nose  with, 
and  everbody  knows,  whether  he  knows  it 
or  knows  it  not,  that  his  nose  is  the  out- 
ward and  visible  sign  of  a  good  deal  of  in- 
ward and  spirituous  drink,  and  the  sooner  he 
drops  his  drops  the  better.  So  here  we 
will  cut  off,  not  our  nose,  but  the  present 
subject. 


HE  HAS  A  HOLE  UNDER  HIS  NOSE 
AND  HIS  MONEY  RUNS  INTO  IT. 


THIS  is  the  man  who  is  always  dry,  be- 
cause  he  takes  so  much  heavy  wet. 
He  is  a  loose  fellow  who  is  fond  of  getting 
tight.     He  is  no  sooner  up  than  his  nose  is 
(54) 


THE  HOLE  UNDER  THE  NOSE.   55 

in  the  cup,  and  his  money  begins  to  run 
down  the  hole  which  is  just  under  his  nose. 
He  is  not  a  blacksmith,  but  he  has  a  spark 
in  his  throat,  and  all  the  publican's  barrels 
can't  put  it  out.  If  a  pot  of  beer  is  a  yard 
of  land,  he  must  have  swallowed  more 
acres  than  a  ploughman  could  get  over  for 
many  a  day,  and  still  he  goes  on  swallow- 
ing until  he  takes  to  wallowing.  All  goes 
down  Gutter  Lane.  Like  the  snipe,  he 
lives  by  suction.  If  you  ask  him  how  he 
is,  he  says  he  would  be  quite  right  if  he 
could  moisten  his  mouth.  His  purse  is  a 
bottle,  his  bank  is  the  publican's  till,  and  his 
casket  is  a  cask :  pewter  is  his  precious 
metal,  and  his  pearl*  is  a  mixture  of  gin 
and  beer.  The  dew  of  his  youth  comes 
from  Ben  Nevis,  and  the  comfort  of  his 
soul  is  cordial  gin.  He  is  a  walking  barrel, 
a  living  drain-pipe,  a  moving  swill-tub. 
They  say  "  loth  to  drink  and  loth  to  leave 
off,"  but  he  never  needs  persuading  to  begin, 
and  as  to  ending — that  is  out  of  the  ques- 
tion while  he  can  borrow  two-pence.  This 
is  the  gentleman  who  sings — 

*  Purl. 


56      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

He  that  buys  land  buys  many  stones, 
He  that  buys  meat  buys  many  bones, 
He  that  buys  eggs  buys  many  shells, 
He  that  buys  good  ale  buys  nothing  else. 

He  will  never  be  hanged  for  leaving  his 
drink  behind  him.  He  drinks  in  season 
and  out  of  season :  in  summer  because  he 
is  hot,  and  in  winter  because  he  is  cold. 
A  drop  of  beer  never  comes  too  soon,  and 
he  would  get  up  in  the  middle  of  the  night 
for  more,  only  he  goes  to  bed  too  tipsy. 
He  has  heard  that  if  you  get  wet-footed  a 
glass  of  whisky  in  your  boots  will  keep 
you  from  catching  cold,  and  he  argues  that 
the  best  way  to  get  one  glass  of  the  spirit 
into  each  boot  is  to  put  two  doses  where  it 
will  run  into  your  legs.  He  is  never  long 
without  an  excuse  for  another  pot,  or  if  per- 
chance he  does  not  make  one,  another  lush- 
ington  helps  him. 

Some  drink  when  friends  step  in, 
And  some  when  they  step  out ; 
Some  drink  because  they're  thin, 
And  some  because  they're  stout. 

Some  drink  because  'tis  wet, 
And  some  because  'tis  dry ; 
Some  drink  another  glass 
To  wet  the  other  eye. 


THE  HOLE    UNDER    THE  NOSE.       57 

Water  is  this  gentleman's  abhorrence, 
whether  used  inside  or  out,  but  most  of  all 
he  dreads  it  taken  inwardly,  except  with 
spirits,  and  then  the  less  the  better.  He  says 
that  the  pump  would  kill  him,  but  he  never 
gives  it  a  chance.  He  laps  his  liquor,  and 
licks  his  chaps,  but  he  will  never  die  through 
the  badness  of  the  water  from  the  well.  It 
is  a  pity  that  he  does  not  run  the  risk. 
Drinking  cold  water  neither  makes  a  man 
sick,  nor  in  debt,  nor  his  wife  a  widow,  but 
this  mighty  fine  ale  of  his  will  do  all  this 
for  him,  make  him  worse  than  a  beast  while 
he  lives,  and  wash  him  away  to  his  grave 
before  his  time.  The  old  Scotchman  said, 
"  Death  and  drink-draining  are  near  neigh- 
bors," and  he  spoke  the  truth.  They  say 
that  drunkenness  makes  some  men  fools, 
some  beasts,  and  some  devils,  but  according 
to  my  mind  it  makes  all  men  fools  whatever 
else  it  does.  Yet  when  a  man  is  as  drunk 
as  a  rat  he  sets  up  to  be  a  judge,  and  mocks 
at  sober  people.  Certain  neighbors  of  mine 
laugh  at  me  for  being  a  teetotaller,  and  I 
might  well  laugh  at  them  for  being  drunk, 
only  I  feel  more  inclined  to  cry  that  they 
should  be  such  fools.  O  that  we  could  get 


58      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

them  sober,  and  then  perhaps  we  might 
make  men  of  them.  You  cannot  do  much 
with  these  fellows,  unless  you  can  enlist 
them  in  the  Coldstream  guards. 

He  that  any  good  would  win 
At  his  mouth  must  first  begin. 

As  long  as  drink  drowns  conscience  and 
reason,  you  might  as  well  talk  to  the  hogs. 
The  rascals  will  promise  fair  and  take  the 
pledge,  and  then  take  their  coats  to  pledge 
to  get  more  beer.  We  smile  at  a  tipsy  man, 
for  he  is  a  ridiculous  creature,  but  when  we 
see  how  he  is  ruined  body  and  soul  it  is  no 
joking  matter.  How  solemn  is  the  truth 
that  "  No  drunkard  shall  inherit  eternal  life." 
There's  nothing  too  bad  for  a  man  to  say 
or  do  when  he  is  half-seas  over.  It  is  a 
pity  that  any  decent  body  should  go  near 
such  a  common  sewer.  If  he  does  not  fall 
into  the  worst  of  crimes  it  certainly  is  not 
his  fault,  for  he  has  made  himself  ready  for 
anything  the  devil  likes  to  put  into  his  mind. 
He  does  least  hurt  when  he  begins  to  be 
topheavy,  and  to  reel  about:  then  he  be- 
comes a  blind  man  with  good  eyes  in  his 
head,  and  a  cripple  with  legs  on.  He  sees 


THE  HOLE    UNDER    THE  NOSE.          59 

two  moons,  and  two  doors  to  the  public- 
house,  and  tries  to  find  his  way  through 
both  the  doors  at  once.  Over  he  goes,  and 
there  he  must  lie  unless  somebody  will 
wheel  him  home  in  a  barrow  or  carry  him 
to  the  police-station. 

Solomon  says  the  glutton  and  the  drunk- 
ard shall  come  to  poverty,  and  that  the 
drinker  does  in  no  time.  He  gets  more 
and  more  down  at  the  heel,  and  as  his  nose 
gets  redder  and  his  body  is  more  swollen 
he  gets  to  be  more  of  a  shack  and  more  of 
a  shark.  His  trade  is  gone,  and  his  credit 
has  run  out,  but  he  still  manages  to  get  his 
beer.  He  treats  an  old  friend  to  a  pot,  and 
then  finds  that  he  has  left  his  purse  at  home, 
and  of  course  the  old  friend  must  pay  the 
shot.  He  borrows  till  no  one  will  lend  him 
a  groat,  unless  it  is  to  get  off  lending  a 
shilling.  Shame  has  long  since  left  him, 
though  all  who  know  him  are  ashamed  of 
him.  His  talk  runs  like  the  tap,  and  is  full 
of  stale  dregs :  he  is  very  kind  over  his 
beer,  and  swears  he  loves  you,  and  would 
like  to  drink  your  health,  and  love  you 
again.  Poor  sot,  much  good  will  his  bless- 
ing do  to  any  one  who  gets  it;  his  poor 


60     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

wife  and  family  have  had  too  much  of  it 
already,  and  quake  at  the  very  sound  of  his 
voice. 

Now,  if  we  try  to  do  anything  to  shut  up 
a  boozing-house,  or  shorten  the  hours  for 
guzzling,  we  are  called  all  sorts  of  bad 
names,  and  the  wind-up  of  it  all  is — "  What! 
Rob  a  poor  man  of  his  beer  f  "  The  fact  is 
that  they  rob  the  poor  man  by  his  beer. 
The  ale-jug  robs  the  cupboard  and  the  table, 
starves  the  wife  and  strips  the  children ;  it 
is  a  great  thief,  housebreaker,  and  heart- 
breaker,  and  the  best  possible  thing  is  to 
break  it  to  pieces,  or  keep  it  on  the  shelf 
bottom  upwards.  In  a  newspaper  which 
was  lent  me  the  other  day  I  saw  some  verses 
by  John  Barleycorn,  jun.,  and  as  they  tickled 
my  fancy  I  copied  them  out,  and  here  they 
are. 

What !  rob  a  poor  man  of  his  beer, 
And  give  him  good  victuals  instead  ! 

Your  heart's  very  hard,  sir,  I  fear, 
Or  at  least  you  are  soft  in  the  head. 

What !  rob  a  poor  man  of  his  mug, 
And  give  him  a  house  of  his  own ; 

With  kitchen  and  parlor  so  snug ! 

'Tis  enough  to  draw  tears  from  a  stone. 


THE  HOLE    UNDER   THE  NOSE.        6l 

What !  rob  a  poor  man  of  his  glass, 
And  teach  him  to  read  and  to  write ! 

What !  save  him  from  being  an  ass ! 
'Tis  nothing  but  malice  and  spite. 

What !  rob  a  poor  man  of  his  ale, 

And  prevent  him  from  beating  his  wife, 

From  being  locked  up  in  a  jail. 
With  penal  employment  for  life ! 

What !  rob  a  poor  man  of  his  beer, 
And  keep  him  from  starving  his  child ! 

It  makes  one  feel  awfully  queer, 

And  I'll  thank  you  to  draw  it  more  mild. 

Having  given  you  a  song,  I  now  hand 
you  a  handbill  to  stick  up  in  the  "  Rose  and 
Crown  "  window,  if  the  landlord  wants  an 
advertisement.  It  was  written  many  years 
ago,  but  it  is  quite  as  good  as  new.  Any 
beer-seller  may  print  it  who  thinks  it  likely 
to  help  his  trade — 


DRUNKARDS,  READ  THIS! 


DRUNKENNESS 

EXPELS  REASON, 

DISTEMPERS  THE  BODY, 

DIMINISHES  STRENGTH, 

INFLAMES    THE    BLOOD; 

f  INTERNAL  1 

CAUSES  JEXTERNAL   IwOUNDS- 
CAUSESj     ETERNAL     ^WOUNDS, 

[INCURABLE] 

IS 

A  WITCH  TO  THE  SENSES, 

A     DEMON     TO     THE    SOUL, 

A    THIEF    TO    THE    PURSE, 

A  GUIDE  TO  BEGGARY,  LECHERY,  &  VILLAINY. 

IT    IS 

THE  WIFE'S  WOE,  AND 
THE  CHILDREN'S  SORROW. 

MAKES  A   MAN 

WALLOW  WORSE  THAN  A  BEAST,  AND 
ACT  LIKE  A  FOOL. 


HE   IS 

A  SELF-MURDERER; 
WHO  DRINKS  TO  ANOTHER'S  GOOD  HEALTH, 

AND 

ROBS  HIMSELF  OF  HIS  OWN. 


(62) 


EVERY  MAN  SHOULD    SWEEP  BE- 
FORE HIS  OWN  DOOR. 


HE  is  a  wise  man  who  has  wit  enough 
for  his  own  affairs.     It  is  a  common 
thing  for  people  to  mind  Number  One,  but 
not  so   common  to  see  people   mend   it. 

(63) 


64      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES, 

When  it  comes  to  spending  money  on 
labor  or  improvements,  they  think  that  re- 
pairs should  begin  at  Number  Two,  and 
Number  Three,  and  go  on  till  all  the  houses 
up  to  Number  Fifty  are  touched  up  before 
any  hint  should  be  given  to  Number  One. 
Now,  this  is  very  stupid,  for  if  charity 
should  begin  at  home,  certainly  reformation 
should  begin  there  too.  It  is  a  waste  of 
time  to  go  far  away  to  make  a  clearance, 
there's  nothing  like  sweeping  the  snow 
from  your  own  door.  Let  every  dog  carry 
his  own  tail.  Mind  your  own  business,  and 
mend  your  own  manners,  and  if  every  man 
does  the  same  all  will  be  minded  and  mend- 
ed, as  the  old  song  says : 

"  Should  every  man  defend  his  house, 

Then  all  would  be  defended  ; 
If  every  man  would  mend  a  man, 
Then  all  mankind  were  mended." 

A  man  who  does  not  look  well  to  his  own 
concerns  is  not  fit  to  be  trusted  with  other 
people's.  Lots  of  folks  are  so  busy  abroad 
that  they  have  no  time  to  look  at  home. 
They  say  the  cobbler's  wife  goes  barefoot, 
and  the  baker's  child  gets  no  buns,  and  the 


SWEEP  BEFORE   YOUR  OWN  DOOR.    65 

sweep's  house  has  sooty  chimneys.  This 
comes  of  a  man's  thinking  that  he  is  every- 
body except  himself.  All  the  wit  in  the 
world  is  not  in  one  head,  and  therefore  the 
wisest  man  living  is  not  bound  to  look 
after  all  his  neighbors'  matters.  There  are 
wonderful  people  about  whose  wisdom 
would  beat  Solomon  into  fits  ;  and  yet  they 
have  not  sense  enough  to  keep  their  own  ket- 
tle from  boiling  over.  They  could  manage 
the  nation,  and  yet  can't  keep  their  boys  out 
of  the  farmer's  orchard ;  they  could  teach  the 
parson,  but  they  can't  learn  themselves. 
They  poke  their  noses  into  other  people's 
concerns,  where  they  are  as  welcome  as 
water  in  one's  shoes,  but  as  for  setting 
their  own  house  to  rights,  they  like  the  job 
about  as  much  as  a  pig  likes  having  a  ring 
put  in  his  nose.  The  meddlesome  man 
will  not  begin  to  darn  his  own  stockings 
because  he  has  left  his  needle  sticking  in 
his  cousin's  socks :  he  will  be  as  grey  as 
grannum's  cat  before  he  improves,  and  yet 
he  struts  like  a  crow  in  a  gutter,  and  thinks 
himself  cock  of  the  walk. 

A   man's    own    selfishness   and   conceit 


66      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

ought  to  make  him  see  to  his  own  ways  if 
nothing  else  does. 

There's  but  one  wise  man  in  the  world, 

And  who  d'ye  think  it  be  ? 
'Tis  this  man,  that  man,  t'other  man, 

Every  man  think's  'tis  he. 

Now,  if  this  be  so,  why  does  not  this  wise 
man  do  the  wise  thing  and  set  his  own  wise 
self  in  the  way  of  growing  wiser  ?  Every 
cat  cleans  its  own  fur,  and  licks  its  own  kit- 
tens :  when  will  men  and  women  mind 
their  own  minds,  and  busy  themselves  with 
their  own  business  ?  Boil  your  own  pota- 
toes, and  let  me  roast  mine  if  I  like ;  I  won't 
do  it  with  your  firing.  "  Every  man  to  his 
tent "  was  the  old  cry  in  Israel,  and  it's  not  a 
bad  one  for  England,  only  Nelson  gave  us  a 
better — 

ENGLAND  EXPECTS  EVERY  MAN  TO  DO  HIS 
DUTY. 


SCANT  FEEDING  OF   MAN  OR 

HORSE    IS    SMALL    PROFIT    AND 

SURE  LOSS. 


WHAT  is    saved    out    of  the  food  of 
cattle  is  a  dead  loss,  for  a  horse  can't 
work  if  he  is  not  fed.     If  an  animal  won't 

(67) 


68      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

pay  for  keeping  he  won't  pay  for  starving. 
Even  the  land  yields  little  if  it  is  not  nour- 
ished, and  it  is  just  the  same  with  the  poor 
beast.  You  might  as  well  try  to  run  a  steam- 
engine  without  coals,  or  drive  a  water-mill 
without  water,  as  work  a  horse  without  put- 
ting corn  into  him.  Thomas  Tusser,  who 
wrote  a  book  upon  "  Husbandry "  in  the 
olden  time,  said, 

"  Who  starveth  his  cattle,  and  weareth  them  out 
By  carting  and  ploughing,  his  gain  I  much  doubt ; 
But  he  that  in  labor  doth  use  them  aright 
Has  gain  to  his  comfort,  and  cattle  in  plight." 

Poor  dumb  animals  cannot  speak  for  them- 
selves, and  therefore  every  one  who  has  his 
speech  should  plead  for  them.  To  keep 
them  short  of  victuals  is  a  crying  shame. 
The  one  in  our  picture  seems  to  be  thoroughly 
broken  in  :  look  at  his  knees  !  His  owner 
ought  to  be  flogged  at  the  cart  tail.  I  hate 
cruelty,  and  above  all  things  the  cruelty 
which  starves  the  laboring  beast. 

A  right  good  man  is  good  to  all, 
And  stints  not  table,  rack,  or  stall ; 
Not  only  cares  for  horse  and  hog, 
But  kindly  thinks  of  cat  and  dog. 


DULY  FEED  MAN  AND  STEED.        69 

Is  not  a  man  better  than  a  beast  ?  Then, 
depend  upon  it,  what  is  good  for  the 
ploughing  horse  is  good  for  the  ploughing 
boy :  a  belly  full  of  plain  food  is  a  wonder- 
ful help  to  a  laboring  man.  A  starving 
workman  is  a  dear  servant.  If  you  don't 
pay  your  men,  they  pay  themselves,  or  else 
they  shirk  their  work.  He  who  labors  well 
should  be  fed  well,  especially  a  ploughman. 

"  Let  such  have  enow 
That  follow  the  plough." 

There  would  be  no  bread  if  it  were  not  for 
the  ploughman :  would  you  starve  the  man 
who  is  the  very  bottom  and  beginning  of 
everything  ?  John  never  brags,  but  he  thinks 
well  of  his  calling,  and  thinks  well  of  those 
who  pay  well :  as  for  those  who  grind  the 
faces  of  the  poor,  the  more  John  thinks  of 
them  the  less  he  thinks  of  them.  A  man 
may  live  upon  little,  but  Farmer  Gripper 
thinks  we  can  live  upon  nothing,  which  is  a 
horse  of  another  color.  I  can't  make  out 
why  the  land  cannot  afford  to  keep  those 
who  work  on  it,  for  it  used  to  do  so.  Tom 
Tusser  wrote  three  hundred  years  ago, 


70      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

"  Good  ploughmen  look  weekly,  of  custom  and  right, 
For  roast  meat  on  Sundays,  and  Thursdays  at  night. 
Thus  doing  and  keeping  such  custom  and  guise, 
They  call  thee  good  huswife,  they  love  thee  likewise." 

This  is  what  he  writes  to  the  farmer's  wife 
about  the  ploughmen  who  lived  at  the  farm 
house,  but  he  has  a  bit  to  say  for  the  other 
fellows  and  their  privileges.  About  the 
harvest  supper  he  says, 

"  In  harvest  time,  harvest  folk,  servants,  and  all, 
Should  make  all  together  good  cheer  in  the  hall." 

I  wish  they  would,  but  then  they  are  so  apt 
to  drink.  Could  we  not  have  a  feast  with- 
out the  beer  and  the  headaches  ?  This  is 
old  Tom's  writing  about  the  harvest  supper, 
and  so  on, — 

"  For  all  this  good  feasting,  yet  art  thou  not  loose, 
Till  ploughman  thou  givest  his  harvest  home  goose. 
Though  goose  go  in  stubble,  I  pass  not  for  that, 
Let  Giles  have  a  goose,  be  she  lean,  be  she  fat." 

I  fancy  I  see  old  Gripper  giving  Giles  a 
goose :  he  would  think  Giles  a  green  goose 
if  he  were  to  hint  at  it.  Gripper  is  a  close 
shaver ;  where  he  grazes  no  goose  could 
pick  up  a  living  after  him.  He  does  not 


DULY  FEED  MAN  AND   STEED.        71 

know  what  his  lean  laborers  say  of  him, 
but  he  might  guess,  for  a  hungry  man  is  an 
angry  man,  and  an  empty  belly  makes  no 
compliments.  As  for  lazy  fellows  who  will 
eat  till  they  sweat  and  work  till  they  freeze, 
I  don't  mind  what  short  commons  they  get ; 
but  a  real  hard-working  man  ought  to  be 
able  to  get  for  a  day's  work  enough  to  keep 
himself  and  family  from  hunger.  If  this 
cannot  be  done,  something  is  wrong  some- 
where, as  the  man  said  when  he  sat  down 
on  a  setting  of  eggs.  I  am  not  going  to 
blame  the  farmers,  or  the  landlords,  or  the 
Parliament  men,  or  anybody ;  but  the  land 
is  good,  and  yields  plenty  for  man  and 
beast,  and  neither  horse  nor  man  should  be 
starved. 

There  is  no  gain  in  being  niggardly  to 
your  cattle.  I  have  known  men  buy  old 
screws  of  horses  and  feed  them  badly,  and 
yet  pay  more  in  the  long  run  for  ploughing 
than  the  owner  of  a  good  team  who  gave 
out  a  fair  allowance.  The  poor  things  can't 
work  if  they  don't  eat.  As  I  said  before,  I 
speak  up  for  the  horses  because  they  can't 
speak  for  themselves.  All  they  can  say, 
however,  goes  to  prove  what  I  have  written : 


72      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

ask  them  if  they  can  plough  well  when  they 
get  bad  corn,  and  little  of  it,  and  they  an- 
swer with  a  neigh. 

As  for  the  men,  I  wish  they  were,  all  round, 
a  more  deserving  set,  but  I  am  obliged  to 
own  that  a  many  are  better  at  grubbing  than 
ploughing.  I  would  say  to  them,  "  Do 
good  work,  and  then  ask  for  good  wages." 
I  am  afraid  that  many  are  not  worth  more 
than  they  get.  Our  old  master  used  to  say 
to  Crawley  Jones — 

"  You  feed  so  fast,  and  walk  so  very  slow — 
Eat  with  your  legs,  and  with  your  grinders  go." 

But  then,  if  Jones  was  a  slow  man,  he 
certainly  had  slow  pay.  He  did  not  see  the 
fun  of  working  to  the  tune  of  twenty  shill- 
ings when  he  had  only  ten.  If  he  had  done 
more,  master  would  have  given  him  more, 
but  Jones  couldn't  see  that,  and  so  he 
mouched  about,  doing  next  to  nothing,  and 
got  next  to  nothing  for  it.  He  very  seldom 
got  a  bit  of  meat,  and  there  was  no  bone  or 
muscle  in  the  man.  He  seemed  to  be  fed 
on  turnip-tops,  and  was  as  dull  as  a  dor- 
mouse in  winter  time,  and  unless  you  had 
emptied  a  skip  of  bees  over  him  you  couldn't 


DULY  FEED  MAN  AND  STEED.       73 

have  woke  him  up.  They  say  that  Johnny 
Raw  is  a  stupid ;  he  would  not  be  half  so 
stupid  if  he  had  more  raw  to  put  in  his  pot. 

Though  lubbers  might  loiter  with  belly  too  full, 
We're  not  in  that  case,  but  our  belts  we  must  pull ; 
Could  we  manage  to  get  a  little  more  meat, 
We  could  do  twice  as  much,  and  think  it  no  feat. 

They  call  a  ploughman  Chaw-bacon,  do 
they  ?  Wouldn't  he  like  a  bit  more  bacon 
to  chaw?  Hundreds  and  thousands  of 
hard-working  men  down  in  the  shires 
hardly  get  enough  fat  to  grease  the  wheels 
of  life,  and  the  more's  the  pity.  As  to  the 
poor  women  and  children,  it  is  often  short- 
cake with  them:  bread,  and  pull  it,  and 
little  of  that. 

One  thing,  however,  is  as  plain  as  a  pike- 
staff; the  laborer  cannot  afford  to  keep  a 
public  house  going  while  he  has  so  little  for 
his  own  private  house.  He  has  not  a  penny 
to  spare,  I'm  sure,  but  had  need  to  take  all 
home  to  the  missus  that  he  can  make  by 
hook  or  by  crook.  Miss  Hannah  More 
wrote  two  verses  which  every  ploughman 
should  read,  and  mark,  and  learn. 


74      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

"  We  say  the  times  are  grevious  hard, 

And  hard  they  are,  'tis  true  ! 
But,  drinkers,  to  your  wives  and  babes 
They're  harder  made  by  you. 

"  The  drunkard's  tax  is  self-imposed, 

Like  every  other  sin  ; 
The  taxes  altogether  cost 
Not  half  so  much  as  gin." 

Well,  if  after  all  our  being  sober  and 
thrifty,  we  cannot  get  along  without  pinch- 
ing, let  us  still  be  patient  and  contented. 
We  have  more  blessings  than  we  can  count 
even  now.  If  masters  happen  to  be  close- 
fisted,  God  is  open-handed,  and  if  the  out- 
ward food  be  scant,  the  bread  of  heaven  is 
plentiful.  Cheer  up,  brother  ploughman,  it's 
better  on  before.  There  is  a  city  where  "  the 
very  streets  are  paved  with  gold  exceeding 
clear  and  fine."  This  should  make  us  feel 
like  singing  all  the  time,  and  help  us  to 
follow  the  advice  of  old  Thomas — 

"  At  bed,  and  at  board,  whatsoever  befall, 
Whatever  God  sendeth,  be  merry  withal.'* 


NEVER    STOP    THE    PLOUGH    TO 
CATCH  A  MOUSE. 


THERE'S  not  much  profit  in  this  game. 
Think  of  a  man  and  a  boy  and  four 
horses  all  standing  still  for  the  sake  of  a 
mouse  !     What  would  old  friend  Tusser  say 

(75) 


76      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

to  that  ?  I  think  he  would  rhyme  in  this 
fashion — 

A  ploughman  deserveth  a  cut  of  the  whip, 
If  for  idle  pretence  he  let  the  hours  slip. 

Heaps  of  people  act  like  the  man  in  our 
picture.  They  have  a  great  work  in  hand 
which  wants  all  their  wits,  and  they  leave 
it  to  squabble  over  some  pretty  nothing,  not 
worth  a  fig.  Old  master  Tom  would  say 
to  them — 

No  more  tittle  tattle,  go  on  with  your  cattle. 

He  could  not  bear  for  a  farmer  to  let  his 
horses  out  for  carting  even,  because  it  took 
their  work  away  from  the  farm,  and  so  I 
am  sure  he  would  be  in  a  great  stew  if  he 
saw  farmers  wasting  their  time  at  matches, 
and  hunts,  and  the  like.  He  says — 

"  Who  slacketh  his  tillage  a  carter  to  be, 
For  groat  got  abroad,  at  home  shall  lose  three; 
For  sure  by  so  doing  he  brings  out  of  heart, 
Both  land  for  the  corn,  and  horse  for  the  cart." 

The  main  chance  must  be  minded,  and  the 
little  things  must  be  borne  with.  Nobody 
would  burn  his  house  down  to  kill  the 


MO  USE-  tA  TCHING.  77 

blackbeetles,  and  it  would  never  answer  to 
kill  the  bullocks  to  feed  the  cats.  If  our 
baker  left  off  making  bread  for  a  week  while 
he  cracked  the  cockroaches,  what  should 
we  ail  do  for  breakfast?  If  the  butcher 
sold  no  more  meat  till  he  had  killed  all  the 
blow-flies,  we  should  be  many  a  day  with- 
out mutton.  If  the  water  companies  never 
gave  the  Londoners  a  drink  till  they  had 
fished  every  gudgeon  out  of  the  Thames, 
how  would  the  old  ladies  make  their  tea? 
There's  no  use  in  stopping  your  fishing  be- 
cause of  the  sea-weed,  nor  your  riding  be- 
cause of  the  dust. 

Now,  our  minister  said  to  me  the  other 
day,  "  John,  if  you  were  on  the  committees 
of  some  of  our  societies  you  would  see  this 
mouse-hunting  done  to  perfection.  Not  only 
committees,  but  whole  bodies  of  Christian 
people,  go  mouse-hunting."  Well,  said  I, 
minister,  just  write  me  a  bit,  and  I  will  stick 
it  in  my  book,  it  will  be  beef  to  my  horse- 
radish. Here's  his  writing — 

"  A  society  of  good  Christian  people  will 
split  into  pieces  over  a  petty  quarrel,  or 
mere  matter  of  opinion,  while  all  around 
them  the  masses  are  perishing  for  want  of 


78      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

the  gospel.  A  miserable  little  mouse, 
which  no  cat  would  ever  hunt,  takes  them 
off  from  their  Lord's  work.  Again,  intelli- 
gent men  will  spend  months  of  time  and 
heaps  of  money  in  inventing  and  publishing 
mere  speculations,  while  the  great  field  of 
the  world  lies  unploughed.  They  seem  to 
care  nothing  how  many  may  perish  so  long 
as  they  can  ride  their  hobbies.  In  other 
matters  a  little  common  sense  is  allowed 
to  rule,  but  in  the  weightiest  matters  fool- 
ishness is  sadly  conspicuous.  As  for  you 
and  me,  John,  let  us  kill  a  mouse  when  it 
nibbles  our  bread,  but  let  us  not  spend  our 
lives  over  it.  What  can  be  done  by  a 
mousetrap  or  a  cat  should  not  occupy  all 
our  thoughts. 

The  paltry  trifles  of  this  world  are  much 
of  the  same  sort.  Let  us  give  our  chief  at- 
tention to  the  chief  things, — the  glory  of 
God,  the  winning  of  souls  for  Jesus,  and 
our  own  salvation.  There  are  fools  enough 
in  the  world,  and  there  can  be  no  need  that 
Christian  men  should  swell  the  number. 
Go  on  with  your  ploughing,  John,  and  I 
will  go  on  with  my  preaching,  and  in  due 
season  we  shall  reap  if  we  faint  not." 


A  LOOKING  GLASS   IS  OF  NO  USE 
TO  A  BLIND  MAN. 


HE  who  will  not  see  is  much  the  same 
as  if  he    had   no  eyes  ;  indeed,  in 
some  things,  the  man  without  eyes  has  the 
advantage,  for  he  is  in  the  dark  and  knows 

(79) 


8o      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

it.  A  lantern  is  of  no  use  to  a  bat,  and 
good  teaching  is  lost  on  the  man  who  will 
not  learn.  Reason  is  folly  with  the  un- 
reasonable. One  man  can  lead  a  horse  to 
the  water,  but  a  hundred  cannot  make  him 
drink :  it  is  easy  work  to  tell  a  man  the 
truth,  but  if  he  will  not  be  convinced  your 
labor  is  lost.  We  pity  the  poor  blind,  we 
cannot  do  so  much  as  that  for  those  who 
shut  their  eyes  against  the  light. 

A  man  who  is  blind  to  his  own  faults  is 
blind  to  his  own  interests.  He  who  thinks 
that  he  never  was  a  fool  is  a  fool  now.  He 
who  never  owns  that  he  is  wrong  will  never 
get  right.  He'll  mend,  as  the  saying  is, 
when  he  grows  better,  like  sour  beer  in  sum- 
mer. How  can  a  man  take  the  smuts  off 
his  face  if  he  will  not  look  in  the  glass,  nor 
believe  that  they  are  there  when  he  is  told 
of  them  ? 

Prejudice  shuts  up  many  eyes  in  total 
darkness.  The  man  knows  already  :  he  is 
positive  and  can  swear  to  it,  and  it's  no  use 
your  arguing.  He  has  made  up  his  mind, 
and  it  did  not  take  him  long,  for  there's  very 
little  of  it,  but  when  he  has  said  a  thing  he 
sticks  to  it  like  cobbler's  wax.  He  is 


THE  BLIND  NEED  NO  MIRRORS.      81 

wiser  than  seven  men  that  can  render  a 
reason.  He  is  as  positive  as  if  he  had  been 
on  the  other  side  the  curtain  and  looked  into 
the  back  yard  of  the  universe.  He  talks 
as  if  he  carried  all  knowledge  in  his  waist- 
coat pocket,  like  a  peppermint  lozenge. 
Those  who  like  may  try  to  teach  him,  but 
I  don't  care  to  hold  up  a  mirror  to  a  mole. 

Some  men  are  blinded  by  their  worldly 
business,  and  could  not  see  heaven  itself  if 
the  windows  were  open  over  their  heads. 
Look  at  farmer  Grab,  he  is  like  Nebuchad- 
nezzar, for  his  conversation  is  all  among 
beasts,  and  if  he  does  not  eat  grass  it  is  be- 
cause he  never  could  stomach  salads.  His 
dinner  is  his  best  devotion,  he  is  a  terrible 
fastener  on  a  piece  of  beef,  and  sweats  at  it 
more  than  at  his  labor.  As  old  Master 
Earle  says,  "  His  religion  is  a  part  of  his 
copyhold,  which  he  takes  from  his  landlord, 
and  refers  wholly  to  his  lordship's  discretion. 
If  he  gives  him  leave,  he  goes  to  church  in 
his  best  clothes,  and  sits  there  with  his 
neighbors,  but  never  prays  more  than  two 
prayers — for  rain  and  for  fair  weather,  as 
the  case  may  be.  He  is  a  niggard  all 
the  week,  except  on  market  days,  where,  if 
6 


82      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

his  corn  sell  well,  he  thinks  he  may  be 
drunk  with  a  good  conscience.  He  is  sensi- 
ble of  no  calamity  but  the  burning  of  a  stack 
of  corn,  or  the  overflowing  of  a  meadow, 
and  he  thinks  Noah's  flood  the  greatest 
plague  that  ever  was,  not  because  it 
drowned  the  world,  but  spoiled  the  grass. 
For  death  he  is  never  troubled,  and  if  he 
gets  in  his  harvest  before  it  happens,  it  may 
come  when  it  will,  he  cares  not."  He  is  as 
stubborn  as  he  is  stupid,  and  to  get  a  new 
thought  into  his  head  you  would  need 
to  bore  a  hole  in  his  skull  with  a  centre- 
bit.  The  game  would  not  be  worth  the 
candle.  We  must  leave  him  alone,  for  he  is 
too  old  in  the  tooth,  and  too  blind  to  be 
made  to  see. 

Other  people  hurt  their  eyes  by  using 
glasses  which  are  not  spectacles.  I  have 
tried  to  convince  Joe  Scroggs  that  it  would 
be  a  fine  thing  for  him  to  join  the  teetotalers, 
and  he  has  nothing  to  say  against  it  only 
"  he  does  not  see  it." 

"  He  up  and  told  me  to  my  face, 
The  chimney  corner  should  be  his  place, 
And  there  he'd  sit  and  dye  his  face, 
And  drink  till  all  is  blue." 


THE  BLIND   NEED  NO   MIRRORS.     83 

All  is  blue  with  him  now,  for  his  furniture 
is  nearly  all  sold,  and  his  wife  and  children 
have  not  a  shoe  to  their  foot,  and  yet  he 
laughs  about  "  a  yard  of  pump  water,"  and 
tells  me  to  go  and  drink  my  cocoa.  Poor 
soul !  Poor  soul ! 

In  tippling  is  his  sole  delight, 
Each  sign- post  bars  his  way ; 

He  spends  in  muddy  ale  at  night 
The  wages  of  the  day. 

Can  nothing  be  done  for  such  poor  fools. 
Why  not  shorten  the  hours  for  dealing  out 
the  drink  ?  Why  not  shut  up  the  public- 
houses  on  Sundays  ?  If  these  people  have 
not  got  sense  enough  to  take  care  of  them- 
selves the  law  should  protect  them.  Will 
Shepherd  says  he  has  to  fetch  his  sheep  out 
of  a  field  when  they  are  likely  to  get  blown 
through  eating  too  much  green  meat,  and 
there  ought  to  be  power  to  fetch  sots  out  of 
a  beer-shop  when  they  are  worse  than 
blowed  through  drink.  How  I  wish  I 
could  make  poor  Scroggs  see  as  I  do,  but 
there,  if  a  fellow  has  no  eyes  he  can't  see  the 
sun,  though  his  nose  is  being  scorched  off  in 
the  glare  of  it. 


84      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

Of  all  dust  the  worst  for  the  eyes  is  gold 
dust.  A  bribe  blinds  the  judgment,  and 
riches  darken  the  mind.  As  smoke  to  the 
eyes,  so  also  is  flattery  to  the  soul,  and 
prejudice  turns  the  light  of  the  sun  into  a 
darkness  that  may  be  felt.  We  are  all 
blind  by  nature,  and  till  the  good  Physician 
opens  our  eyes  we  grope,  even  in  gospel 
light.  All  the  preaching  in  the  world  can- 
not make  a  man  see  the  truth  so  long  as  his 
eyes  are  blinded.  There  is  a  heavenly  eye- 
salve  which  is  a  sovereign  cure,  but  the 
worst  of  the  matter  is  that  the  blind  in 
heart  think  they  see  already,  and  so  they 
are  likely  to  die  in  darkness.  Let  us  pray 
for  those  who  never  pray  for  themselves : 
God's  power  can  do  for  them  what  is  far 
beyond  our  power. 

A  dark  and  blinded  thing  is  man, 

Yet  full  of  fancied  light ! 
But  all  his  penetration  can 

Obtain  no  gospel  light. 

Though  heavenly  truth  may  blaze  abroad, 

He  cannot  see  at  all ; 
Though  gospel  leaders  show  the  road, 

He  still  gropes  for  the  wall. 


THE  BLIND  NEED  NO  MIRRORS.     85 

Perhaps  he  stands  to  hear  the  sound, 

But  blind  he  still  remains, 
No  meaning  in  the  word  is  found 

To  cause  him  joys  or  pains. 

O  Lord,  thy  holy  power  display, 

For  thou  the  help  must  find ; 
Pour  in  the  light  of  gospel  day, 

Illuminate  the  blind. 

Behold,  how  unconcerned  they  dwell 

Though  reft  of  sight  they  be, 
They  fancy  they  can  see  right  well, 

And  need  no  help  from  thee. 

Speak,  and  they'll  mourn  their  blinded  eyes, 

And  cry  to  thee  for  light ; 
O  Lord,  do  not  our  prayer  despise, 

But  give  these  blind  men  sight. 


HE    HAS   GOT  THE   FIDDLE,   BUT 
NOT  THE  STICK. 


IT  often  comes  to  pass  that  a  man  steps 
into  another's  shoes,  and  yet  cannot 
walk  in  them.   A  poor  tool  of  a  parson  gets 
into  a  good  man's   pulpit,  and  takes   the 

(86) 


GOT  THE  FIDDLE,  NOT  THE  STICK.  87 

same  texts,  but  the  sermons  are  chalk,  and 
not  cheese.  A  half-baked  young  swell  in- 
herits his  father's  money,  but  not  his  gen- 
erosity, his  barns,  but  not  his  brains,  his 
title,  but  not  his  sense, — he  has  the  fiddle 
without  the  stick,  and  the  more's  the  pity. 
Some  people  imagine  that  they  have  only 
to  get  hold  of  the  plough-handles,  and  they 
would  soon  beat  John  Ploughman.  If  they 
had  his  fiddle  they  are  sure  they  could  play 
on  it.  J.  P.  presents  his  compliments,  and 
wishes  he  may  be  there  when  it  is  done. 

"  That  I  fain  would  see, 
Quoth  blind  George  of  Hollowee." 

However,  between  you  and  me  and  the  bed- 
post, there  is  one  secret  which  John  does 
not  mind  letting  out.  John's  fiddle  is  poor 
enough,  but  the  stick  is  a  right  good  one, 
too  good  to  be  called  a  fiddle-stick.  Do 
you  want  to  see  the  stick  with  which  John 
plays  his  fiddle  ?  Here  it  is — Looking  to 
God  for  help,  John  always  tries  to  do  his 
best,  whatever  he  has  to  do,  and  he  has 
found  this  to  be  the  very  best  way  to  play 
all  kinds  of  tunes.  What  little  music  there 
is  in  John's  poor  old  fiddle  comes  out 


88     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

of  it  in  that  way.     Listen  to    a  scrape  or 
two. 

If  I  were  a  cobbler,  I'd  make  it  my  pride 

The  best  of  all  cobblers  to  be ; 
If  I  were  a  tinker,  no  tinker  beside 

Should  mend  an  old  kettle  like  me. 

And  being  a  ploughman,  I  plough  with  the  best, 
No  furrow  runs  straighter  than  mine ; 

I  waste  not  a  moment,  and  stay  not  to  rest, 
Though  idlers  to  tempt  me  combine. 

Yet  I  wish  not  to  boast,  for  trust  I  have  none 

In  aught  I  can  do  or  can  be ; 
I  rest  in  my  Saviour,  and  what  he  has  done 

To  ransom  poor  sinners  like  me. 


"  GREAT  CRY  AND  LITTLE  WOOL/' 

AS  THE  MAN  SAID  WHO  CLIPPED 

THE  SOW. 


OUR  friend  Hodge  does  not  seem  to  be 
making  much  of  an  out  at  shearing. 
It  will  take  him  all  his   time   to  get  wool 

(89) 


90      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

enough  for  a  blanket,  and  his  neighbors  are 
telling  him  so,  but  he  does  not  heed  them, 
for  a  man  never  listens  to  reason  when  he 
has  made  up  his  mind  to  act  unreasonably. 
Hodge  gets  plenty  of  music  of  a  sort : 
Hullah's  system  is  nothing  to  it,  and  even 
Nebuchadnezzar's  flutes,  harps,  sackbuts, 
and  dulcimers  could  not  make  more  din. 
He  gets  "  cry  "  enough  to  stock  a  Babylon 
of  babies,  but  not  wool  enough  to  stop  his 
ears  with. 

Now,  is  not  this  very  like  the  world  with 
its  notions  of  pleasure  ?  There  is  noise 
enough  ;  laughter  and  shouting,  and  boast- 
ing ;  but  where  is  the  comfort  which  can 
warm  the  heart  and  give  peace  to  the 
spirit  ?  Generally  there's  plenty  of  smoke 
and  very  little  fire  in  what  is  called  pleasure. 
It  promises  a  nag  and  gives  an  egg.  Gaiety 
is  a  sort  of  flash  in  the  pan,  a  fifth  of  No- 
vember squib,  all  fizz  and  bang  and  done 
for.  The  devil's  meal  is  all  bran,  and  the 
world's  wine  turns  to  vinegar.  It  is  al- 
ways making  a  great  noise  over  nutshells. 
Thousands  have  had  to  weep  over  their 
blunders  in  looking  for  their  heaven  on 
earth ;  but  they  follow  each  other  like  sheep 


GREAT  CRY  AND  LITTLE   WOOL.      91 

through  a  gap,  not  a  bit  the  wiser  for  the 
experience  of  generations.  It  seems  that 
every  man  must  have  a  clip  at  his  own  par- 
ticular pig,  and  cannot  be  made  to  believe 
that  like  all  the  rest  it  will  yield  him  noth- 
ing but  bristles.  Men  are  not  all  of  one 
mind  as  to  what  is  best  for  them  ;  they  no 
more  agree  than  the  clocks  in  our  village, 
but  they  all  hang  together  in  following 
after  vanity,  for  to  the  core  of  their  hearts 
they  are  vain. 

One  shears  the  publican's  hog,  which  is 
so  fond  of  the  swill  tub,  and  he  reckons 
upon  bringing  home  a  wonderful  lot  of 
wool;  but  everybody  knows  that  he  who 
goes  to  the  u  Woolpack  "  for  wool  will  come 
home  shorn:  the  "Blue  Boar"  is  an  un- 
commonly ugly  animal  to  shear,  and  so  is 
the  "  Red  Lion."  Better  sheer  off  as  fast 
as  you  can ;  it  will  be  sheer  folly  to  stop. 
You  may  loaf  about  the  tap  of  the  "  Half- 
moon  "  till  you  get  the  full  moon  in  your 
noddle,  and  need  a  keeper :  it  is  the  place 
for  men  whose  wits  go  woolgathering,  but 
wool  there  is  none. 

Another  is  covetous,  and  hopes  to  escape 
misery  by  being  a  miser  :  his  greedy  mind 


92      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

can  no  more  be  filled  than  a  lawyer's  purse  : 
he  never  has  enough,  and  so  he  never  has 
a  feast.  He  makes  money  with  his  teeth, 
by  keeping  them  idle.  That  is  a  very  lean 
hog  to  clip  at,  for  poverty  wants  some 
things,  luxury  many  things,  but  covetous- 
ness  wants  all  things.  If  we  could  hoard 
up  all  the  money  in  the  world,  what  would 
it  be  to  us  at  last?  To-day  at  good  cheer, 
to-morrow  on  the  bier :  in  the  midst  of  life 
we, are  in  death. 

Some,  like  old  Mrs.  Too-good,  go  in  for 
self-righteousness,  and  their  own  mouths 
dub  them  saints.  They  are  the  pink  of  per- 
fection, the  cream  of  creation,  the  gems  of 
their  generation,  and  yet  a  sensible  man 
would  not  live  in  the  same  house  with  them 
for  all  the  money  you  could  count.  They  are 
saints  abroad,  but  ask  their  maids  what  they 
are  at  home.  Great  cry  and  little  wool  is 
common  enough  in  religion :  you  will  find 
that  those  who  crack  themselves  up  are 
generally  cracked,  and  those  who  despise 
their  neighbors  come  to  be  despised  them- 
selves. 

Many  try  wickedness,  and  run  into  bad 
company,  and  rake  the  kennels  of  vice.  I 


GREAT  CRY  AND  LITTLE  WOOL.      93 

warrant  you  they  may  shear  the  whole  sty- 
ful  of  filthy  creatures  and  never  find  a  mor- 
sel of  wool  on  the  whole  lot  of  them.  Loose 
characters,  silly  amusements,  gambling,  wan- 
tonness, and  such  like,  are  swine  that  none 
but  a  fool  will  try  his  shears  upon.  I  don't 
deny  that  there's  plenty  of  swinish  music — 
who  ever  expected  that  there  would  be 
silence  in  a  piggery  ?  But  then  noise  cannot 
fill  the  heart,  nor  laughter  lighten  the  soul. 
John  Ploughman  has  tried  for  himself, 
and  he  knows  by  experience  that  all  the 
world  is  nothing  but  a  hog  that  is  not  worth 
the  shearing :  "  Vanity  of  vanities,  all  is 
vanity."  But  yet  there  is  wool  to  be  had  ; 
there  are  real  joys  to  be  got  for  the  asking 
if  we  ask  aright.  Below,  all  things  deceive 
us,  but  above  us  there  is  a  true  Friend. 
"  Wherefore  do  ye  spend  your  money  for 
that  which  is  not  bread,  and  your  labor  for 
that  which  satisfieth  not  ?  "  This  is  John 
Ploughman's  verdict,  which  he  wishes  all 
his  readers  to  take  note  of — 

"  Faith  in  Jesus  Christ  will  give 
Sweetest  pleasures  while  we  live ; 
Faith  in  Jesus  must  supply 
Solid  comfort  when  we  die." 


YOU  MAY  BEND  THE  SAPLING, 
BUT  NOT  THE  TREE. 


LADDER,  and  pole,  and  cord  will  be  of 
no  use  to  straighten  the  bent  tree; 
it   should   have   been   looked    after   much 
earlier.     Train  trees  when  they  are  saplings 

(94) 


BEND    THE  SAPLING.  95 

and  young  lads  before  the  down  comes  on 
their  chins.  If  you  want  a  bullfinch  to 
pipe,  whistle  to  him  while  he  is  young ;  he 
will  scarcely  catch  the  tune  after  he  has 
learnt  the  wild  bird's  note.  Begin  early  to 
teach,  for  children  begin  early  to  sin. 
Catch  them  young  and  you  may  hope  to 
keep  them. 

Ere  your  boy  has  reached  to  seven, 
Teach  him  well  the  way  to  heaven  : 
Better  still  the  work  will  thrive, 
If  he  learns  before  he's  five. 

What  is  learned  young  is  learned  for  life. 
What  we  hear  at  the  first  we  remember  to 
the  last.  The  bent  twig  grows  up  a  crooked 
tree.  Horse-breakers  say 

"  The  tricks  a  colt  getteth  at  his  first  backing, 
Will  whilst  he  continueth  never  be  lacking." 

When  a  boy  is  rebellious,  conquer  him,  and 
do  it  well  the  first  time,  that  there  may  be 
no  need  to  do  it  again.  A  child's  first  les- 
son should  be  obedience,  and  after  that  you 
may  teach  it  what  you  please:  yet  the 
young  mind  must  not  be  laced  too  tight,  or 
you  may  hurt  its  growth  and  hinder  its 


96     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

strength.  They  say  a  daft  nurse  makes  a 
wise  child,  but  I  do  not  believe  it :  nobody 
needs  so  much  common  sense  as  a  mother 
or  a  governess.  It  does  not  do  to  be  al- 
ways thwarting ;  and  yet  remember  if  you 
give  a  child  his  will  and  a  whelp  his  fill, 
both  will  surely  turn  out  ill.  A  child's  back 
must  be  made  to  bend,  but  it  must  not  be 
broken.  He  must  be  ruled,  but  not  with  a 
rod  of  iron.  His  spirit  must  be  conquered, 
but  not  crushed. 

Nature  does  sometimes  overcome  nurture, 
but  for  the  most  part  the  teacher  wins  the 
day.  Children  are  what  they  are  made : 
the  pity  is  that  so  many  are  spoiled  in  the 
bringing  up.  A  child  may  be  rocked  too 
hard;  you  may  spoil  him  either  by  too 
much  cuffing  or  too  much  kissing.  I  knew 
two  boys  who  had  a  Christian  mother,  but 
she  always  let  them  have  their  own  way. 
The  consequence  was  that  when  they  grew 
up  they  took  to  drinking  and  low  company 
and  soon  spent  the  fortune  their  father  left 
them.  No  one  controlled  them  and  they 
had  no  control  over  themselves,  and  so  they 
just  rattled  along  the  broad  road  like 
butcher  boys  with  runaway  horses,  and 


BEND    THE  SAPLING.  97 

there  was  no  stopping  them.  A  birch  or 
two  worn  out  upon  them  when  they  were 
little  would  have  been  a  good  use  of  timber. 

Still,  a  child  can  be  treated  too  hardly, 
and  especially  he  can  be  shut  up  too  many 
hours  in  school,  when  a  good  run  and  a 
game  of  play  would  do  him  more  good. 
Cows  don't  give  any  the  more  milk  for 
being  often  milked,  nor  do  children  learn 
any  more  because  of  very  long  hours  in  a 
hot  room. 

A  boy  can  be  driven  to  learn  till  he  loses 
half  his  wits  :  forced  fruits  have  little  flavor; 
a  man  at  five  is  a  fool  at  fifteen.  If  you 
make  veal  of  the  calf  he  will  never  turn  to 
beef.  Yet  learning  may  be  left  so  long  that 
the  little  dunce  is  always  behindhand. 

There's  a  medium  in  everything  and  he 
is  a  good  father  who  hits  upon  it,  so  that  he 
governs  his  family  with  love,  and  his  family 
loves  to  be  governed  by  him.  Some  are 
like  Eli,  who  let  his  sons  sin  and  only  chided 
them  a  little ;  these  will  turn  out  to  be  cruel 
parents  in  the  long  run :  others  are  too 
strict,  and  make  home  miserable,  and  so 
drive  the  youngsters  to  the  wrong  road  in 
another  way.  Tight  clothes  are  very  apt  to 
7 


98      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

tear,  and  hard  laws  are  often  broken :  but 
loose  garments  tear  too,  and  where  there 
are  no  laws  at  all,  things  are  sure  to  go 
amiss.  So  you  see  it  is  easy  to  err  on  either 
side,  and  hard  to  dance  the  tight-rope  of 
wisdom.  Depend  on  it,  he  who  has  a  wife 
and  bairns  will  never  be  short  of  care  to 
carry.  See  what  we  get  when  we  come  to 
marry,  yet  many  there  are  who  will  not 
tarry. 

In  these  days  children  have  a  deal  too 
much  of  their  own  way,  and  often  make 
their  mothers  and  fathers  their  slaves.  It 
has  come  to  a  fine  pass  when  the  goslings 
teach  the  geese,  and  the  kittens  rule  the 
cat :  it  is  the  upsetting  of  everything,  and 
no  parent  ought  to  put  up  with  it.  It  is  as 
bad  for  the  boys  and  girls  as  it  is  for  the 
grown  folk,  and  it  brings  out  the  worst  side 
of  their  characters.  I  would  sooner  be  a 
cat  on  hot  bricks,  or  a  toad  under  a  harrow, 
than  let  my  own  children  be  my  masters. 
No,  the  head  must  be  the  head,  or  it  will 
hurt  the  whole  body. 

For  children  out  of  place 
Are  a  father's  disgrace, 
If  you  rule  not  you'll  rue, 
For  they'll  quickly  rule  you. 


A  MAN  MAY  LOVE  HIS  HOUSE, 

THOUGH  HE  RIDE  NOT  ON  THE 

RIDGE. 


YOU  can  love  your  house  and  not  ride 
on  the  ridge  ;  there's  a  medium  in 
everything.     You  can  be  fond  of  your  wife 

(99) 


ioo     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

without  being  her  drudge,  and  you  can  love 
your  children  dearly,  and  yet  not  give  them 
their  own  way  in  everything.  Some  men  are 
of  so  strange  a  kidney  that  they  set  no 
bounds  to  their  nonsense.  If  they  are  fond 
of  roast  beef  they  must  needs  suck  the  spit; 
they  cannot  rest  with  eating  the  pudding, 
they  must  swallow  the  bag.  If  they  dis- 
like a  thing,  the  very  smell  of  it  sets  them 
grumbling,  and  if  they  like  it  they  must 
have  it  everywhere  and  always,  for  nothing 
else  is  half  so  sweet.  When  they  do  go  in 
for  eating  rabbits,  they  have 

Rabbits  young  and  rabbits  old, 
Rabbits  hot  and  rabbits  cold, 
Rabbits  tender,  rabbits  tough  : 
Never  can  they  have  enough. 

Whatever  they  take  up  takes  them  up,  and  for 
a  season  they  cannot  seize  on  anything  else. 
At  election  times  the  barber  cannot  trim  his 
customer's  poll  because  of  the  polling,  and 
the  draper  cannot  serve  you  with  calico  be- 
cause he  is  canvassing.  The  nation  would 
go  to  the  dogs  altogether  if  the  cat's-meat 
man  did  not  secure  the  election  by  sticking 
his  mark  on  the  ballot  paper.  It  is  supposed 


RIDE  NOT  YOUR  HOBBY  TOO  HARD.  101 

that  the  globe  would  leave  off  turning  round 
if  our  Joe  Scroggs  did  not  go  down  to  the 
"  Dun  Cow,"  and  read  the  paper,  and  have 
his  say  upon  politics,  in  the  presence  of  the 
house  of  commons  assembled  in  the  tap- 
room. I  do  not  quite  think  so,  but  I  know 
this,  that  when  the  Whigs  and  the  Tories 
and  the  Radicals  are  about,  Scroggs  is  good 
for  nothing  all  day  long.  What  party  he 
belongs  to  I  don't  know,  but  I  believe  his 
leading  principle  will  be  seen  in  the  follow- 
ing verse : — 

If  gentlemen  propose  a  glass 

He  never  says  them  nay ; 
For  he  always  thinks  it  right  to  drink 

While  other  people  pay. 

You  can  make  a  good  thing  become  a 
nuisance  by  harping  on  that  one  string  from 
dawn  to  dusk.  A  hen  with  one  chick  makes 
no  end  of  scratching  and  clucking,  and  so 
does  a  fellow  of  one  idea.  He  has  a  bee  in 
his  bonnet,  and  he  tries  to  put  a  wasp  in 
yours.  He  duns  you,  and  if  you  do  not 
agree  with  him  he  counts  you  his  enemy. 
When  you  meet  with  him  you  are  un- 
fortunate, and  when  you  leave  him  you  will 
better  yourself  go  where  you  may :  "  there's 


102    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

small  sorrow  at  our  parting,  "  as  the  old  mare 
said  to  the  broken  cart.  You  may  try  to 
humor  him,  but  he  will  have  all  the  more 
humors  if  you  do,  for  the  man  knows  no 
moderation,  and  if  you  let  him  ride  on  the 
roof  he  will  soon  sit  on  the  chimney-pot. 

One  man  of  my  acquaintance  used  to  take 
Morrison's  pills  every  day  of  his  life,  and 
when  I  called  to  see  him  I  had  not  been 
there  ten  minutes  before  he  wanted  me  to 
take  a  dose,  but  I  could  not  swallow  what 
he  told  me  nor  the  pills  either,  so  I  told  him 
I  dare  say  they  were  very  good  for  him,  but 
they  did  not  suit  my  constitution :  however, 
he  kept  on  with  his  subject  till  I  was  fain  to 
be  off.  Another  man  never  catches  sight  of 
me  but  he  talks  about  vaccination  and  goes 
on  against  it  till  he  froths  at  the  mouth,  and 
I  am  half  afraid  he  will  inoculate  me.  My 
master  had  a  capital  horse,  worth  a  good 
deal  of  money,  only  he  always  shied  at  a 
stone-heap  on  the  road,  and  if  there  were 
fifty  of  them  he  always  bolted  off  the  road 
every  time.  He  had  got  heaps  on  his  brain, 
poor  creature,  and  though  he  was  fit  for  a 
nobleman's  carriage  he  had  to  be  put  to 
plough.  Some  men  have  got  stone-heaps 


RIDE  NOT  YOUR  HOBBY  TOO  HARD.  103 

in  their  poor  noddles  and  this  spoils  them 
for  life  and  makes  it  dangerous  for  all  who 
have  to  deal  with  them.  What  queer  fish 
there  are  in  our  pond  !  I  am  afraid  that  most 
of  us  have  a  crack  somewhere,  but  we  don't 
all  show  it  quite  so  much  as  some.  We 
ought  to  have  a  good  deal  of  patience,  and 
then  we  shall  find  amusement  where  else 
we  should  be  bothered  to  death.  One  of 
my  mates  says  the  world  is  not  round,  and 
so  I  always  drop  into  his  notion  and  tell 
him  this  is  a  flat  world  and  he  is  a  flat 
too. 

What  a  trial  it  is  to  be  shut  up  for  an 
hour  with  a  man  or  a  woman  with  a  hobby  ; 
riding  in  a  horsebox  with  a  bear  with  a  sore 
head  is  nothing  to  it.  The  man  is  so  fond 
of  bacon  that  he  wants  you  to  kiss  his  pig, 
and  all  the  while  you  hope  you  will  never 
again  see  either  the  man  or  his  pork  as  long 
as  you  live.  No  matter  what  the  whole  hog 
may  be,  the  man  who  goes  it  is  terrible. 

Rocking  horse  for  boy, 
Hobby  horse  for  man  ; 
Each  one  rides  his  toy 
Whenever  he  can. 


104    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

The  boy  is  right  glad 
Though  he  rideth  alone ; 
His  father's  own  fad 
By  the  world  must  be  known. 

Of  the  two  hobby  rides, 
The  boy's  is  the  best ; 
For  the  man  often  chides, 
And  gives  you  no  rest. 

It  is  a  good  thing  for  a  man  to  be  fond  of 
his  own  trade  and  his  own  place,  but  still 
there  is  reason  in  everything,  even  in  roast- 
ing eggs.  When  a  man  thinks  that  his 
place  is  below  him  he  will  pretty  soon 
be  below  his  place,  and  therefore  a  good 
opinion  of  your  own  calling  is  by  no  means 
an  evil ;  yet  nobody  is  everybody,  and  no 
trade  is  to  crow  over  the  rest.  The  cobbler 
has  his  awl  but  he  is  not  all,  and  the  hatter 
wears  a  crown  but  he  is  not  king.  A  man 
may  come  to  market  without  buying  my 
onions,  and  ploughing  can  be  done  with 
other  horses  than  mine,  though  Dapper  and 
Violet  are  something  to  brag  of.  The  farm- 
ing interest  is  no  doubt  first,  and  so  is  the 
saddler's,  and  so  is  the  tinker's,  and  so  is 
the  grocer's,  and  so  is  the  draper's,  and  so 
is  the  parson's,  and  so  is  the  parish  beadle's, 


RIDE  NO  T  YO UR  HOBB  Y  TOO  HARD.  105 

and  so  is  every  other  interest  according  to 
each  man's  talk. 

Your  trade,  as  a  trade,  is  all  very  well, 
But  other  good  folk  have  their  cheeses  to  sell ; 
You  must  not  expect  all  the  world  to  bow  down, 
And  give  to  one  pedlar  the  sceptre  and  crown. 

It  is  astonishing  how  much  men  will  cry 
up  small  matters.  They  are  very  busy,  but 
it  is  with  catching  flies.  They  talk  about  a 
mushroom  till  you  would  think  it  was  the 
only  thing  at  the  Lord  Mayor's  dinner,  and 
the  beef  and  the  turkeys  went  for  nothing. 
They  say  nothing  about  the  leg  of  mutton, 
for  they  are  so  much  in  love  with  the  trim-* 
mings.  They  can't  keep  things  in  their  places, 
but  make  more  of  a  horse's  tail  than  they  do 
of  his  whole  body.  Like  the  cock  on  the 
dunghill,  they  consider  a  poor  barley-corn 
to  be  worth  more  than  a  diamond.  A  thing 
happens  to  suit  their  taste  and  so  there  is 
nothing  like  it  in  the  whole  of  England  ;  no, 
nor  in  all  America  or  Australia.  A  duck 
will  not  always  dabble  in  the  same  gutter, 
but  they  will ;  for,  bless  your  heart,  they 
don't  think  it  a  gutter,  but  a  river,  if  not  an 
ocean.  They  must  ride  the  ridge  of  the 


106    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES, 

roof,  or  else  burn  the  house  down.  A  good 
many  people  love  their  dogs,  but  these  folks 
take  them  to  bed  with  them.  Other  farmers 
fat  the  calf,  but  they  fall  do\pn  and  worship 
it,  and  what  is  worse  they  quarrel  with 
everybody  who  does  not  think  as  much  of 
their  idol  as  they  do. 

It  will  be  a  long  while  before  all  men  be- 
come wise,  but  it  will  help  on  the  time  if  we 
begin  to  be  wise  ourselves.  Don't  let  us 
make  too  much  of  this  world  and  the  things 
of  it.  We  are  to  use  it  but  not  to  abuse  it ;  to 
live  in  it  but  not  for  it;  to  love  our  house 
but  not  to  ride  on  the  ridge.  Our  daily 
bread  and  daily  work  are  to  be  minded,  and 
yet  we  must  not  mind  earthly  things.  We 
must  not  let  the  body  send  the  soul  to  grass, 
rather  must  we  make  the  limbs  servants  to 
the  soul.  The  world  must  not  rule  us,  we 
must  reign  as  kings  though  we  are  only 
ploughmen  ;  and  stand  upright  even  if  the 
world  should  be  turned  upside  down. 


GREAT  DRINKERS  THINK  THEM- 
SELVES  GREAT  MEN. 


WONDERFUL   men   and  white    rats 
are   not  so   scarce  as  most  people 
think.     Folks  may  talk  as  they  like  about 
Mr.  Gladstone  and  Lord  Beaconsfield,  and 

(107) 


io8    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

that  sharp  gentleman  Bismarck,  but  Jack, 
and  Tom,  and  Harry,  and  scores  more  that 
I  know  of,  could  manage  their  business  for 
them  a  fine  sight  better ;  at  least,  they  think 
so,  and  are  quite  ready  to  try.  Great  men 
are  as  plentiful  as  mice  in  an  old  wheat- 
stack  down  our  way.  Every  parish  has 
one  or  two  wonderful  men;  indeed,  most 
public-houses  could  show  one  at  least,  and 
generally  two ;  and  I  have  heard  that  on 
Saturday  nights,  when  our  "  Blue  Dragon  " 
is  full,  there  may  be  seen  as  many  as  twenty 
of  the  greatest  men  in  all  the  world  in  the 
taproom,  all  making  themselves  greater  by 
the  help  of  pots  of  beer.  When  the  jug 
has  been  filled  and  emptied  a  good  many 
times,  the  blacksmith  feels  he  ought  to  be 
prime  minister ;  Styles,  the  carter,  sees  the 
way  to  take  ofT  all  the  taxes,  and  Old  Hob, 
the  rat-catcher,  roars  out — 

"They're  all  a  pack  of  fools, 
And  good-for-nothing  tools ; 
If  they'd  only  send  for  me, 
You'd  see  how  things  would  be." 

If  you  have  a  fancy  to  listen  to  these 
great  men  when  they  are  talking  you  need 


GREAT  PUBLIC-MEN.  109 

not  go  into  the  bar,  for  you  can  hear  them 
outside  the  house ;  they  generally  speak  four 
or  five  at  a  time,  and  every  one  in  a  Mitcham 
whisper,  which  is  very  like  a  shout.  What 
a  fine  flow  of  words  they  have !  There's 
no  end  to  it,  and  it's  a  pity  there  was  ever 
any  beginning,  for  there's  generally  a  mix 
up  of  foul  talk  with  their  politics,  and  this 
sets  them  all  roaring  with  laughter.  A  few 
evenings  in  such  company  would  poison  the 
mind  of  the  best  lad  in  the  parish.  I  am 
happy  to  say  that  these  great  men  have  to 
be  turned  out  at  ten  o'clock,  for  then  our 
public-house  closes ;  and  none  too  soon, 
I'm  sure. 

A  precious  little  is  enough  to  make  a 
man  famous  in  certain  companies ;  one  fel- 
low knocked  a  man's  eye  out  at  a  prize-fight ; 
another  stowed  away  twice  as  much  pud- 
ding as  four  pigs  could  have  disposed  of; 
another  stood  on  his  head  and  drank  a  glass 
of  beer ;  and  another  won  a  prize  by  grin- 
ning through  a  horse-collar ;  and  for  such 
things  as  these  the  sots  of  the  village  think 
mightily  of  them.  Little  things  please 
little  minds,  and  nasty  things  please  dirty 
minds.  If  I  were  one  of  these  wonderful 


1 10    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

fellows  I  would  ask  the  nearest  way  to  a 
place  where  nobody  would  know  me. 

Now  I  am  at  it,  I  will  notice  a  few  other 
wonderful  bodies  who  sometimes  conde- 
scend to  look  down  on  a  ploughman ;  but 
before  I  make  them  angry  I  would  give 
them  a  verse  from  one  of  my  old  uncle's 
songs,  which  I  have  shaped  a  bit. 

"  I  hope  none  will  be  offended  with  me  for  writing  this, 
For  it  is  not  intended  for  anything  amiss ; 
If  you  consider  kindly  my  remarks  you  will  allow, 
For  what  can  you  expect  from  one  whose  hand  is  on 
the  plough  ?  " 

I  used  to  feel  quite  staggered  when  I 
heard  of  an  amazing  clever  man,  but  I've 
got  used  to  it,  as  the  rook  did  to  the  scare- 
crow when  he  found  out  that  it  was  a  stuffed 
nothing.  Like  the  picture  which  looked 
best  a  very  long  distance  off,  so  do  most 
clever  fellows.  They  are  swans  a  mile  off, 
but  geese  when  you  get  near  them.  Some 
men  are  too  knowing  to  be  wise,  their  boiler 
bursts  because  they  have  more  steam  than 
they  can  use.  They  know  too  much,  and 
having  gone  over  the  top  of  the  ladder  they 
have  gone  down  on  the  other  side.  People 


GREAT  PUBLIC-MEN.  ill 

who  are  really  wise  never  think  themselves 
so  :  one  of  them  said  to  me  the  other  day, — 

"All  things  I  thought  I  knew ;  but  now  confess 
The  more  I  know  I  know  I  know  the  less." 

Simple  Simon  is  in  a  sad  plight  in  such  a 
world  as  this,  but  on  the  whole  he  gets  on 
better  than  a  fellow  who  is  too  clever  by 
half.  Every  mouse  had  need  have  its  eyes 
open  nowadays,  for  the  cats  are  very  many 
and  uncommonly  sharp ;  and  yet,  you  mark 
my  word,  most  of  the  mice  that  are  caught 
are  the  knowing  ones.  Somehow  or  other, 
in  an  ordinary  sort  of  a  world  like  this,  it 
does  not  answer  to  be  so  over  and  above 
clever.  Those  who  are  up  to  so  many 
dodges,  rind  the  dodges  come  down  on  them 
before  long.  My  neighbor  Hinks  was  much 
too  wise  a  man  to  follow  the  plough,  like 
poor  shallow-pated  John  Ploughman,  and 
so  he  took  to  scheming,  and  has  schemed 
himself  into  one  of  the  largest  mansions  in 
the  country,  where  he  will  be  provided  with 
oakum  to  pick  and  a  crank  to  turn  during 
the  next  six  calendar  months.  He  had 
better  have  been  a  fool,  for  his  cleverness  has 
cost  him  his  character. 


112    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

When  a  man  is  too  clever  to  tell  the 
truth  he  will  bring  himself  into  no  end  of 
trouble  before  long.  When  he  is  too  clever 
to  stick  to  his  trade,  he  is  like  the  dog  that 
let  the  meat  fall  into  the  water  through  try- 
ing to  catch  at  its  shadow.  Clever  Jack 
can  do  everything  and  can  do  nothing.  He 
intends  to  be  rich  all  at  once,  and  despises 
small  gains,  and  therefore  is  likely  to  die  a 
beggar.  When  puffing  is  trusted  and  hon- 
est trading  is  scoffed  at,  time  will  not  take 
long  to  wind  up  the  concern.  Work  is  as 
needful  now  as  ever  it  was  if  a  man  would 
thrive ;  catching  birds  by  putting  salt  on 
their  tails  would  be  all  very  well,  but  the 
creatures  will  not  hold  their  tails  still,  and 
so  we  had  better  catch  them  in  the  usual 
way.  The  greatest  trick  for  getting  on  in 
business  is  to  work  hard  and  to  live  hard. 
There's  no  making  bread  without  flour,  nor 
building  houses  without  labor.  I  know  the 
old  saying  is — 

"  No  more  mortar,  no  more  brick, 
A  cunning  knave  has  a  cunning  trick ;  " 

but  for  all  that  things  go  on  much  the  same 
as  ever,  and  bricks  and  mortar  are  still 
wanted. 


TOO    CLEVER  BY  HALF.  113 

I  see  in  the  papers,  every  now  and  then, 
that  some  of  the  clever  gentlemen  who 
blow  up  bubble  companies  are  pulled  up 
before  the  courts.  Serve  them  right !  May 
they  go  where  my  neighbor  Hinks  is,  every 
one  of  them.  How  many  a  poor  trades- 
man is  over  head  and  ears  in  difficulty 
through  them !  I  hope  in  future  all  men 
will  fight  shy  of  these  fine  companies,  and 
swell  managers,  and  very  clever  men.  Men 
are  neither  suddenly  rich  nor  suddenly  good. 
It  is  all  a  bag  of  moonshine  when  a  man 
would  persuade  you  that  he  knows  a  way 
of  earning  money  by  winking  your  eye. 
We  have  all  heard  of  the  scheme  for  mak- 
ing deal  boards  out  of  sawdust,  and  getting 
butter  out  of  mud,  but  we  mean  to  go  on 
with  the  saw-mill,  and  keep  on  milking  the 
cows;  for  between  you  and  me  and  the 
blind  mare,  we  have  a  notion  that  the  plans 
of  idiots  and  very  clever  men  are  as  like  as 
two  peas  in  a  shell. 

The  worst  sort  of  clever  men  are  those 
who  know  better  than  the  Bible  and  are  so 
learned  that  they  believe  that  the  world  had 
no  Maker,  and  that  men  are  only  monkeys 
with  their  tails  rubbed  off.  Dear,  dear  me, 
8 


114    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

this  is  the  sort  of  talk  we  used  to  expect 
from  Tom  of  Bedlam,  but  now  we  get  it 
from  clever  men.  If  things  go  on  in  this 
fashion  a  poor  ploughman  will  not  be  able 
to  tell  which  is  the  lunatic  and  which  is  the 
philosopher.  As  for  me,  the  old  Book 
seems  to  be  a  deal  easier  to  believe  than  the 
new  notions,  and  I  mean  to  keep  to  it.  Many 
a  drop  of  good  broth  is  made  in  an  old  pot, 
and  many  a  sweet  comfort  comes  out  of  the 
old  doctrine.  Many  a  dog  has  died  since  I 
first  opened  my  eyes,  and  every  one  of  these 
dogs  has  had  his  day,  but  in  all  the  days 
put  together  they  have  never  hunted  out  a 
real  fault  in  the  Bible,  nor  started  anything 
better  in  its  place.  They  may  be  very  clever, 
but  they  will  not  find  a  surer  truth  than  that 
which  God  teaches,  nor  a  better  salvation 
than  that  which  Jesus  brings,  and  so  finding 
my  very  life  in  the  gospel  I  mean  to  live  in 
it,  and  so  ends  this  chapter. 


TWO   DOGS   FIGHT   FOR  A  BONE, 

AND  A  THIRD  RUNS  AWAY 

WITH  IT. 


W 


E   have   all   heard  of  the  two    men 
who  quarrelled  over  an  oyster,  and 

(us) 


Ii6    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN^  S  PICTURES. 

called  in  a  judge  to  settle  the  question :  he 
ate  the  oyster  himself,  and  gave  them  a 
shell  each.  This  reminds  me  of  the  story 
of  the  cow  which  two  farmers  could  not 
agree  about,  and  so  the  lawyers  stepped  in 
and  milked  the  cow  for  them,  and  charged 
them  for  their  trouble  in  drinking  the  milk. 
Little  is  got  by  law,  but  much  is  lost  by  it. 
A  suit  in  law  may  last  longer  than  any  suit 
a  tailor  can  make  you,  and  you  may  your- 
self be  worn  out  before  it  comes  to  an  end. 
It  is  better  far  to  make  matters  up  and  keep 
out  of  court,  for  if  you  are  caught  there  you 
are  caught  in  the  brambles,  and  won't  get 
out  without  damage.  John  Ploughman  feels 
a  cold  sweat  at  the  thought  of  getting  into 
the  hands  of  lawyers.  He  does  not  mind 
going  to  Jericho,  but  he  dreads  the  gentle- 
men on  the  road,  for  they  seldom  leave  a 
feather  upon  any  goose  which  they  pick  up. 
However,  if  men  will  fight  they  must  not 
blame  the  lawyers;  if  law  were  cheaper, 
quarrelsome  people  would  have  more  of  it, 
and  quite  as  much  would  be  spent  in  the 
long  run.  Sometimes,  however,  we  get 
dragged  into  court  willy  nilly,  and  then  one 
had  need  be  wise  as  a  serpent  and  harmless 


LITTLE  IS   GAINED  BY  LAW.         117 

as  a  dove.  Happy  is  he  who  finds  an  honest 
lawyer,  and  does  not  try  to  be  his  own  cli- 
ent. A  good  lawyer  always  tries  to  keep 
people  out  of  law ;  but  some  clients  are  like 
moths  with  the  candle,  they  must  and  will 
burn  themselves.  He  who  is  so  wise  that 
he  cannot  be  taught  will  have  to  pay  for 
his  pride. 

Let  dogs  delight  to  bark  and  bite, 

And  lose  the  marrow  bone  ; 
Let  bears  and  lions  growl  and  fight, 

I'll  let  the  law  alone. 

To  suffer  wrong  is  surely  sad, 

But  law-suits  are  in  vain ; 
To  throw  good  money  after  bad 

Will  but  increase  my  pain. 


HE   LIVES   UNDER   THE   SIGN   OF 
THE  CAT'S  FOOT. 


THE   question   was  once  asked,  When 
should  a  man  marry  ?  and  the  merry 
answer  was,  that  for  young  men  it  is  too 
soon  and  for  old  men  it  is  too  late.     This  is 
(118) 


THE   CAT'S  FOOT.  119 

all  very  fine,  but  it  will  not  wash.  Both  the 
wisdom  and  the  folly  of  men  seem  banded 
together  to  make  a  mock  of  this  doctrine. 
Men  are  such  fools  that  they  must  and  will 
marry  even  if  they  marry  fools.  It  is  wise 
to  marry  when  we  can  marry  wisely,  and 
then  the  sooner  the  better.  How  many 
show  their  sense  in  choosing  a  partner  it  is 
not  for  me  to  say,  but  I  fear  that  in  many 
cases  love  is  blind,  and  makes  a  very  blind 
choice.  I  don't  suppose  that  some  people 
would  ever  get  married  at  all  if  love  had  its 
wits  about  it.  It  is  a  mystery  how  certain 
parties  ever  found  partners ;  truly  there's 
no  accounting  for  tastes.  However,  as  they 
make  their  bed  they  must  lie  on  it,  and  as 
they  tie  the  knot  they  must  be  tied  by  it. 
If  a  man  catches  a  tartar,  or  lets  a  tartar 
catch  him,  he  must  take  his  dose  of  tartaric 
acid,  and  make  as  few  ugly  faces  as  he  can. 
If  a  three-legged  stool  come  flying  through 
the  air,  he  must  be  thankful  for  such  a  plain 
token  of  love  from  the  woman  of  his  choice, 
and  the  best  thing  he  can  do  is  to  sit  down 
on  it,  and  wait  for  the  next  little  article. 

When  it  is  said  of  a  man,  "  He  lives  un- 
der the  sign  of  the  cat's  foot/'  he  must  try 


120    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

and  please  his  pussy  that  she  may  not 
scratch  him  more  than  such  cats  generally 
do.  A  good  husband  will  generally  have 
a  good  wife,  or  make  a  bad  wife  better. 
Bad  Jack  makes  a  great  noise  about  bad 
Jill,  but  there's  generally  twenty  of  one 
where  there's  a  score  of  the  other.  They 
say  a  burden  of  one's  own  choosing  is  never 
felt  to  be  heavy,  but  I  don't  know,  some 
men  are  loaded  with  mischief  as  soon  as 
they  have  a  wife  to  carry.  Yet 

A  good  woman  is  worth,  if  she  were  sold, 
The  fairest  crown  that's  made  of  gold. 

She  is  a  pleasure,  a  treasure,  and  a  joy  with- 
out measure.  A  good  wife  and  health  are 
a  man's  best  wealth  ;  and  he  who  is  in  such 
a  case  should  envy  no  man's  place.  Even 
when  a  woman  is  a  little  tart  it  is  better 
than  if  she  had  no  spirit,  and  made  her 
house  into  a  dirt  pie.  A  shrew  is  better 
than  a  slut,  though  one  can  be  quite  miser- 
able enough  with  either,  If  she  is  a  good 
housewife,  and  looks  well  after  the  children, 
one  may  put  up  with  a  Caudle  lecture  now 
and  then,  though  a  cordial  lecture  would  be  a 
deal  better.  A  husband  is  in  a  pickle  in- 


THE   CAT'S  FOOT.  121 

deed  if  he  gets  tied  up  to  a  regular  scold ; 
he  might  as  well  be  skinned  and  set  up  to 
his  neck  in  a  tub  of  brine.  Did  you  ever 
hear  the  scold's  song  ?  Read  it,  you  young 
folks  who  think  of  committing  matrimony, 
and  think  twice  before  you  get  married 
once. 

When  in  the  morn  I  ope  mine  eyes, 

To  entertain  the  day, 
Before  my  husband  e'en  can  rise, 

I  scold  him — then  I  pray. 

When  I  at  table  take  my  place, 

Whatever  be  the  meat, 
I  first  do  scold — and  then  say  grace, 

If  so  disposed  to  eat. 

Too  fat,  too  lean,  too  hot,  too  cold, 

I  always  do  complain; 
Too  raw,  too  roast,  too  young,  too 

Faults  I  will  find  or  feign. 

Let  it  be  flesh,  or  fowl,  or  fish, 

It  never  shall  be  said, 
But  I'll  find  fault  with  meat  or  dish, 

With  master,  or  with  maid. 

But  when  I  go  to  bed  at  night 

I  heartily  do  weep, 
That  I  must  part  with  my  delight— 

I  cannot  scold  and  sleep. 


122      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

However,  this  doth  mitigate 

And  much  abate  my  sorrow, 
That  though  to-night  it  be  too  late, 

I'll  early  scold  to-morrow. 

When  the  husband  is  not  a  man  it  is  not 
to  be  wondered  at  if  the  wife  wears  the 
top-boots :  the  mare  may  well  be  the  best 
horse  when  the  other  horse  is  a  donkey. 
Well  may  a  woman  feel  that  she  is  lord  and 
master  when  she  has  to  earn  the  living 
for  the  family,  as  is  sometimes  the  case. 
She  ought  not  to  be  the  head,  but  if  she 
has  all  the  brains,  what  is  she  to  do  ?  What 
poor  dawdles  many  men  would  be  without 
their  wives  !  As  poor  softy  Simpkins  says, 
if  Bill's  wife  becomes  a  widow  who  will  cut 
the  pudding  up  for  him,  and  will  there  be  a 
pudding  at  all  ?  It  is  grand  when  the  wife 
knows  her  place,  and  keeps  it,  and  they 
both  pull  together  in  everything.  Then  she 
is  a  helpmeet  indeed  and  makes  the  house 
a  home.  Old  friend  Tusser  says, 

"  When  husband  is  absent  let  housewife  be  chief, 
And  look  to  their  labor  who  live  from  their  sheaf, 
The  housewife's  so  named  for  she  keepeth  the  house, 
And  must  tend  on  her  profit  as  cat  on  a  mouse." 

He  is  very  pat  upon  it  that  much  of  house- 


"SARVES  HIM  RIGHT."  123 

hold  affairs  must  rest  on  the  wife,  and  he 
writes, — 

"  Both  out,  not  allow, 
Keep  home,  housewife  thou." 

Like  the  old  man  and  woman  in  the  toy 
which  shows  the  weather,  one  must  be  sure 
to  be  in  if  the  other  goes  out.  When  the 
king  is  abroad  the  queen  must  reign  at 
home,  and  when  he  returns  to  his  throne  he 
is  bound  to  look  upon  her  as  his  crown, 
and  prize  her  above  gold  and  jewels.  He 
should  feel  "  if  there's  only  one  good  wife 
in  the  whole  world,  I've  got  her."  John 
Ploughman  has  long  thought  just  that  of 
his  own  wife,  and  after  five-and-twenty 
years  he  is  more  sure  of  it  than  ever.  He 
never  bets,  but  he  would  not  mind  wager- 
ing a  farthing  cake  that  there  is  not  a  better 
woman  on  the  surface  of  the  globe  than  his 
own,  very  own  beloved.  Happy  is  the  man 
who  is  happy  in  his  wife.  Let  him  love  her 
as  he  loves  himself,  and  a  little  better,  for 
she  is  his  better  half. 

Thank  God  that  hath  so  blest  thee, 
And  sit  down,  John,  and  rest  thee. 

There  is  one  case  in  which  I  don't  wonder 


124     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

if  the  wife  does  put  her  mate  under  the 
cat's  foot,  and  that  is  when  he  slinks  off  to 
the  public,  and  wastes  his  wages.  Even 
then  love  and  gentleness  is  the  best  way  of 
getting  him  home  ;  but,  really,  some  topers 
have  no  feeling,  and  laugh  at  kindness,  and 
therefore  nobody  can  be  surprised  if  the  poor 
wife  bristles  up  and  gives  her  lord  and  mas- 
ter a  taste  of  tongue.  Nothing  tries  mar- 
ried love  more  than  the  pot-house.  Wages 
wasted,  wife  neglected,  children  in  rags: 
if  she  gives  it  him  hot  and  strong  who  can 
blame  her  ?  Pitch  into  him,  good  woman, 
and  make  him  ashamed  of  himself,  if  you 
can.  No  wonder  that  you  lead  a  cat  and 
dog  life  while  he  is  such  a  sorry  dog. 

Still,  you  may  as  well  go  home  and  set 
him  a  better  example,  for  two  blacks  will 
never  make  a  white,  and  if  you  put  him  in 
hot  water  he's  sure  to  get  some  spirits  to 
mix  with  it. 


HE  WOULD    PUT   HIS    FINGER   IN 

THE  PIE,  AND  SO  HE  BURNT 

HIS  NAIL  OFF. 


SOME  men  must  have  a  finger  in  every 
pie,  or,  as  the  proverb  hath  it,  "  their 

(125) 


126    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

oar  must  be  in  every  man's  boat."  They 
seem  to  have  no  business  except  to  poke 
their  noses  into  other  people's  business: 
they  ought  to  have  snub  noses,  for  they  are 
pretty  sure  to  be  snubbed.  Prying  and  spy- 
ing, peddling  and  meddling,  these  folks  are 
in  everybody's  way,  like  the  old  toll-gate. 
They  come  without  being  sent  for,  stop  with- 
out being  asked,  and  cannot  be  got  rid  of, 
unless  you  take  them  by  the  left  leg  and 
throw  them  down  stairs,  and  if  you  do  that 
they  will  limp  up  again,  and  hope  they  don't 
intrude.  No  one  pays  them,  and  yet  they 
give  advice  more  often  than  any  lawyer; 
and  though  no  one  ever  thanks  them,  yet 
there  they  are,  peeping  through  keyholes 
and  listening  under  the  eaves.  They  are 
as  great  at  asking  questions  as  if  they 
wanted  you  to  say  the  catechism,  and  as 
eager  to  give  their  opinion  as  if  you  had 
gone  down  on  your  knees  to  ask  it. 

These  folks  are  like  dogs  that  fetch  and 
carry ;  they  run  all  over  the  place  like  star- 
lings when  they  are  feeding  their  young. 
They  make  much  ado,  but  never  do  much, 
unless  it  is  mischief,  and  at  this  they  are  as 
apt  as  jackdaws.  If  any  man  has  such 


MIND   YOUR  OWN  BUSINESS.         127 

people  for  his  acquaintances,  he  may  well 
say,  "  Save  me  from  my  friends." 

I  know  your  assistance  you'll  lend, 
When  I  want  it  I'll  speedily  send ; 
You  need  not  be  making  such  stir, 
But  mind  your  own  business,  good  sir. 

It  is  of  no  more  use  than  if  we  spoke  to 
the  pigs,  for  here  is  Paul  Pry  again.  Paul 
and  his  cousins  are  most  offensive  people, 
but  you  cannot  offend  them  if  you  try. 

Well  do  I  remember  the  words  of  a  wise 
old  Quaker :— " John/'  said  he,  "be  not 
concerned  with  that  which  concerns  not 
thee."  This  taught  me  a  lesson,  and  I 
made  up  my  mind  not  to  scrub  other  peo- 
ple's pigs  for  fear  I  should  soon  want  scrub- 
bing myself.  There  is  a  woman  in  our 
village  who  finds  fault  with  all,  and  all  find 
fault  with  her ;  they  say  her  teeth  are  all 
loose  through  her  tongue  rubbing  against 
them ;  if  she  could  but  hold  her  tongue  she 
would  be  happy  enough,  but  that's  the  diffi- 
culty— 

*'  When  hens  fall  a  cackling  take  heed  to  the  nest, 
When  drabs  fall  a  whispering  farewell  to  thy  rest." 


128    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

Will  Shepherd  was  sitting  very  quiet  while 
others  were  running  down  their  neighbors. 
At  last  a  loose  fellow  sung  out  "  Look  at 
Old  Will,  he  is  as  silent  as  a  stock-fish; 
is  it  because  he  is  wise  or  because  he  is  a 
fool  ?"  "  Well,"  said  Will,  "you  may  set- 
tle that  question  how  you  like,  but  I  have 
been  told  that  a  fool  cannot  be  silent." 
Will  is  set  down  as  very  odd,  but  he  is  gen- 
erally even  with  them  before  he  has  done. 
One  thing  is  sure,  he  cares  very  little  what 
they  do  say  so  long  as  they  don't  worry 
his  sheep.  He  hummed  in  my  ear  an  old- 
fashioned  verse  or  two  the  other  evening, 
something  like  this — 

"  Since  folks  will  judge  me  every  day, 
Let  every  man  his  judgment  say; 
I  will  take  it  all  as  children's  play, 
For  I  am  as  I  am,  whoever  say  nay. 

Many  there  be  that  take  delight 
To  judge  a  man's  ways  in  envy  and  spite ; 
But  whether  they  judge  me  wrong  or  right, 
I  am  as  I  am,  and  so  do  I  write. 

How  the  truth  is  I  leave  to  you ; 
Judge  as  ye  list,  whether  false  or  true. 
Ye  know  no  more  than  before  ye  knew, 
For  I  am  as  I  am  whatever  ensue." 


MIND   YOUR    OWN  BUSINESS.         129 

If  folks  will  meddle  with  our  business  it 
is  best  to  take  no  notice  of  them ;  there's  no 
putting  them  out  like  letting  them  stop 
where  they  are ;  they  are  never  so  offended 
as  when  people  neither  offend  them  nor  take 
offence  at  them.  You  might  as  soon  stop 
all  the  frogs  from  croaking  as  quiet  idle 
gossips  when  they  once  get  on  the  chat. 
Stuff  your  ear  with  wool  and  let  them  jab- 
ber till  their  tongue  lies  still,  because  they 
have  worn  all  the  skin  off  of  it.  "  Where 
no  wood  is  the  fire  goeth  out,"  and  if 
you  don't  answer  them  they  can't  make  a 
blaze  for  want  of  fuel.  Treat  them  kindly, 
but  don't  give  them  the  treat  of  quarrelling 
with  them.  Follow  peace  with  all  men, 
even  if  you  cannot  overtake  it. 


YOU  CANT  CATCH  THE  WIND  IN 
A   NET. 


SOME  people  get  windmills  in  their  heads, 
and  go  in  for  all  sorts  of  silly  things. 
They   talk   of  ruling  the  nation  as  if  men 
were  to    be   driven   like  sheep,  and    they 
(130) 


YOU  CAN*  T  CA  TCH  THE  WIND  IN  A  NET.  131 

prate  of  reforms  and  systems  as  if  they  could 
cut  out  a  world  in  brown  paper,  with  a  pair 
of  scissors.  Such  a  body  thinks  himself 
very  deep,  but  he  is  as  shallow  as  a  milk-pan. 
You  can  soon  know  him  as  well  as  if  you 
had  gone  through  him  with  a  lighted  candle, 
and  yet  you  will  not  know  a  great  deal  after 
all.  He  has  a  great  head,  and  very  little  in 
it.  He  can  talk  by  the  dozen,  or  the  gross, 
and  say  nothing.  When  he  is  fussing  and 
boasting  of  his  fine  doings  you  soon  dis- 
cover that  he  makes  a  long  harvest  of 
very  little  corn.  His  tongue  is  like  a  pig's 
tail,  going  all  day  long  and  nothing  done. 

This  is  the  man  who  can  pay  off  the 
National  Debt,  and  yet,  in  his  little  shop,  he 
sells  two  apples  in  three  days :  he  has  the 
secret  of  high  farming,  and  loses  more  at  it 
than  any  man  in  the  county.  The  more  he 
studies  the  more  he  misses  the  mark ;  he 
reminds  me  of  a  blind  man  on  a  blind  horse, 
who  rode  out  in  the  middle  of  a  dark  night, 
and  the  more  he  tried  to  keep  out  of  ditches 
the  more  he  fell  in. 

When  they  catch  live  red  herrings  on 
Newmarket  heath  he  will  bring  out  a  good 
thing,  and  line  his  pockets  with  gold  ;  up 


132    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

till  now,  he  says,  he  has  been  unlucky,  and 
he  believes  that  if  he  were  to  make  a  man 
a  coffin  he  would  be  sure  not  to  die.  He  is 
going  to  be  rich  next  year,  and  you  will 
then  see  what  you  shall  see:  just  now  he 
would  be  glad  of  half-a-crown  on  account, 
for  which  he  will  give  you  a  share  in  his  in- 
vention for  growing  wheat  without  plough- 
ing or  sowing. 

It  is  odd  to  see  this  wise  man  at  times 
when  his  wits  are  all  up  in  the  moon :  he  is 
just  like  Chang,  the  Chinaman,  who  said, 
"  Here's  my  umbrella,  and  here's  my  bundle, 
but  where  am  I?"  He  cannot  find  his 
spectacles  though  he  is  looking  through 
them  ;  and  when  he  is  out  riding  on  his  own 
ass,  he  pulls  up  and  says,  "  Wherever  is 
that  donkey  ?  " 

I  have  heard  of  one  learned  man  who 
boiled  his  watch  and  stood  looking  at  the 
egg,  and  another  who  forgot  that  he  was  to 
be  married  that  day,  and  would  have  lost 
his  lady  if  his  friend  had  not  fetched  him 
out  of  his  study.  Think  of  that,  my  boy, 
and  don't  fret  yourself  because  you  are  not 
so  overdone  with  learning  as  to  have  for- 
gotten your  common  sense. 


YOU  CAN1  TCA  TCH  THE  WIND  IN  A  NET.  133 

The  regular  wind-catcher  is  soft  as  silk 
and  as  green  as  grass,  and  yet  he  thinks 
himself  very  long-headed ;  and  so  indeed 
he  would  be  if  his  ears  were  taken  into 
the  measurement.  He  is  going  to  do — 
well — there's  no  telling  what.  He  is  full 
of  wishes  but  short  of  will,  and  so  his  buds 
never  come  to  flowers  or  fruit.  He  is  like 
a  hen  that  lays  eggs,  and  never  sits  on  them 
long  enough  to  hatch  a  single  chick. 

Moonshine  is  the  article  our  friend  deals 
in,  and  it  is  wonderful  what  he  can  see  by  it. 
He  cries  up  his  schemes,  and  it  is  said  that 
he  draws  on  his  imagination  for  his  facts. 
When  he  is  in  full  swing  with  one  of  his 
notions,  he  does  not  stick  at  a  trifle.  Will 
Shepherd  heard  one  of  these  gentry  the 
other  day  telling  how  his  new  company 
would  lead  all  the  shareholders  on  to  Tom 
Tiddler's  ground  to  pick  up  gold  and  silver ; 
and  when  all  the  talk  was  over,  Will  said  to 
me,  "  That's  a  lie,  with  a  lid  on,  and  a  brass 
handle  to  take  hold  of  it."  Rather  sharp 
this  of  Will,  for  I  do  believe  the  man  was 
caught  on  his  own  hook  and  believed  in  his 
own  dreams ;  yet  I  did  not  like  him,  for  he 
wanted  us  poor  fellows  to  put  our  little  sav- 


134    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

ings  into  his  hands,  as  if  we  could  afford 
to  fly  kites  with  laborers'  wages. 

What  a  many  good  people  there  are  who 
have  religious  crazes !  They  do  nothing, 
but  they  have  wonderful  plans  for  doing 
everything  in  a  jiffy.  So  many  thousand 
people  are  to  give  half-a-crown  each,  and 
so  many  more  a  crown,  and  so  many  more 
a  sovereign,  and  the  meeting-house  is  to  be 
built  just  so,  and  no  how  else.  The  mischief 
is  that  the  thousands  of  people  do  not  rush 
forward  with  their  money,  and  the  minister 
and  a  few  hard-working  friends  have  to  get 
it  together  little  by  little  in  the  old-fashioned 
style,  while  your  wonderful  schemer  slinks 
out  of  the  way  and  gives  nothing.  I  have 
long  ago  found  out  that  pretty  things  on 
paper  had  better  be  kept  there.  Our  master's 
eldest  son  had  a  plan  for  growing  plum-trees 
in  our  hedges  as  they  do  in  Kent,  but  he 
never  looked  to  see  whether  the  soil  would 
suit,  and  so  he  lost  the  trees  which  he  put 
in,  and  there  was  an  end  of  his  damsons. 

"  Circumstances  alter  cases  ; 
Different  ways  suit  different  places." 

New  brooms  sweep  clean,  but  they  mostly 


YOU CAN^T CATCH  THE  WIND  IN  A  NET.  135 

sweep  up  dirt.  Plough  with  what  you  please, 
I  stick  to  the  old  horses  which  have  served 
me  so  well.  Fine  schemes  come  to  nothing ; 
it  is  hard  work  that  does  it,  whether  it  be 
in  the  world  or  in  the  church. 

"  In  the  laborious  husbandman  you  see 
What  all  true  Christians  are  or  ought  to  be." 


BEWARE  OF  THE  DOG. 


JOHN  PLOUGHMAN   did   not   in    his 
first  book  weary  his  friends  by  preach- 
ing, but  in  this  one  he  makes  bold  to  try 
his  hand  at  a  sermon,  and  hopes  he  will  be  ex- 
(136) 


BEWARE   OF  THE  DOG.  137 

cused  if  it  should  prove  to  be  only  a  plough- 
man's preachment. 

If  this  were  a  regular  sermon  preached 
from  a  pulpit  of  course  I  should  make  it 
long  and  dismal,  like  a  winter's  night,  for 
fear  people  should  call  me  eccentric.  As  it 
is  only  meant  to  be  read  at  home,  I  will 
make  it  short,  though  it  will  not  be  sweet, 
for  I  have  not  a  sweet  subject.  The  text 
is  one  which  has  a  great  deal  of  meaning  in 
it,  and  is  to  be  read  on  many  a  wall.  "  BE- 
WARE OF  THE  DOG."  You  know  what  dogs 
are,  and  you  know  how  you  beware  of  them 
when  a  bull-dog  flies  at  you  to  the  full 
length  of  his  chain ;  so  the  words  don't 
want  any  clearing  up. 

It  is  very  odd  that  the  Bible  never  says  a 
good  word  for  dogs :  I  suppose  the  breed 
must  have  been  bad  in  those  eastern  parts, 
or  else,  as  our  minister  tells  me,  they  were 
nearly  wild,  had  no  master  in  particular, 
and  were  left  to  prowl  about  half  starved. 
No  doubt  a  dog  is  very  like  a  man,  and  be- 
comes a  sad  dog  when  he  has  himself  for  a 
master.  We  are  all  the  better  for  having 
somebody  to  look  up  to;  and  those  who 


138    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

say  they  care  for  nobody  and  nobody  cares 
for  them  are  dogs  of  the  worst  breed,  and, 
for  a  certain  reason,  are  never  likely  to  be 
drowned. 

Dear  friends,  I  shall  have  heads  and  tails 
like  other  parsons,  and  I  am  sure  I  have  a 
right  to  them,  for  they  are  found  in  the  sub- 
jects before  us. 

Firstly,  let  us  beware  of  a  dirty  dog — or 
as  the  grand  old  Book  calls  them,  "evil 
workers  " — those  who  love  filth  and  roll  in 
it.  Dirty  dogs  will  spoil  your  clothes,  and 
make  you  as  foul  as  themselves.  A  man  is 
known  by  his  company ;  if  you  go  with 
loose  fellows  your  character  will  be  tarred 
with  the  same  brush  as  theirs.  People  can't 
be  very  nice  in  their  distinctions;  if  they 
see  a  bird  always  flying  with  the  crows, 
and  feeding  and  nesting  with  them,  they 
call  it  a  crow,  and  ninety-nine  times  out  of 
a  hundred  they  are  right.  If  you  are  fond 
of  the  kennel,  and  like  to  run  with  the 
hounds,  you  will  never  make  the  world  be- 
lieve that  you  are  a  pet  lamb.  Besides,  bad 
company  does  a  man  real  harm,  for,  as  the 
old  proverb  has  it,  if  you  lie  down  with  dogs 
you  will  get  up  with  fleas. 


BEWARE   OF  THE  DOG.  139 

You  cannot  keep  too  far  off  a  man  with 
the  fever  and  a  man  of  wicked  life.  If  a 
lady  in  a  fine  dress  sees  a  big  dog  come  out 
of  a  horse-pond,  and  run  about  shaking  him- 
self dry,  she  is  very  particular  to  keep  out 
of  his  way,  and  from  this  we  may  learn  a 
lesson, — when  we  see  a  man  half  gone  in 
liquor,  sprinkling  his  dirty  talk  all  around 
him,  our  best  place  is  half-a-mile  off  at  the 
least. 

Secondly,  beware  of  all  snarling  dogs. 
There  are  plenty  of  these  about ;  they  are 
generally  very  small  creatures,  but  they  more 
than  make  up  for  their  size  by  their  noise. 
They  yap  and  snap  without  end.  Dr.  Watts 
said — 

"  Let  dogs  delight  to  bark  and  bite, 
For  God  has  made  them  so." 

But  I  cannot  make  such  an  excuse  for  the 
two-legged  dogs  I  am  writing  about,  for 
their  own  vile  tempers,  and  the  devil  to- 
gether, have  made  them  what  they  are.  They 
find  fault  with  anything  and  everything. 
When  they  dare  they  howl,  and  when  they 
cannot  do  that  they  lie  down  and  growl  in- 
wardly. Beware  of  these  creatures.  Make 
no  friends  with  an  angry  man :  as  well  make 


140    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

a  bed  of  stinging  nettles  or  wear  a  viper  for 
a  necklace.  Perhaps  the  fellow  is  just  now 
very  fond  of  you,  but  beware  of  him,  for  he 
who  barks  at  others  to-day  without  a  cause 
will  one  day  howl  at  you  for  nothing. 
Don't  offer  him  a  kennel  down  your  yard 
unless  he  will  let  you  chain  him  up.  When 
you  see  that  a  man  has  a  bitter  spirit,  and 
gives  nobody  a  good  word,  quietly  walk 
away  and  keep  out  of  his  track  if  you  can. 
Loaded  guns  and  quick  tempered  people 
are  dangerous  pieces  of  furniture ;  they  don't 
mean  any  hurt,  but  they  are  apt  to  go  off 
and  do  mischief  before  you  dream  of  it. 
Better  go  a  mile  out  of  your  way  than  get 
into  a  fight ;  better  sit  down  on  a  dozen  tin- 
tacks  with  their  points  up  than  dispute  with 
an  angry  neighbor. 

Thirdly,  beware  of  fawning  dogs.  They 
jump  up  upon  you  and  leave  the  marks  of 
their  dirty  paws.  How  they  will  lick  your 
hand  and  fondle  you  as  long  as  there  are 
bones  to  be  got :  like  the  lover  who  said 
to  the  cook,  "  Leave  you,  dear  girl  ?  Never, 
while  you  have  a  shilling."  Too  much 
sugar  in  the  talk  should  lead  us  to  suspect 
that  there  is  very  little  in  the  heart.  The 


BEWARE    OF  THE  DOG.  141 

moment  a  man  praises  you  to  your  face, 
mark  him,  for  he  is  the  very  gentleman  to 
rail  at  you  behind  your  back.  If  a  fellow 
takes  the  trouble  to  flatter  he  expects  to 
be  paid  for  it,  and  he  calculates  that  he 
will  get  his  wages  out  of  the  soft  brains  of 
those  he  tickles.  When  people  stoop  down 
it  generally  is  to  pick  something  up, 
and  men  don't  stoop  to  flatter  you  unless 
they  reckon  upon  getting  something  out  of 
you.  When  you  see  too  much  politeness 
you  may  generally  smell  a  rat  if  you  give 
a  good  sniff.  Young  people  need  to  be  on 
the  watch  against  crafty  flatterers.  Young 
women  with  pretty  faces  and  a  little  money 
should  especially  beware  of  puppies  ! 

Fourthly,  beware  of  a  greedy  dog,  or  a 
man  who  never  has  enough.  Grumbling  is 
catching  ;  one  discontented  man  sets  others 
complaining,  and  this  is  a  bad  state  of  mind 
to  fall  into.  Folks  who  are  greedy  are  not 
always  honest,  and  if  they  see  a  chance  they 
will  put  their  spoon  into  their  neighbor's 
porridge ;  why  not  into  yours  ?  See  how 
cleverly  they  skin  a  flint ;  before  long  you 
will  find  them  skinning  you,  and  as  you  are 
not  quite  so  used  to  it  as  the  eels  are,  you 


142    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

had  better  give  Mr.  Skinner  a  wide  berth. 
When  a  man  boasts  that  he  never  gives  any- 
thing away,  you  may  read  it  as  a  caution — 
"beware  of  the  dog."  A  liberal,  kind- 
hearted  friend  helps  you  to  keep  down  your 
selfishness,  but  a  greedy  grasper  tempts  you 
to  put  an  extra  button  on  your  pocket. 
Hungry  dogs  will  wolf  down  any  quantity 
of  meat,  and  then  look  out  for  more,  and  so 
will  greedy  men  swallow  farms  and  houses, 
and  then  smell  around  for  something  else. 
I  am  sick  of  the  animals :  I  mean  both  the 
dogs  and  men.  Talking  of  nothing  but 
gold,  and  how  to  make  money,  and  how  to 
save  it — why  one  had  better  live  with  the 
hounds  at  once,  and  howl  over  your  share 
of  dead  horse.  The  mischief  a  miserly 
wretch  may  do  to  a  man's  heart  no  tongue 
can  tell ;  one  might  as  well  be  bitten  by  a 
mad  dog,  for  greediness  is  as  bad  a  madness 
as  a  mortal  can  be  tormented  with.  Keep 
out  of  the  company  of  screw-drivers,  tight- 
fists,  hold-fasts,  and  blood-suckers :  "  beware 
of  dogs." 

Fifthly,  beware  of  a  yelping  dog.  Those 
who  talk  much  tell  a  great  many  lies,  and  if 
you  love  truth  you  had  better  not  love  them. 


BEWARE    OF  THE   DOG.  143 

Those  who  talk  much  are  likely  enough  to 
speak  ill  of  their  neighbors,  and  of  yourself 
among  the  rest ;  and  therefore,  if  you  do 
not  want  to  be  town-talk,  you  will  be  wise 
to  find  other  friends.  Mr.  Prate-apace  will 
weary  you  out  one  day,  and  you  will  be 
wise  to  break  off  his  acquaintance  before  it 
is  made.  Do  not  lodge  in  Clack  Street, 
nor  next  door  to  the  Gossip's  Head.  A 
lion's  jaw  is  nothing  compared  to  a  tale- 
bearer's. If  you  have  a  dog  which  is 
always  barking,  and  should  chance  to  lose 
him,  don't  spend  a  penny  in  advertising  for 
him.  Few  are  the  blessings  which  are 
poured  upon  dogs  which  howl  all  night  and 
wake  up  honest  householders,  but  even 
these  can  be  better  put  up  with  than  those 
incessant  chatterers  who  never  let  a  man's 
character  rest  either  day  or  night. 

Sixthly,  beware  of  a  dog  that  ^vorr^es  the 
sheep.  Such  get  into  our  churches,  and  cause 
a  world  of  misery.  Some  have  new  doc- 
trines as  rotten  as  they  are  new ;  others 
have  new  plans,  whims,  and  crotchets,  and 
nothing  will  go  right  till  these  are  tried ; 
and  there  is  a  third  sort,  which  are  out  of 
love  with  eveiybody  and  everything,  and 


144    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN^  S  PICTURES. 

only  come  into  the  churches  to  see  if  they 
can  make  a  row.  Mark  these,  and  keep 
clear  of  them.  There  are  plenty  of  humble 
Christians  who  only  want  leave  to  be  quiet 
and  mind  their  own  business,  and  these 
troubles  are  their  plague.  To  hear  the  gos- 
pel, and  to  be  helped  to  do  good,  is  all  that 
the  most  of  our  members  want,  but  these 
worries  come  in  with  their  "  ologies  "  and 
puzzlements,  and  hard  speeches,  and  cause 
sorrow  upon  sorrow.  A  good  shepherd 
will  soon  fetch  these  dogs  a  crack  of  the 
head  ;  but  they  will  be  at  their  work  again 
if  they  see  half  a  chance.  What  pleasure 
can  they  find  in  it?  Surely  they  must 
have  a  touch  of  the  wolf  in  their  nature. 
At  any  rate,  beware  of  the  dog. 

Seventhly,  beware  of  dogs  who  have  re- 
turned to  their  vomit.  An  apostate  is  like 
a  leper.  As  a  rule  none  are  more  bitter 
enemies  of  the  cross  than  those  who  once 
professed  to  be  followers  of  Jesus.  He  who 
can  turn  away  from  Christ  is  not  a  fit  com- 
panion for  any  honest  man.  There  are 
many  abroad  nowadays  who  have  thrown 
off  religion  as  easily  as  a  ploughman  puts 
off  his  jacket.  It  will  be  a  terrible  day  for 


BEWARE    OF  THE  DOG.  145 

them  when  the  heavens  are  on  fire  above 
them,  and  the  world  is  ablaze  under  their 
feet.  If  a  man  calls  himself  my  friend,  and 
leaves  the  ways  of  God,  then  his  way  and 
mine  are  different ;  he  who  is  no  friend  to 
the  good  cause  is  no  friend  of  mine. 

Lastly,  finally,  and  to  finish  up,  beware  of 
a  dog  that  has  no  master.  If  a  fellow  makes 
free  with  the  Bible,  and  the  laws  of  his 
country,  and  common  decency,  it  is  time  to 
make  free  to  tell  him  we  had  rather  have 
his  room  than  his  company.  A  certain  set 
of  wonderfully  wise  men  are  talking  very 
big  things,  and  putting  their  smutty  fingers 
upon  everything  which  their  fathers  thought 
to  be  good  and  holy.  Poor  fools,  they  are 
not  half  as  clever  as  they  think  they  are. 
Like  hogs  in  a  flower-garden,  they  are  for 
rooting  up  everything ;  and  some  people 
are  so  frightened  that  they  stand  as  if  they 
were  stuck,  and  hold  up  their  hands  in  hor- 
ror at  the  creatures.  When  the  hogs  have 
been  in  my  master's  garden,  and  I  have  had 
the  big  whip  handy,  I  warrant  you  I  have 
made  a  clearance,  and  I  only  wish  I  was  a 
scholar,  for  I  would  lay  about  me  among 
these  free-thinking  gentry,  and  make  them 

10 


146    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

squeal  to  a  long  metre  tune.  As  John 
Ploughman  has  other  fish  to  fry,  and  other 
tails  to  butter,  he  must  leave  these  mis- 
chievous creatures,  and  finish  his  rough 
ramshackle  sermon. 

"  Beware  of  the  dog."  Beware  of  all  who 
will  do  you  harm.  Good  company  is  to  be 
had,  why  seek  bad  ?  It  is  said  of  heaven, 
"  without  are  dogs."  Let  us  make  friends 
of  those  who  can  go  inside  of  heaven,  for 
there  we  hope  to  go  ourselves.  We  shall 
go  to  our  own  company  when  we  die ;  let 
it  be  such  that  we  shall  be  glad  to  go  to  it 


LIKE  CAT  LIKE  KIT. 


MOST    men    are  what   their    mothers 
made  them.     The    father    is  away 
from  home  all  day,  and  has  not  half  the 
influence  over  the  children  that  the  mother 

(H7) 


148    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

has.  The  cow  has  most  to  do  with  the 
calf.  If  a  ragged  colt  grows  into  a  good 
horse,  we  know  who  it  is  that  combed 
him.  A  mother  is  therefore  a  very  re- 
sponsible woman,  even  though  she  may  be 
the  poorest  in  the  land,  for  the  bad  or  the 
good  of  her  boys  and  girls  very  much  de- 
pends upon  her.  As  is  the  gardener  such  is 
the  garden,  as  is  the  wife  such  is  the  family. 
Samuel's  mother  made  him  a  little  coat 
every  year,  but  she  had  done  a  deal  for 
him  before  that :  Samuel  would  not  have 
been  Samuel  if  Hannah  had  not  been  Han- 
nah. We  shall  never  see  a  better  set  of 
men  till  the  mothers  are  better.  We  must 
have  Sarahs  and  Rebekahs  before  we  shall 
see  Isaacs  and  Jacobs.  Grace  does  not 
run  in  the  blood,  but  we  generally  find 
that  the  Timothies  have  mothers  of  a  godly 
sort. 

Little  children  give  their  mother  the 
headache,  but  if  she  lets  them  have  their 
own  way,  when  they  grow  up  to  be  great 
children  they  will  give  her  the  heartache. 
Foolish  fondness  spoils  many,  and  letting 
faults  alone  spoils  more.  Gardens  that  are 
never  weeded  will  grow  very  little  worth 


LIKE   CAT  LIKE  KIT.  149 

gathering ;  all  watering  and  no  hoeing  will 
make  a  bad  crop.  A  child  may  have  too 
much  of  its  mother's  love,  and  in  the  long 
run  it  may  turn  out  that  it  had  too  little. 
Soft-hearted  mothers  rear  soft-headed  chil- 
dren ;  they  hurt  them  for  life  because  they 
are  afraid  of  hurting  them  when  they  are 
young.  Coddle  your  children,  and  they 
will  turn  out  noodles.  You  may  sugar  a 
child  till  everybody  is  sick  of  it.  Boys' 
jackets  need  a  little  dusting  every  now  and 
then,  and  girls'  dresses  are  all  the  better 
for  occasional  trimming.  Children  without 
chastisement  are  fields  without  ploughing. 
The  very  best  colts  want  breaking  in.  Not 
that  we  like  severity ;  cruel  mothers  are 
not  mothers,  and  those  who  are  always 
flogging  and  fault-finding  ought  to  be 
flogged  themselves.  There  is  reason  in  all 
things,  as  the  madman  said  when  he  cut  off 
his  nose. 

Good  mothers  are  very  dear  to  their 
children.  There's  no  mother  in  the  world 
like  our  own  mother.  My  friend  Sanders, 
from  Glasgow,  says,  "  The  mither's  breath 
is  aye  sweet."  Every  woman  is  a  handsome 
woman  to  her  own  son.  That  man  is  not 


ISO    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

worth  hanging  who  does  not  love  his 
mother.  When  good  women  lead  their 
little  ones  to  the  Saviour,  the  Lord  Jesus 
blesses  not  only  the  children,  but  their 
mothers  as  well.  Happy  are  they  among 
women  who  see  their  sons  and  their  daugh- 
ters walking  in  the  truth. 

He  who  thinks  it  easy  to  bring  up  a 
family  never  had  one  of  his  own.  A 
mother  who  trains  her  children  aright  had 
need  be  wiser  than  Solomon,  for  his  son 
turned  out  a  fool.  Some  children  are  per- 
verse from  their  infancy ;  none  are  born  per- 
fect, but  some  have  a  double  share  of  im- 
perfections. Do  what  you  will  with  some 
children,  they  don't  improve.  Wash  a  dog, 
comb  a  dog,  still  a  dog  is  but  a  dog  :  trouble 
seems  thrown  away  on  some  children.  Such 
cases  are  meant  to  drive  us  to  God,  for  he 
can  turn  blackamoors  white,  and  cleanse 
out  the  leopard's  spots.  It  is  clear  that 
whatever  faults  our  children  have,  we  are 
their  parents,  and  we  cannot  find  fault  with 
the  stock  they  came  of.  Wild  geese  do  not 
lay  tame  eggs.  That  which  is  born  of  a  hen 
will  be  sure  to  scratch  in  the  dust.  The 
child  of  a  cat  will  hunt  after  mice.  Every 


LIKE   CAT  LIKE   KIT.  151 

creature  follows  its  kind.  If  we  are  black, 
we  cannot  blame  our  offspring  if  they  are 
dark  too.  Let  us  do  our  best  with  them, 
and  pray  the  Mighty  Lord  to  put  his  hand 
to  the  work.  Children  of  prayer  will  grow 
up  to  be  children  of  praise ;  mothers  who 
have  wept  before  God  for  their  sons,  will 
one  day  sing  a  new  song  over  them.  Some 
colts  often  break  the  halter,  and  yet  become 
quiet  in  harness.  God  can  make  those  new 
whom  we  cannot  mend,  therefore  let  mothers 
never  despair  of  their  children  as  long  as 
they  live.  Are  they  away  from  you  across 
the  sea  ?  Remember,  the  Lord  is  there  as 
well  as  here.  Prodigals  may  wander,  but 
they  are  never  out  of  sight  of  the  Great 
Father,  even  though  they  may  be  "  a  great 
way  off/' 

Let  mothers  labor  to  make  home  the 
happiest  place  in  the  world.  If  they  are  al- 
ways nagging  and  grumbling  they  will  lose 
their  hold  of  their  children,  and  the  boys 
will  be  tempted  to  spend  their  evenings 
away  from  home.  Home  is  the  best  place 
for  boys  and  men,  and  a  good  mother  is  the 
soul  of  home.  The  smile  of  a  mother's 
face  has  enticed  many  into  the  right  path, 


152    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

and  the  fear  of  bringing  a  tear  into  her  eye 
has  called  off  many  a  man  from  evil  ways. 
The  boy  may  have  a  heart  of  iron,  but  his 
mother  can  hold  him  like  a  magnet.  The 
devil  never  reckons  a  man  to  be  lost  so  long 
as  he  has  a  good  mother  alive.  O  woman, 
great  is  thy  power !  See  to  it  that  it  be 
used  for  him  who  thought  of  his  mother 
even  in  the  agonies  of  death. 


A  HORSE  WHICH  CARRIES  A  HAL- 
TER IS  SOON  CAUGHT. 


WITH  a  few  oats  in  a  sieve  the  nag 
is  tempted,  and  the   groom   soon 
catches  him  if  he  has  his  halter  on  ;  but  the 
other  horse,  who  has  no  rope  dangling  from 


154    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN1  S  PICTURES. 

his  head,  gives  master  Bob  a  sight  of  his 
heels,  and  away  he  scampers.  To  my  mind, 
a  man  who  drinks  a  glass  or  two,  and  goes 
now  and  then  to  the  tap-room,  is  a  horse 
with  his  bridle  on,  and  stands  a  fair  chance 
of  being  locked  up  in  Sir  John  Barleycorn's 
stables,  and  made  to  carry  Madame  Drink 
and  her  habit.  There's  nothing  like  coming 
out  fair  and  square,  and  standing  free  as  the 
air.  Plenty  will  saddle  you  if  they  can 
catch  you ;  don't  give  them  the  ghost  of  a 
chance.  A  bird  has  not  got  away  as  long 
as  there  is  even  a  thread  tied  to  its  leg. 

"  I've  taken  the  pledge  and  I  will  not  falter ; 
I'm  out  in  the  field  and  I  carry  no  halter ; 
I'm  a  lively  nag  that  likes  plenty  of  room, 
So  I'm  not  going  down  to  the  '  Horse  and  Groom.'  " 

In  other  concerns  it  is  much  the  same : 
you  can't  get  out  of  a  bad  way  without 
leaving  it  altogether,  bag  and  baggage. 
Half-way  will  never  pay.  One  thing  or  the 
other :  be  an  out-and-outer,  or  else  keep  in 
altogether.  Shut  up  the  shop  and  quit  the 
trade  if  it  is  a  bad  one :  to  close  the  front 
shutters  and  serve  customers  at  the  back 
door  is  a  silly  attempt  to  cheat  the  devil, 


THE  HORSE   WITHOUT  A  HALTER.    155 

and  it  will  never  answer.  Such  hide-and- 
seek  behavior  shows  that  your  conscience 
has  just  enough  light  for  you  to  read  your 
own  condemnation  by  it.  Mind  what  you 
are  at,  don't  dodge  like  a  rat. 

I  am  always  afraid  of  the  tail  end  of  a 
habit.  A  man  who  is  always  in  debt  will 
never  be  cured  till  he  has  paid  the  last  six- 
pence. When  a  clock  says  "  tick  "  once,  it 
will  say  the  same  again  unless  it  is  quite 
stopped.  Harry  Higgins  says  he  only  owes 
for  one  week  at  the  grocer's,  and  I  am  as 
sure  as  quarter-day  that  he  will  be  over 
head  and  ears  in  debt  before  long.  I  tell 
him  to  clean  off  the  old  score  and  have 
done  with  it  altogether.  He  says  the  trades- 
people like  to  have  him  on  their  books, 
but  I  am  quite  sure  no  man  in  his  senses 
dislikes  ready  money.  I  want  him  to  give 
up  the  credit  system,  for  if  he  does  not  he 
will  need  to  outrun  the  constable. 

Bad  companions  are  to  be  left  at  once. 
There's  no  use  in  shilly-shallying;  they 
must  be  told  that  we  would  sooner  have 
their  room  than  their  company,  and  if  they 
call  again  we  must  start  them  off  with  a  flea 
in  each  ear.  Somehow  I  can't  get  young 


156    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

fellows  to  come  right  out  from  the  black 
lot ;  they  think  they  can  play  with  fire  and 
not  be  burned.  Scripture  says,  "  Ye  fools, 
when  will  ye  be  wise  ?  " 

"  April  the  first  stands,  mark'd  by  custom's  rules, 
A  day  for  being,  and  for  making,  fools ; 
But,  pray,  what'custom,  or  what  rule,  supplies 
A  day  for  making,  or  for  being,  wise  ?  " 

Nobody  wants  to  keep  a  little  measles  or 
a  slight  degree  of  fever.  We  all  want  to 
be  quite  quit  of  disease ;  and  so  let  us  try 
to  be  rid  of  every  evil  habit.  What  wrong 
would  it  be  right  for  us  to  stick  to  ?  Don't 
let  us  tempt  the  devil  to  tempt  us.  If  we 
give  Satan  an  inch,  he  will  take  a  mile.  As 
long  as  we  carry  his  halter  he  counts  us 
among  his  nags.  Off  with  the  halter! 
May  the  grace  of  God  set  us  wholly  free. 
Does  not  Scripture  say,  "  Come  out  from 
among  them,  and  be  ye  separate,  and  touch 
not  the  unclean  thing  "  ? 


AN  OLD  FOX  IS  SHY  OF  A  TRAP. 


THE   old   fox  knows   the  trap  of  old. 
You  don't  catch  him  so  easily  as  you 
would  a  cub.     He  looks  sharp  at  the  sharp 
teeth,  and  seems  to  say, 


158    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

"  Hello,  my  old  chap, 
I  spy  out  your  trap. 
To-day,  will  you  fetch  me? 
Or  wait  till  you  catch  me  ? 

The  cat  asked  the  mice  to  supper,  but 
only  the  young  ones  would  come  to  the 
feast,  and  they  never  went  home  again. 
"  Will  you  walk  into  my  parlor  ?  "  said  the 
spider  to  the  fly,  and  the  silly  creature  did 
walk  in,  and  was  soon  as  dead  as  a  door- 
nail. 

What  a  many  traps  have  been  set  for 
some  of  us.  Man-traps  and  woman-traps ; 
traps  to  catch  us  by  the  eye,  by  the  ear,  by 
the  throat,  and  by  the  nose ;  traps  for  the 
head  and  traps  for  the  heart ;  day  traps,  and 
night  traps,  and  traps  for  any  time  you  like. 
The  baits  are  of  all  sorts,  alive  and  dead, 
male  and  female,  common  and  particular. 
We  had  need  be  wiser  than  foxes,  or  we 
shall  soon  hear  the  snap  of  the  man-trap 
and  feel  its  teeth. 

Beware  of  beginnings :  he  who  does  not 
take  the  first  wrong  step  will  not  take  the 
second.  Beware  of  drops,  for  the  fellows 
who  drink  take  nothing  but  a  "  drop  of 
beer,"  or  "  a  drop  too  much."  Drop  your 


BEWARE    OF  MAN-TRAPS.  159 

drop  of  grog.  Beware  of  him  who  says  "  Is 
it  not  a  little  one  ?  "  Little  sins  are  the 
eggs  of  great  sorrows.  Beware  of  lips 
smeared  with  honey:  see  how  many  flies 
are  caught  with  sweets.  Beware  of  evil 
questions  which  raise  needless  doubts,  and 
make  it  hard  for  a  man  to  trust  his  Maker. 
Beware  of  a  bad  rich  man  who  is  very  liberal 
to  you ;  he  will  buy  you  first  and  sell  you 
afterwards.  Beware  of  a  dressy  young 
woman,  without  a  mind  or  a  heart ;  you 
may  be  in  a  net  before  you  can  say  Jack 
Robinson, 

"  Pretty  fools  are  no  ways  rare : 
Wise  men  will  of  such  beware." 

Beware  of  the  stone  which  you  stumbled 
over  the  last  time  you  went  that  way.  Be- 
ware of  the  man  who  never  bewares,  and 
beware  of  the  man  whom  God  has  marked. 
Beware  of  writing  your  name  on  the  back 
of  a  bill,  even  though  your  friend  tells  you 
ten  times  over  "  it  is  only  a  matter  of  form, 
you  know."  It  is  a  form  which  you  had 
better  "  formally  decline,"  as  our  school- 
master says.  If  you  want  to  be  chopped 
up,  put  your  hand  to  a  bill ;  but  if  you  want 


i6o    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

to  be  secure  never  stand  as  security  for  any 
living  man,  woman,  child,  youth,  maiden, 
cousin,  brother,  uncle,  or  mother-in-law. 
Beware  of  trusting  all  your  secrets  with  any- 
body but  your  wife.  Beware  of  a  man  who 
will  lie,  a  woman  who  tells  tales  out  of 
school,  a  shop-keeper  who  sends  in  his  bill 
twice,  and  a  gentleman  who  will  make  your 
fortune  if  you  will  find  him  a  few  pounds. 
Beware  of  a  mule's  hind  foot,  a  dog's  tooth, 
and  a  woman's  tongue.  Last  of  all,  beware 
of  no  man  more  than  of  yourself,  and  take 
heed  in  this  matter  many  ways,  especially 
as  to  your  talk.  Five  words  cost  Zacharias 
forty  weeks'  silence.  Many  are  sorry  they 
spoke,  but  few  ever  mourn  that  they  held 
their  tongue. 

"  Who  looks  may  leap,  and  save  his  shins  from  knocks ; 
Who  tries  may  trust,  or  foulest  treachery  find ; 
He  saves  his  steed  who  keeps  him  under  locks  ; 
Who  speaks  with  heed  may  boldly  speak  his  mind. 

But  he  whose  tongue  before  his  wit  doth  run, 
Oft  speaks  too  soon  and  grieves  when  he  has  done. 
Full  oft  loose  speech  hath  bound  men  fast  in  pain, 
Beware  of  taking  from  thy  tongue  the  rein." 


A    BLACK    HEN    LAYS    A   WHITE 
EGG. 


THE  egg  is  white  enough  though   the 
hen  is  black  as  a  coal.     This  is  a 
very  simple  thing,  but  it  has  pleased  the 


1 62    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

simple  mind  of  John  Ploughman,  and  made 
him  cheer  up  when  things  have  gone  hard 
with  him.  Out  of  evil  comes  good,  through 
the  great  goodness  of  God.  From  threat- 
ening clouds  we  get  refreshing  showers ; 
in  dark  mines  men  find  bright  jewels  :  and 
so  from  our  worst  troubles  come  our  best 
blessings.  The  bitter  cold  sweetens  the 
ground,  and  the  rough  winds  fasten  the  roots 
of  the  old  oaks.  God  sends  us  letters  of 
love  in  envelopes  with  black  borders. 
Many  a  time  have  I  plucked  sweet  fruit 
from  bramble  bushes,  and  taken  lovely  roses 
from  among  prickly  thorns.  Trouble  is  to 
believing  men  and  women  like  the  sweet- 
briar  in  our  hedges,  and  where  it  grows 
there  is  a  delicious  smell  all  around  if  the 
dew  do  but  fall  upon  it  from  above. 

Cheer  up,  mates,  all  will  come  right  in  the 
end.  The  darkest  night  will  turn  to  a  fair 
morning  in  due  time.  Only  let  us  trust  in 
God,  and  keep  our  heads  above  the  waves 
of  fear.  When  our  hearts  are  right  with 
God  everything  is  right.  Let  us  look  for 
the  silver  which  lines  every  cloud,  and  when 
we  do  not  see  it  let  us  believe  that  it  is 
there.  We  are  all  at  school,  and  our  great 


THE  BLACK  HEN  LAYS  A  WHITE  EGG.  163 

Teacher  writes  many  a  bright  lesson  on  the 
black-board  of  affliction.  Scant  fare  teaches 
us  to  live  on  heavenly  bread,  sickness  bids 
us  send  off  for  the  good  Physician,  loss  of 
friends  makes  Jesus  more  precious,  and  even 
the  sinking  of  our  spirits  brings  us  to  live 
more  entirely  upon  God.  All  things  are 
working  together  for  the  good  of  those  who 
love  God,  and  even  death  itself  will  bring 
them  their  highest  gain.  Thus  the  black 
hen  lays  a  white  egg. 

"  Since  all  that  I  meet  shall  work  for  my  good, 
The  bitter  is  sweet,  the  medicine  is  food ; 
Though  painful  at  present  'twill  cease  before  long, 
And  then,  oh  how  pleasant  the  conqueror's  song  !  " 


HE  LOOKS  ONE  WAY  AND  PULLS 
THE  OTHER. 


HE  faces  the  shore,  but  he  is   pulling 
for  the  ship  :  this  is  the  way  of  those 
who  row  in  boats,  and  also  of  a  great  many 
who   never  trust  themselves  on  the  water. 
(164) 


LOOKS  ONE  WAY,  PULLS  THE  OTHER.  165 

The  boatman  is  all  right,  but  the  hypocrite 
is  all  wrong,  whatever  rites  he  may  practise. 
I  cannot  endure  Mr.  Facing-both-ways,  yet 
he  has  swarms  of  cousins. 

It  is  ill  to  be  a  saint  without  and  a  devil 
within,  to  be  a  servant  of  Christ  before  the 
world  in  order  to  serve  the  ends  of  self  and 
the  devil,  while  inwardly  the  heart  hates  all 
good  things.  There  are  good  and  bad  of 
all  classes,  and  hypocrites  can  be  found 
among  ploughmen  as  well  as  among  par- 
sons. It  used  to  be  so  in  the  olden  times,  for 
I  remember  an  old  verse  which  draws  out 
just  such  a  character:  the  man  says, — 

"  I'll  have  a  religion  all  of  my  own, 
Whether  Papist  or  Protestant  shall  not  be  known ; 
And  if  it  proves  troublesome  I  will  have  none." 

In  our  Lord's  day  many  followed  him, 
but  it  was  only  for  the  loaves  and  fishes : 
they  do  say  that  some  in  our  parish  don't 
go  quite  so  straight  as  the  Jews  did,  for 
they  go  to  the  church  for  the  loaves,  and 
then  go  over  to  the  Baptist  chapel  for  the 
fishes.  I  don't  want  to  judge,  but  I  certainly 
do  know  some  who,  if  they  do  .not  care 


166    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

much  for  faith,  are  always  following  after 
charity. 

Better  die  than  sell  your  soul  to  the 
highest  bidder.  Better  be  shut  up  in  the 
workhouse  than  fatten  upon  hypocrisy. 
Whatever  else  we  barter,  let  us  never  try  to 
turn  a  penny  by  religion,  for  hypocrisy  is 
the  meanest  vice  a  man  can  come  to. 

It  is  a  base  thing  to  call  yourself  Christ's 
horse  and  yet  carry  the  devil's  saddle. 
The  worst  kind  of  wolf  is  that  which  wears 
a  sheep's  skin.  Jezebel  was  never  so  ugly 
as  when  she  had  finished  painting  her  face. 
Above  all  things,  then,  brother  loborers,  let 
us  be  straight  as  an  arrow,  and  true  as  a  die, 
and  never  let  us  be  time-servers,  or  turn- 
coats. Never  let  us  carry  two  faces  under 
one  hat,  nor  blow  hot  and  cold  with  the 
same  breath. 


STICK   TO    IT   AND    DO   IT. 


SET  a  stout  heart  to  a  stiff  hill,  and  the 
wagon    will    get    to    the   top   of    it. 
There's  nothing  so  hard  but  a  harder  thing 
will  get  through  it ;  a  strong  job  can  be 
managed  by  a  strong  resolution.      Have  at 

(167) 


168     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

it  and  have  it.  Stick  to  it  and  succeed. 
Till  a  thing  is  done  men  wonder  that  you 
think  it  can  be  done,  and  when  you  have 
done  it  they  wonder  it  was  never  done  be- 
fore. 

In  my  picture  the  wagon  is  drawn  by 
two  horses  ;  but  I  would  have  every  man 
who  wants  his  way  in  life  pull  as  if  all  de- 
pended on  himself.  Very  little  is  done 
right  when  it  is  left  to  other  people.  The 
more  hands  to  do  work  the  less  there  is 
done.  One  man  will  carry  two  pails  of 
water  for  himself;  two  men  will  only  carry 
one  pail  between  them,  and  three  will  come 
home  with  never  a  drop  at  all.  A  child 
with  several  mothers  will  die  before  it  runs 
alone.  Know  your  business  and  give  your 
mind  to  it,  and  you  will  find  a  buttered  loaf 
where  a  sluggard  loses  his  last  crust. 

In  these  times  it's  no  use  being  a  farmer 
if  you  don't  mean  work.  The  days  are  gone 
by  for  gentlemen  to  make  a  fortune  off  of 
a  farm  by  going  out  shooting  half  their  time. 
If  foreign  wheats  keep  on  coming  in,  farmers 
will  soon  learn  that — 

"  He  who  by  the  plough  would  thrive, 
Himself  must  either  hold  or  drive." 


STICK  TO  IT  AND   SUCCEED.         169 

Going  to  Australia  is  of  no  use  to  a  man  if 
he  carries  a  set  of  lazy  bones  with  him. 
There's  a  living  to  be  got  in  old  England  at 
almost  any  trade  if  a  fellow  will  give  his 
mind  to  it.  A  man  who  works  hard  and 
has  his  health  and  strength  is  a  great  deal 
happier  than  my  lord  Tom  Noddy,  who 
does  nothing  and  is  always  ailing.  Do  you 
know  the  old  song  of  "  The  Nobleman's 
generous  kindness"  ?  You  should  hear  our 
Will  sing  it.  I  recollect  some  of  the  verses. 
The  first  one  gives  a  picture  of  the  hard- 
working laborer  with  a  large  family — 

"  Thus  careful  and  constant,  each  morning  he  went 
Unto  his  day  labor  with  joy  and  content ; 
So  jocular  and  jolly  he'd  whistle  and  sing, 
As  blithe  and  as  brisk  as  the  birds  in  the  spring." 

The  other  lines  are  the  ploughman's  own 
story  of  how  he  spent  his  life,  and  I  wish 
that  all  countrymen  could  say  the  same. 

"  I  reap  and  I  mow,  I  harrow  and  I  sow, 
Sometimes  a  hedging  and  ditching  I  go ; 
No  work  comes  amiss,  for  I  thrash  and  I  plough, 
Thus  my  bread  I  do  earn  by  the  sweat  of  my  brow. 

"  My  wife  she  is  willing  to  pull  in  a  yoke, 
We  live  like  two  lambs,  nor  each  other  provoke ; 


170    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

We  both  of  us  strive,  like  the  laboring  ant, 
And  do  our  endeavors  to  keep  us  from  want. 

"  And  when  I  come  home  from  my  labor  at  night, 
To  my  wife  and  my  children  in  whom  1  delight, 
I  see  them  come  round  me  with  prattling  noise. 
Now  these  are  the  riches  a  poor  man  enjoys. 

"  Though  I  am  as  weary  as  weary  may  be, 
The  youngest  I  commonly  dance  on  my  knee ; 
I  find  in  content  a  continual  feast, 
And  never  repine  at  my  lot  in  the  least." 

So,  you  see,  the  poor  laborer  may  work 
hard  and  be  happy  all  the  same ;  and  surely 
those  who  are  in  higher  stations  may  do  the 
like  if  they  like. 

He  is  a  sorry  dog  who  wants  game  and 
will  not  hunt  for  it :  let  us  never  lie  down 
in  idle  despair,  but  follow  on  till  we  succeed. 

Rome  was  not  built  in  a  day,  nor  much 
else,  unless  it  be  a  dog-kennel.  Things 
which  cost  no  pains  are  slender  gains. 
Where  there  has  been  little  sweat  there  will 
be  little  sweet.  Jonah's  gourd  came  up  in 
a  night,  but  then  it  perished  in  a  night. 
Light  come,  light  go :  that  which  flies  in  at 
one  window  will  be  likely  to  fly  out  at 
another.  It's  a  very  lean  hare  that  hounds 
catch  without  running  for  it,  and  a  sheep 


STICK  TO   IT  AND  SUCCEED.         171 

that  is  no  trouble  to  shear  has  very  little 
wool.  For  this  reason  a  man  who  cannot 
push  on  against  wind  and  weather  stands  a 
poor  chance  in  this  world. 

Perseverance  is  the  main  thing  in  life.  To 
hold  on,  and  hold  out  to  the  end,  is  the 
chief  matter.  If  the  race  could  be  won  by 
a  spurt,  thousands  would  wear  the  blue 
ribbon;  but  they  are  short-winded  and  pull 
up  after  the  first  gallop.  They  begin  with 
flying,  and  end  in  crawling  backwards. 
When  it  comes  to  collar  work,  many  horses 
turn  to  jibbing.  If  the  apples  do  not  fall 
at  the  first  shake  of  the  tree  your  hasty  folks 
are  too  lazy  to  fetch  a  ladder,  and  in  too 
much  of  a  hurry  to  wait  till  the  fruit  is  ripe 
enough  to  fall  of  itself.  The  hasty  man  is 
as  hot  as  fire  at  the  outset,  and  as  cold  as 
ice  at  the  end.  He  is  like  the  Irishman's 
saucepan,  which  had  many  good  points 
about  it,  but  it  had  no  bottom.  He  who  can- 
not bear  the  burden  and  heat  of  the  day  is 
not  worth  his  salt,  much  less  his  potatoes. 

Before  you  begin  a  thing,  make  sure  it  is 
the  right  thing  to  do :  ask  Mr.  Conscience 
about  it.  Do  not  try  to  do  what  is  impossi- 
ble :  ask  Common  Sense.  It  is  of  no  use 


172    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

to  blow  against  a  hurricane,  or  to  fish  for 
whales  in  a  washing  tub.  Better  give  up  a 
foolish  plan  than  go  on  and  burn  your  fin- 
gers with  it :  better  bend  your  neck  than" 
knock  your  forehead.  But  when  you  have 
once  made  up  your  mind  to  go  a  certain 
road,  don't  let  every  molehill  turn  you  out 
of  the  path.  One  stroke  fells  not  an  oak. 
Chop  away,  axe,  you'll  down  with  the  tree 
at  last !  A  bit  of  iron  does  not  soften  the 
moment  you  put  it  into  the  fire.  Blow,  smith  ! 
Put  on  more  coals  !  Get  it  red-hot  and  hit 
hard  with  the  hammer,  and  you  will  make 
a  ploughshare  yet.  Steady  does  it.  Hold 
on  and  you  have  it.  Brag  is  a  fine  fellow 
at  crying  "  Tally-ho ! "  but  Perseverance 
brings  home  the  brush. 

We  ought  not  to  be  put  out  of  heart 
by  difficulties :  they  are  sent  on  purpose  to 
try  the  stuff  we  are  made  of;  and  depend 
upon  it  they  do  us  a  world  of  good.  There's 
a  sound  reason  why  there  are  bones  in  our 
meat  and  stones  in  our  land.  A  world  where 
everything  was  easy  would  be  a  nursery  for 
babies,  but  not  at  all  a  fit  place  for  men. 
Celery  is  not  sweet  till  it  has  felt  a  frost, 
and  men  don't  come  to  their  perfection  till 


STICK   TO  IT  AND  SUCCEED.         173 

disappointment  has  dropped  a  half-hundred 
weight  or  two  on  their  toes.  Who  would 
know  good  horses  if  there  were  no  heavy 
loads  ?  If  the  clay  was  not  stiff,  my  old 
Dapper  and  Violet  would  be  thought  no 
more  of  than  Tomkins'  donkey.  Besides, 
to  work  hard  for  success  makes  us  fit  to 
bear  it :  we  enjoy  the  bacon  all  the  more 
because  we  have  got  an  appetite  by  earning 
it.  When  prosperity  pounces  on  a  man  like 
an  eagle,  it  often  throws  him  down.  If  we 
overtake  the  cart,  it  is  a  fine  thing  to  get  up 
and  ride  ;  but  when  it  comes  behind  us  at 
a  tearing  rate,  it  is  very  apt  to  knock  us  down 
and  run  over  us,  and  when  we  are  lifted  into 
it  we  find  our  leg  is  broken,  or  our  arm 
out  of  joint,  and  we  cannot  enjoy  the  ride. 
Work  is  always  healthier  for  us  than  idle- 
ness ;  it  is  always  better  to  wear  out  shoes 
than  sheets.  I  sometimes  think,  when  I  put 
on  my  considering  cap,  that  success  in  life 
is  something  like  getting  married :  there's 
a  very  great  deal  of  pleasure  in  the  courting, 
and  it  is  not  a  bad  thing  when  it  is  a  mod- 
erate time  on  the  road.  Therefore,  young 
man,  learn  to  wait,  and  work  on.  Don't 
throw  away  your  rod,  the  fish  will  bite  some 


174    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

time  or  other.  The  cat  watches  long  at  the 
hole,  but  catches  the  mouse  at  last.  The 
spider  mends  her  broken  web,  and  the  flies 
are  taken  before  long.  Stick  to  your  call- 
ing, plod  on,  and  be  content ;  for,  make  sure, 
if  you  can  undergo  you  shall  overcome. 

If  bad  be  your  prospects,  don't  sit  still  and  cry, 
But  jump  up,  and  say  to  yourself,  "  I  WILL  TRY." 

Miracles  will  never  cease !  My  neighbor, 
Simon  Gripper,  was  taken  generous  about 
three  months  ago.  The  story  is  well  worth 
telling.  He  saw  a  poor  blind  man,  led  by 
a  little  girl,  playing  on  a  fiddle.  His  heart 
was  touched,  for  a  wonder.  He  said  to  me, 
"  Ploughman,  lend  me  a  penny,  there's  a 
good  fellow."  I  fumbled  in  my  pocket, 
and  found  two  halfpence,  and  handed  them 
to  him.  More  fool  I,  for  he  will  never  pay 
me  again.  He  gave  the  blind  fiddler  one  of 
those  halfpence,  and  kept  the  other,  and  I 
have  not  seen  either  Gripper  or  my  penny 
since,  nor  shall  I  get  the  money  back  till 
the  gate-post  outside  my  garden  grows  Rib- 
stone  pippins.  There's  generosity  for  you  ! 
The  old  saying  which  is  put  at  the  top  of 
this  bit  of  my  talk  brought  him  into  my 


STICK   TO    IT  AND  SUCCEED.         175 

mind,  for  he  sticks  to  it  most  certainly  :  he 
lives  as  badly  as  a  church  mouse,  and 
works  as  hard  as  if  he  was  paid  by  the  piece, 
and  had  twenty  children  to  keep :  but  I 
would  no  more  hold  him  up  for  an  example 
than  I  would  show  a  toad  as  a  specimen  of 
a  pretty  bird.  While  I  talk  to  you  young 
people  about  getting  on,  I  don't  want  you 
to  think  that  hoarding  up  money  is  real 
success ;  nor  do  I  wish  you  to  rise  an  inch 
above  an  honest  ploughman's  lot,  if  it  can- 
not be  done  without  being  mean  or  wicked. 
The  workhouse,  prison  as  it  is,  is  a  world 
better  than  a  mansion  built  by  roguery  and 
greed.  If  you  cannot  get  on  honestly,  be 
satisfied  not  to  get  on.  The  blessing  of  God 
is  riches  enough  for  a  wise  man,  and  all  the 
world  is  not  enough  for  a  fool.  Old  Gripper's 
notion  of  how  to  prosper  has,  I  dare  say,  a 
good  deal  of  truth  in  it,  and  the  more's  the 
pity.  The  Lord  deliver  us  from  such  a 
prospering,  I  say.  That  old  sinner  has  often 
hummed  these  lines  into  my  ears  when  we 
have  got  into  an  argument,  and  very  pretty 
lines  they  are  not,  certainly : — 

"  To  win  the  prize  in  the  world's  great  race 
A  man  should  have  a  brazen  face ; 


176     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

An  iron  arm  to  give  a  stroke, 
And  a  heart  as  sturdy  as  an  oak; 
Eyes  like  a  cat,  good  in  the  dark, 
And  teeth  as  piercing  as  a  shark ; 
Ears  to  hear  the  gentlest  sound, 
Like  moles  that  burrow  in  the  ground; 
A  mouth  as  close  as  patent  locks, 
And  stomach  stronger  than  an  ox ; 
His  tongue  should  be  a  razor-blade, 
His  conscience  india-rubber  made ; 
His  blood  as  cold  as  polar  ice, 
His  hand  as  grasping  as  a  vice. 
His  shoulders  should  be  adequate 
To  bear  a  couple  thousand  weight ; 
His  legs,  like  pillars,  firm  and  strong, 
To  move  the  great  machine  along ; 
With  supple  knees  to  cringe  and  crawl, 
And  cloven  feet  placed  under  all." 

It  amounts  to  this :  be  a  devil  in  order  to 
be  happy.  Sell  yourself  outright  to  the 
old  dragon,  and  he  will  give  you  the  world 
and  the  glory  thereof.  But  remember  the 
question  of  the  Old  Book,  "  What  shall  it 
profit  a  man,  if  he  gain  the  whole  world, 
and  lose  his  own  soul  ?  "  There  is  another 
road  to  success  besides  this  crooked,  dirty, 
cut-throat  lane.  It  is  the  King's  highway, 
of  which  the  same  Book  says  :  "  Seek  ye 
first  the  kingdom  of  God,  and  his  righteous- 
ness ;  and  all  these  things  shall  be  added 


STICK  TO   IT  AND  SUCCEED.         177 

unto  you."  John  Ploughman  prays  that 
all  his  readers  may  choose  this  way,  and 
keep  to  it ;  yet  even  in  that  way  we  must 
use  diligence,  "  for  the  kingdom  of  heaven 
suffereth  violence,  and  the  violent  take  it  by 
force." 


12 


DON'T    PUT    THE    CART    BEFORE 
THE  HORSE. 


NOBODY  will  ever  take  that  fellow  to 
be   a   Solomon.     He   has   no   more 
sense  than  a  sucking  turkey ;  his  wit  will 
never  kill  him,  but  he  may  die  for   want 
(178) 


CART  BEFORE    THE  HORSE.          179 

of  it.  One  would  think  that  he  does  not 
know  which  side  of  himself  goes  first,  or 
which  end  should  be  uppermost,  for  he  is 
putting  the  cart  before  the  horse.  However, 
he  is  not  the  only  fool  in  the  world,  for 
nowadays  you  can't  shake  your  coat  out  of 
a  window  without  dusting  an  idiot.  You 
have  to  ask  yourself  what  will  be  the  next 
new  piece  of  foolery. 

Amusing  blunders  will  happen.  Down 
at  our  chapel  we  only  have  evening  meet- 
ings on  moonlight  nights,  for  some  of  our 
friends  would  never  find  their  way  home 
down  our  Surrey  lanes  of  a  dark  night.  It 
is  a  long  lane  that  has  no  turning,  but  ours 
have  plenty  of  turnings,  and  are  quite  as 
long  as  one  likes  them  when  it  is  pitch  dark, 
for  the  trees  meet  over  your  head  and  won't 
let  a  star  peep  through.  What  did  our  old 
clerk  do  the  other  Sunday  but  give  notice 
that  there  would  be  no  moon  next  Wednes- 
day night  in  consequence  of  there  being 
no  service.  He  put  the  cart  before  the 
horse  that  time.  So  it  was  with  the  young 
parson,  of  very  fine  ideas,  who  tried  to  make 
us  poor  clodhoppers  see  the  wisdom  of 
Providence  in  making  the  great  rivers  run 


i8o    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

near  the  large  towns,  while  our  village  had 
a  small  brook  to  suit  the  size  of  it.  We 
had  a  quiet  laugh  at  the  good  man  as  we 
walked  home  through  the  corn,  and  we 
wondered  why  it  never  occurred  to  him  that 
the  Thames  was  in  its  bed  long  before  Lon- 
don was  up,  and  our  tiny  stream  ran  through 
its  winding  ways  long  before  a  cottager 
dipped  his  pail  into  it. 

Dick  Widgeon  had  a  married  daughter 
who  brought  her  husband  as  pretty  a  baby 
as  one  might  wish  to  see.  When  it  was 
born,  a  neighbor  asked  the  old  man  whether 
it  was  a  boy  or  a  girl.  "  Dear,  dear,"  said 
Dick,  "  here's  a  kettle  of  fish !  I'm  either  a 
grandfather  or  a  grandmother,  and  I'm  sure 
I  don't  know  which."  Dick  says  his  mother 
was  an  Irishman,  but  I  do  not  believe  it. 

All  this  is  fun,  but  some  of  this  blundering 
leads  to  mischief.  Lazy  fellows  ruin  their 
trade,  and  then  say  that  bad  trade  ruined 
them. 

Some  fellows  talk  at  random,  as  if  they 
lived  in  a  world  turned  upside  down,  for 
they  always  put  things  the  wrong  side  up. 
A  serving-man  lost  his  situation  through 
his  drunken  ways ;  and,  as  he  could  get  no 


CART  BEFORE    THE  HORSE.          181 

character,  he  charged  his  old  master  with 
being  his  ruin. 

"  Robert  complained  the  other  day 
His  master  took  his  character  away : 
'  I  take  your  character,'  said  he,  *  no  fear, 
Not  for  a  thousand  pounds  a  year.'  M 

The  man  was  his  own  downfall,  and  now  he 
blames  those  who  speak  the  truth  about 
him.  "  He  mistakes  the  effect  for  the  cause," 
as  our  old  schoolmaster  says,  and  blames 
the  bucket  for  the  faults  of  the  well. 

The  other  day  a  fellow  said  to  me,  "  Don't 
you  think  Jones  is  a  lucky  chap  ?  "  "  No/' 
said  I,  "  I  think  he  is  a  hard-working  man, 
and  gets  on  because  he  deserves  it."  "  Ah," 
was  the  man's  answer,  "  don't  tell  me ;  he 
has  got  a  good  trade,  and  a  capital  shop, 
and  a  fair  capital,  and  I  don't  wonder  that 
he  makes  money."  Bless  the  man's  heart ; 
Jones  began  with  nothing,  in  a  little,  poking 
shop,  and  all  he  has  was  scraped  together 
by  hard  labor  and  careful  saving.  The  shop 
would  never  have  kept  him  if  he  had  not 
kept  the  shop,  and  he  would  have  had  no 
trade  if  he  had  not  been  a  good  tradesman ; 
but  there,  it's  no  use  talking,  some  people 


182    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

will  never  allow  that  thrift  and  temperance 
lead  to  thriving  and  comfort,  for  this  would 
condemn  themselves.  So  to  quiet  their 
consciences  they  put  the  cart  before  the 
horse. 

A  very  bad  case  of  putting  the  cart  before 
the  horse  is  when  a  drinking  old  man  talks 
as  if  he  had  been  kept  out  of  the  grave  by 
his  beer,  though  that  is  the  thing  which 
carries  people  to  their  last  home.  He  hap- 
pens to  have  a  strong  constitution,  and  so 
he  can  stand  the  effects  of  drink  better  than 
most,  and  then  folks  say  it  was  the  drink 
which  gave  him  the  constitution.  When  an 
old  soldier  comes  alive  out  of  battle,  do  we 
think  that  the  shot  and  shell  saved  his  life  ? 
When  we  meet  with  a  man  who  is  so  strong 
that  he  can  be  a  great  drinker  and  still  seem 
little  the  worse,  we  must  not  say  that  he 
owes  his  strength  to  his  beer,  or  we  shall 
be  putting  the  plough  before  the  oxen. 

When  a  man  thinks  that  he  is  to  make 
himself  good  before  he  comes  to  Jesus  to  be 
saved,  he  is  planting  the  fruit  instead  of  the 
root ;  and  putting  the  chimney  pots  where 
the  foundation  should  be.  We  do  not  save 
ourselves  and  then  trust  the  Saviour ;  but 


CART  BEFORE    THE  HORSE.          183 

when  the  Saviour  has  worked  salvation  in 
us,  then  we  work  it  out  with  fear  and 
trembling.  Be  sure,  good  reader,  that  you 
put  faith  first,  and  works  afterwards;  for, 
if  not,  you  will  put  the  cart  before  the  horse. 


A    LEAKING    TAP    IS    A    GREAT 
WASTER. 


A    LEAKING    tap    is   a   great   waster. 
£~\     Drop  by  drop,  by  day  and  by  night, 
the   liquor  runs  away,  and  the  housewife 
(184) 


THE  LEAKING    TAP.  185 

wonders  how  so  much  can  have  gone. 
This  is  the  fashion  in  which  many  laboring 
men  are  kept  poor :  they  don't  take  care  of 
the  pence,  and  so  they  have  no  pounds  to  put 
in  the  bank.  You  cannot  fill  the  rain-water 
butt  if  you  do  not  catch  the  drops.  A  six- 
pence here,  and  a  shilling  there,  and  his 
purse  is  empty  before  a  man  dares  to  look 
in  it.  What  with  waste  in  the  kitchen, 
waste  at  table,  and  waste  at  the  public- 
house,  fools  and  their  money  soon  part  to 
meet  no  more.  If  the  wife  wastes  too,  there 
are  two  holes  in  the  barrel.  Sometimes  the 
woman  dresses  in  tawdry  finery  and  gets  in 
debt  to  the  tally-man ;  and  it  is  still  worse 
if  she  takes  to  the  bottle.  When  the  goose 
drinks  as  deep  as  the  gander,  pots  are  soon 
empty,  and  the  cupboard  is  bare.  Then 
they  talk  about  saving,  like  the  man  who 
locked  the  stable  door  after  his  horse  was 
stolen.  They  will  not  save  at  the  brim,  but 
promise  themselves  and  the  pigs  that  they 
will  do  wonders  when  they  get  near  the 
bottom.  It  is  well  to  follow  the  good  old 
rule : — 

"  Spend  so  as  ye  may 
Spend  for  many  a  day." 


186     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

He  who  eats  all  the  loaf  at  breakfast  may 
whistle  for  his  dinner,  and  get  a  dish  of 
empties.  If  we  do  not  save  while  we  have 
it,  we  certainly  shall  not  save  after  all  is 
gone.  There  is  no  grace  in  waste.  Econ- 
omy is  a  duty ;  extravagance  is  a  sin.  The 
old  Book  saith,  "  He  that  hasteth  to  be  rich 
shall  not  be  innocent,"  and,  depend  upon  it, 
he  that  hasteth  to  be  poor  is  in  much  the 
same  box.  Stretch  your  legs  according  to 
the  length  of  your  blanket,  and  never  spend 
all  that  you  have : 

"  Put  a  little  by ; 
Things  may  go  awry." 

It  will  help  to  keep  you  from  anxious 
care, — which  is  sinful,  if  you  take  honest 
care, — which  is  commendable.  Lay  up 
when  young,  and  you  shall  find  when  old  ; 
but  do  not  this  greedily  or  selfishly,  or  God 
may  send  a  curse  on  your  store.  Money 
is  not  a  comfort  by  itself,  for  they  said  in 
the  olden  time — 

'*  They  who  have  money  are  troubled  about  it, 
And  they  who  have  none  are  troubled  without  it." 

But  though  the  dollar  is  not  almighty,  it 


THE   LEAKING    TAP.  187 

ought  to  be  used  for  the  Almighty,  and  not 
wasted  in  wicked  extravagance.  Even  a 
dog  will  hide  up  a  bone  which  he  does  not 
want,  and  it  is  said  of  wolves  that  they 
gnaw  not  the  bones  till  the  morrow;  but 
many  of  our  working  men  are  without  thrift 
or  forethought,  and,  like  children,  they  will 
eat  all  the  cake  at  once  if  they  can.  When 
a  frost  comes  they  are  poor  frozen-out  gar- 
deners, and  ask  for  charity,  when  they 
ought  to  have  laid  up  for  a  snowy  day.  I 
wonder  they  are  not  ashamed  of  them- 
selves. Those  are  three  capital  lines : — 

"  Earn  all  you  can, 
Save  all  you  can, 
Give  all  you  can.'* 

But  our  neighbor  Scroggs  acts  on  quite 
a  different  rule-of-three,  and  tries  three 
other  cans : 

"  Eat  all  you  can, 
Drink  all  you  can, 
Spend  all  you  can." 

He  can  do  more  of  all  these  than  is 
canny ;  it  would  be  a  good  thing  if  he  and 
the  beer-can  were  a  good  deal  further 
apart. 


188      JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

I  don't  want  any  person  to  become  a 
screw,  or  a  hoarder,  or  a  lover  of  money, 
but  I  do  wish  our  working  men  would 
make  better  use  of  what  they  get.  It  is 
little  enough,  I  know;  but  some  make  it 
less  by  squandering  it.  Solomon  com- 
mends the  good  woman  who  "  considereth 
a  field  and  buyeth  it :  with  the  fruit  of  her 
hands  she  planteth  a  vineyard ;  "  he  also 
tells  the  sluggard  to  go  to  the  ant,  and  see 
how  she  stores  for  the  winter.  I  am  told 
that  ants  of  this  sort  do  not  live  in  England, 
and  I  am  afraid  they  dont ;  but  my  master 
says  he  has  seen  them  in  France,  and  I 
think  it  would  be  a  good  idea  to  bring  over 
the  breed.  My  old  friend  Tusser  says, — 

"  111  husbandry  drinketh 
Himself  out  of  door ; 
Good  Husbandry  thinketh 
Of  friend  and  of  poor." 

The  more  of  such  good  husbandry  the 
merrier  for  old  England.  You  cannot  burn 
your  faggots  in  autumn  and  then  stack 
them  for  the  winter;  if  you  want  the  calf  to 
become  a  cow,  you  must  not  be  in  a  hurry 
to  eat  neats'  feet.  Money  once  spent  is 


THE  LEAKING    TAP.  189 

like  shot  fired  from  a  gun,  you  can  never 
call  it  back.  No  matter  how  sorry  you 
may  be,  the  goldfinches  are  out  of  the  cage, 
and  they  will  not  fly  back  for  all  your  cry- 
ing. If  a  fellow  gets  into  debt  it  is  worse 
still,  for  that  is  a  ditch  in  which  many  find 
mud,  but  none  catch  fish.  When  all  his 
sugar  is  gone,  a  man's  friends  are  not  often 
very  sweet  upon  him.  People  who  have 
nothing  are  very  apt  to  be  thought  worth 
nothing :  mind,  /  don't  say  so,  but  a  good 
many  do.  Wrinkled  purses  make  wrinkled 
faces.  It  has  been  said  that  they  laugh 
most  who  have  least  to  lose,  and  it  may  be 
so ;  but  I  am  afraid  that  some  of  them  laugh 
on  the  wrong  side  of  their  faces.  Foolish 
spending  buys  a  pennyworth  of  merry-mak- 
ing, but  it  costs  many  a  pound  of  sorrow.- 
The  profligate  sells  his  cow  to  buy  a 
canary,  and  boils  down  a  bullock  to  get 
half-a-pint  of  bad  soup,  and  that  he  throws 
away  as  soon  as  he  has  tasted  it.  I  should 
not  care  to  spend  all  my  living  to  buy  a 
mouldy  repentance,  yet  this  is  what  many 
a  prodigal  has  done,  and  many  more  will 
do. 

My  friend,  keep  money  in  thy  purse :  "  It 


190    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

is  one  of  Solomon's  proverbs/'  said  one; 
another  answered  that  it  was  not  there. 
"  Then,"  said  Kit  Lancaster,  "  it  might  have 
been,  and  if  Solomon  had  ever  known  the 
miss  of  a  shilling  he  would  have  said  it 
seven  times  over."  I  think  that  he  does 
say  as  much  as  this  in  substance,  if  not  in 
so  many  words,  especially  when  he  talks 
about  the  ant ;  but  be  that  how  it  may,  be 
sure  of  this,  that  a  pound  in  the  pocket  is 
as  good  as  a  friend  at  court,  and  rather 
better ;  and  if  ever  you  live  to  want  what 
you  once  wasted,  it  will  fill  you  with  woe 
enough  to  last  you  to  your  grave.  He 
who  put  a  pound  of  butter  on  a  gridiron, 
not  only  lost  his  butter,  but  made  such  a 
blaze  as  he  won't  soon  forget :  foolish 
*lavishness  leads  to  dreadful  wickedness,  so 
John  Ploughman  begs  all  his  mates  to  fight 
shy  of  it,  and  post  off  to  the  Post  Office 
Savings'  Bank. 

"  For  age  and  want  save  while  you  may ; 
No  morning's  sun  lasts  all  the  day." 

Money  is  not  the  chief  thing,  it  is  as  far 
below  the  grace  of  God  and  faith  in  Christ 
as  a  ploughed  field  is  below  the  stars ;  but 


THE  LEAKING    TAP.  191 

still,  godliness  hath  the  promise  of  the  life 
that  now  is  as  well  as  of  that  which  is  to 
come,  and  he  who  is  wise  enough  to  seek 
first  the  kingdom  of  God  and  his  righteous- 
ness, should  also  be  wise  enough  to  use 
aright  the  other  things  which  God  is 
pleased  to  add  unto  him. 

Somewhere  or  other  I  met  with  a  set  of 
mottoes  about  gold,  which  I  copied  out, 
and  here  they  are :  I  don't  know  who  first 
pricked  them  down,  but  like  a  great  many 
of  the  things  which  are  stuck  together  in 
my  books,  I  found  them  here  and  there, 
and  they  are  none  of  mine :  at  least,  I  can- 
not claim  the  freehold,  but  have  them  on 
copyhold,  which  is  a  fair  tenure.  If  the 
owners  of  these  odds  and  ends  will  call  for 
them  at  the  house  where  this  book  is  pub- 
lished they  may  have  them  on  paying  a 
shilling  for  the  paper  they  are  done  up  in. 

MOTTOES    ABOUT   GOLD. 
A  vain  man's  motto  is "  Win  gold  and  wear  it." 


A  generous  man's  motto  is.. 

A  miserly  man's  motto  is. .. 

A  profligate  man's  motto  is. 

A  banker's  motto  is . . 

A  gambler's  motto  is. 

A  wise  man's  motto  is 


Win  gold  and  share  it." 
Win  gold  and  spare  it." 
Win  gold  and  spend  it." 
Win  gold  and  lend  it." 
Win  gold  or  lose  it." 
Win  gold  and  use  it." 


FOOLS    SET    STOOLS     FOR    WISE 
MEN  TO  STUMBLE  OVER. 


THIS  is  what  they  call  "  a  lark."     Fools 
set   stools    for  wise  men  to  stumble 
over.     To  ask  questions  is  as  easy  as  kissing 
your  hand ;  to  answer  them  is  hard  as  fat- 
(192) 


FOOLS  SET  STOOLS  FOR  WISE  MEN.  193 

tening  a  greyhound.  Any  fool  can  throw 
a  stone  into  a  deep  well,  and  the  cleverest 
man  in  the  parish  may  never  be  able  to  get 
it  up  again.  Folly  grows  in  all  countries, 
and  fools  are  all  the  world  over,  as  he  said 
who  shod  the  goose.  Silly  people  are 
pleased  with  their  own  nonsense,  and  think 
it  rare  fun  to  quiz  their  betters.  To  catch  a 
wise  man  tripping  is  as  good  as  bowling  a 
fellow  out  at  a  cricket-match. 

"  Folly  is  wise  in  her  own  eyes, 
Therefore  she  tries  Wit  to  surprise.'* 

There  are  difficulties  in  everything  ex- 
cept in  eating  pancakes,  and  nobody  ought 
to  be  expected  to  untie  all  the  knots  in  a 
net,  or  to  make  that  straight  which  God 
has  made  crooked.  He  is  the  greatest  fool 
of  all  who  pretends  to  explain  everything, 
and  says  he  will  not  believe  what  he  cannot 
understand.  There  are  bones  in  the  meat, 
but  am  I  to  go  hungry  till  I  can  eat  them  ? 
Must  I  never  enjoy  a  cherry  till  I  find  one 
without  a  stone  ?  John  Ploughman  is  not 
of  that  mind.  He  is  under  no  call  to  doubt, 
for  he  is  not  a  doctor :  when  people  try  to 
puzzle  him  he  tells  them  that  those  who 
'3 


194    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

made  the  lock  had  better  make  the  key,  and 
those  who  put  the  cow  in  the  pound  had 
better  get  her  out.  Then  they  get  cross, 
and  John  only  says — You  need  not  be 
crusty,  for  you  are  none  too  much  baked. 

After  all,  what  do  we  know  if  all  our 
knowing  was  put  together?  It  would  all 
go  in  a  thimble,  and  the  girl's  finger,  too. 
A  very  small  book  would  hold  most  men's 
learning,  and  every  line  would  have  a  mis- 
take in  it.  Why,  then,  should  we  spend  our 
lives  in  perplexity,  tumbling  about  like  pigs 
in  a  sack,  and  wondering  how  we  shall  ever 
get  out  again  ?  John  knows  enough  to  know 
that  he  does  not  know  enough  to  explain 
all  that  he  knows,  and  so  he  leaves  the 
stools  to  the  schools  and  the  other  — ools. 


A   MAN    IN   A    PASSION    RIDES   A 

HORSE  THAT  RUNS  AWAY 

WITH  HIM. 


WHEN  passion  has  run  away  with  a 
man,     who    knows   where   it   will 
carry  him  ?     Once  let  a  rider  lose  power 

(195) 


196    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

over  his  horse,  and  he  may  go  over  hedge 
and  ditch,  and  end  with  a  tumble  into  the 
stone-quarry  and  a  broken  neck.  No  one 
can  tell  in  cold  blood  what  he  may  do  when 
he  gets  angry ;  therefore  it  is  best  to  run 
no  risks.  Those  who  feel  their  temper  ris- 
ing will  be  wise  if  they  rise  themselves  and 
walk  off  to  the  pump.  Let  them  fill  their 
mouths  with  cold  water,  hold  it  there  ten 
minutes  at  the  least,  and  then  go  indoors, 
and  keep  there  till  they  feel  cool  as  a  cu- 
cumber. If  you  carry  loose  gunpowder  in 
your  pocket,  you  had  better  not  go  where 
sparks  are  flying ;  and  if  you  are  bothered 
with  an  irritable  nature,  you  should  move 
off  when  folks  begin  teasing  you.  Better 
keep  out  of  a  quarrel  than  fight  your  way 
through  it. 

Nothing  is  improved  by  anger  unless  it 
be  the  arch  of  a  cat's  back.  A  man  with 
his  back  up  is  spoiling  his  figure.  People 
look  none  the  handsomer  for  being  red  in 
the  face.  It  takes  a  great  deal  out  of  a 
man  to  get  into  a  towering  rage ;  it  is  al- 
most as  unhealthy  as  having  a  fit,  and  time 
has  been  when  men  have  actually  choked 
themselves  with  passion,  and  died  on  the 


A   MAN  IN  A   PASSION.  197 

spot.  Whatever  wrong  I  suffer,  it  cannot 
do  me  half  so  much  hurt  as  being  angry 
about  it ;  for  passion  shortens  life  and  poi- 
sons peace. 

When  once  we  give  way  to  temper,  tem- 
per will  claim  a  right  of  way,  and  come  in 
easier  every  time.  He  that  will  be  in  a  pet 
for  any  little  thing  will  soon  be  out  at 
elbows  about  nothing  at  all.  A  thunder- 
storm curdles  the  milk,  and  so  does  a  pas- 
sion sour  the  heart  and  spoil  the  character. 

He  who  is  in  a  tantrum  shuts  his 
eyes  and  opens  his  mouth,  and  very 
soon  says  what  he  will  be  sorry  for. 
Better  bite  your  lips  now  than  smart  for 
life.  It  is  easier  to  keep  a  bull  out  of  a 
china  shop  than  it  is  to  get  him  out  again; 
and,  besides,  there's  no  end  of  a  bill  to  pay 
for  damages. 

A  man  burning  with  anger  carries  a  mur- 
derer inside  his  waistcoat;  the  sooner  he 
can  cool  down  the  better  for  himself  and  all 
around  him.  He  will  have  to  give  an  ac- 
count for  his  feelings  as  well  as  for  his 
words  and  actions,  and  that  account  will 
cost  him  many  tears.  It  is  a  cruel  thing  to 
tease  quick-tempered  people,  for,  though  it 
may  be  sport  to  you,  it  is  death  to  them ; 


198    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

at  least,  it  is  death  to  their  peace,  and  may 
be  something  worse.  We  know  who  said, 
4f  Woe  to  that  man  by  whom  the  offence 
cometh." 

Shun  a  furious  man  as  you  would  a  mad 
dog,  but  do  it  kindly,  or  you  may  make  him 
worse  than  he  would  be.  Don't  put  a  man 
out  when  you  know  he  is  out  with  himself. 
When  his  monkey  is  up  be  very  careful,  for 
he  means  mischief.  A  surly  soul  is  sure  to 
quarrel ;  he  says  the  cat  will  break  his  heart^ 
and  the  coal  scuttle  will  be  the  death  of  him. 

"  A  man  in  a  rage 
Needs  a  great  iron  cage. 
He'll  tear  and  he'll  dash 
Till  he  comes  to  a  smash ; 
So  let's  out  of  his  way 
As  quick  as  we  may." 

As  we  quietly  move  off  let  us  pray  for 
the  angry  person ;  for  a  man  in  a  thorough 
passion  is  as  sad  a  sight  as  to  see  a  neigh- 
bor's house  on  fire  and  no  water  handy  to 
put  out  the  flames. 

Let  us  wish  the  fellow  on  the  runaway 
horse  a  soft  ditch  to  tumble  in,  and  sense 
enough  never  to  get  on  the  creature's  back 
again. 


WHERE  THE  PLOUGH  SHALL  FAIL 

TO  GO, 
THERE  THE  WEEDS  WILL  SURELY 

GROW. 


IN  my  young  days  farmers  used  to  leave 
broad    headlands;   and,  as  there   were 

(i99) 


200    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN* S  PICTURES. 

plenty  of  good-for-nothing  hedges  and 
ditches,  they  raised  a  prime  crop  of  weeds, 
and  these  used  to  sow  the  farm,  and  give  a 
heap  of  trouble.  Then  Farmer  Numskull 
"  never  could  make  out  nohow  where  all 
they  there  weeds  could  'a  come  from."  In 
those  good  old  times,  as  stupids  call  them, 
old  Tusser  said : 

"  Slack  never  thy  weeding  for  dear  or  for  cheap, 
The  corn  shall  reward  it  when  harvest  ye  reap." 

He  liked  to  see  weeding  done  just  after 
rain  :  no  bad  judge  either.  He  said, 

"  Then  after  a  shower,  to  weeding  a  snatch, 
'Tis  more  easy  then  the  root  to  despatch." 

Weeding  is  wanted  now,  for  ill  weeds 
grow  apace,  and  the  hoe  must  always  go  ; 
but  still  lands  are  a  fine  sight  cleaner 
than  they  used  to  be,  for  now  farmers  go 
a  deal  closer  to  work,  and  grub  up  the 
hedges,  and  make  large  fields,  to  save 
every  bit  of  land.  Quite  right,  too.  The 
less  there  is  wasted  the  more  there  is 
for  us  all. 

To  clothe  the  fields  with  plenty  and  all  our  barns  endow, 
We'll  turn  up  every  corner  and  drive  the  useful  plough. 


NO   PLOUGH,  MANY  WEEDS.         201 

No  weed  shall  haunt  the  furrow,  before  us  all  shall  bow, 
We'll  gaily  yield  our  labor  to  guide  the  useful  plough. 

It  would  be  well  to  do  the  same  thing  in 
other  concerns.  Depend  upon  it,  weeds 
will  come  wherever  you  give  them  half  a 
chance.  When  children  have  no  school  to 
go  to  they  will  pretty  soon  be  up  to  mis- 
chief; and  if  they  are  not  taught  the  gos- 
pel, the  old  enemy  will  soon  teach  them  to 
thieve,  and  lie,  and  swear.  You  can  tell 
with  your  eyes  shut  where  there's  a  school 
and  where  there's  none :  only  use  your  ears 
and  hear  the  young  ones  talk. 

So  far  goes  the  plough,  and  where  that 
leaves  off  the  docks  and  the  thistles  begin, 
as  sure  as  dirt  comes  where  there's  no  wash- 
ing, and  mice  where  there  are  no  cats.  They 
tell  me  that  in  London  and  other  big 
towns  vice  and  crime  are  sure  to  spread 
where  there  are  no  ragged  schools  and  Sun- 
day schools ;  and  I  don't  wonder.  I  hope 
the  day  will  never  come  when  good  people 
will  give  up  teaching  the  boys  and  girls. 
Keep  that  plough  going,  say  I,  till  you  have 
cut  up  all  the  charlock.  Don't  leave  a  rod 
of  ground  for  the  devil  to  sow  his  tares  in. 
In  my  young  time  few  people  in  our  parish 


202    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

could  either  read  or  write,  and  what  were 
they  to  do  but  gossip,  and  drink  and  fight, 
and  play  old  gooseberry  ?  Now  that  teach- 
ing is  to  be  had,  people  will  all  be  scholars, 
and,  as  they  can  buy  a  Testament  for  a 
penny,  I  hope  they  will  search  the  Script- 
ures, and  may  God  bless  the  word  to  the 
cleansing  of  their  souls.  When  the  school- 
master gets  to  his  work  in  downright 
earnest,  I  hope  and  trust  there  will  be  a 
wonderful  clearance  of  the  weeds. 

The  best  plough  in  all  the  world  is  the 
preaching  of  the  gospel.  Leave  a  village 
without  Christ  crucified,  and  it  soon  be- 
comes a  great  tangle  of  thorn,  and  briar, 
and  brake,  and  bramble ;  but  when  sound 
and  sensible  preaching  comes,  it  tears  all 
up  like  a  steam  plough,  and  the  change 
is  something  to  sing  about.  "The  desert 
shall  rejoice  and  blossom  as  the  rose." 

Inside  a  man's  heart  there  is  need  of  a 
thorough  ploughing  by  God's  grace,  for 
if  any  part  of  our  nature  is  left  to  itself, 
the  weeds  of  sin  will  smother  the  soul. 
Every  day  we  have  need  to  be  looked 
after,  for  follies  grow  in  no  time,  and  come 
to  a  great  head  before  you  can  count  twenty. 
God  speed  the  plough. 


ALL   IS    LOST    THAT    IS    POURED 
INTO  A  CRACKED  DISH. 


COOK  is  wasting  her  precious  liquor,  for 
it  runs  out  almost  as  fast  as  it  runs  in. 
The  sooner  she  stops  that  game  the  better. 
This  makes  me  think  of  a  good   deal  of 

(203) 


204    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN^  S  PICTURES. 

preaching;  it  is  labor  in  vain,  because  it 
does  not  stay  in  the  minds  of  the  hearers, 
but  goes  in  at  one  ear  and  out  at  the  other. 
When  men  go  to  market  they  are  all  alive 
to  do  a  trade,  but  in  a  place  of  worship  they 
are  not  more  than  half  awake,  and  do  not 
seem  to  care  whether  they  profit  or  not  by 
what  they  hear.  I  once  heard  a  preacher 
say,  "  Half  of  you  are  asleep,  half  are  in- 
attentive, and  the  rest ."  He  never 

finished  that  sentence,  for  the  people  began 
to  smile,  and  here  and  there  one  burst  out 
laughing.  Certainly,  many  only  go  to 
meeting  to  stare  about. 

"  Attend  your  church,  the  parson  cries, 

To  church  each  fair  one  goes ; 
The  old  ones  go  to  close  their  eyes, 
The  young  to  eye  their  clothes.'* 

You  might  as  well  preach  to  the  stone 
images  in  the  old  church  as  to  people  who 
are  asleep.  Some  old  fellows  come  into 
our  meeting,  pitch  into  their  corner,  and 
settle  themselves  down  for  a  quiet  snooze 
as  knowingly  as  if  the  pew  was  a  sleeping- 
car  on  the  railway.  Still,  all  the  sleeping 
at  service  is  not  the  fault  of  the  poor  people, 


THE    CRACKED  DISH.  205 

for  some  parsons  put  a  lot  of  sleeping  stuff 
into  their  sermons.  Will  Shepherd  says 
they  mesmerize  the  people.  (I  think  that 
is  the  right  word,  but  I'm  not  sure.)  I  saw 
a  verse  in  a  real  live  book  by  Mr.  Cheales, 
the  vicar  of  Brockham,  a  place  which  is 
handy  to  my  home.  I'll  give  it  you. 

"  The  ladies  praise  our  curate's  eyes, 
I  never  see  their  light  divine, 
For  when  he  prays  he  closes  them, 
And  when  he  preaches  closes  mine." 

Well,  if  curates  are  heavy  in  style,  the  peo- 
ple will  soon  be  heavy  in  sleep.  Even  when 
hearers  are  awake  many  of  them  are  for- 
getful. It  is  like  pouring  a  jug  of  ale  be- 
tween the  bars  of  a  gridiron,  to  try  and 
teach  them  good  doctrine.  Water  on  a 
duck's  back  does  have  some  effect,  but  ser- 
mons by  the  hundred  are  as  much  lost  upon 
many  men's  hearts  as  if  they  had  been 
spoken  to  a  kennel  of  hounds.  Preaching 
to  some  fellows  is  like  whipping  the  water 
or  lashing  the  air.  As  well  talk  to  a  tur- 
nip, or  whistle  to  a  dead  donkey,  as  preach 
to  these  dull  ears.  A  year's  sermons  will 
not  produce  an  hour's  repentance  till  the 
grace  of  God  comes  in. 


206    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

We  have  a  good  many  hangers  on  who 
think  that  their  duty  to  God  consists  in  hear- 
ing sermons,  and  that  the  best  fruit  of  their 
hearing  is  to  talk  of  what  they  have  heard. 
How  they  do  lay  the  law  down  when  they 
get  argifying  about  doctrines  !  Their  relig- 
ion all  runs  to  ear  and  tongue  :  neither  their 
heart  nor  their  hand  is  a  scrap  the  better. 
This  is  poor  work,  and  will  never  pay  the 
piper.  The  sermon  which  only  gets  as  far 
as  the  ear  is  like  a  dinner  eaten  in  a  dream. 
It  is  ill  to  lie  soaking  in  the  gospel  like  a 
bit  of  coal  in  a  milk-pan,  never  the  whiter 
for  it  all. 

What  can  be  the  good  of  being  hearers 
only  ?  It  disappoints  the  poor  preacher, 
and  it  brings  no  blessing  to  the  man  him- 
self. Looking  at  a  plum  won't  sweeten 
your  mouth,  staring  at  a  coat  won't  cover 
your  back,  and  lying  on  the  bank  won't 
catch  the  fish  in  the  river.  The  cracked 
dish  is  never  the  better  for  all  that  is  poured 
into  it:  it  is  like  our  forgetful  heart,  it 
wants  to  be  taken  away,  and  a  new  one  put 
instead  of  it. 


GRASP  ALL  AND  LOSE  ALL. 


WHILE  so  many  poor  neighbors  are 
around  us  it  is  a  sin  to  hoard.     If 
we  do  we  shall  be  losers,  for  rats  eat  corn, 
rust  cankers  metal,  and  the  curse  of  God 

(207) 


208    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

spoils  riches.  A  tight  fist  is  apt  to  get  the 
rheumatism,  an  open  hand  bears  the  palm. 
It  is  good  to  give  a  part  to  sweeten  the  rest. 
A  great  stack  of  hay  is  apt  to  heat  and  take 
fire ;  cut  a  piece  out  and  let  the  air  in,  and 
the  rest  will  be  safe.  What  say  you,  Mr. 
Reader,  to  cut  a  few  pounds  out  of  your 
heap,  and  send  them  to  help  feed  the  or-  y 
phans 


SCATTER  AND    INCREASE. 


"PEOPLE  will  not  believe  it,  and  yet  it  is 
X  true  as  the  gospel,  that  giving  leads 
to  thriving.  John  Bunyan  said, 

"  There  was  a  man,  and  some  did  count  him  mad, 
The  more  he  gave  away,  the  more  he  had." 
14  ^209) 


2io     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

He  had  an  old  saying  to  back  him,  one 
which  is  as  old  as  the  hills,  and  as  good  as 
gold— 

"  Give  and  spend 
And  God  will  send." 

If  a  man  cannot  pay  his  debts  he  must 
not  think  of  giving,  for  he  has  nothing  of 
his  own,  and  it  is  thieving  to  give  away 
other  people's  property.  Be  just  before 
you  are  generous.  Don't  give  to  Peter  what 
is  due  to  Paul.  They  used  to  say  that 
"  Give  "  is  dead,  and  "  Restore  "  is  buried, 
but  I  do  not  believe  it  any  more  than  I  do 
another  saying,  "  There  are  only  two  good 
men,  one  is  dead,  and  the  other  is  not  born." 
No,  no:  there  are  many  free  hearts  yet 
about,  and  John  Ploughman  knows  a  good- 
ish  few  of  them — people  who  don't  cry, 
"  Go  next  door,"  but  who  say,  "  Here's  a 
little  help,  and  we  wish  we  could  make  it 
ten  times  as  much."  God  has  often  a  great 
share  in  a  small  house,  and  many  a  little 
man  has  a  large  heart. 

Now,  you  will  find  that  liberal  people  are 
happy  people,  and  get  more  enjoyment  out 
of  what  they  have  than  folks  of  a  churlish 
mind.  Misers  never  rest  till  they  are  put 


SCATTER  AND   INCREASE.  21 1 

to  bed  with  a  shovel :  they  often  get  so 
wretched  that  they  would  hang  themselves 
only  they  grudge  the  expense  of  a  rope. 
Generous  souls  are  made  happy  by  the  hap- 
piness of  others :  the  money  they  give  to 
the  poor  buys  them  more  pleasure  than  any 
other  that  they  lay  out. 

I  have  seen  men  of  means  give  coppers, 
and  they  have  been  coppery  in  everything. 
They  carried  on  a  tin-pot  business,  lived  like 
beggars,  and  died  like  dogs.  I  have  seen 
others  give  to  the  poor  and  to  the  cause  of 
God  by  shovelfuls  and  they  have  had  it 
back  by  barrow-loads.  They  made  good 
use  of  their  stewardship,  and  the  great  Lord 
has  trusted  them  with  more,  while  the  bells 
in  their  hearts  have  rung  out  merry  peals 
when  they  have  thought  of  widows  who 
blessed  them,  and  orphan  children  who 
smiled  into  their  faces.  Ah  me,  that  there 
should  be  creatures  in  the  shape  of  men 
whose  souls  are  of  no  use  except  as  salt  to 
keep  their  bodies  from  rotting  !  Please  let 
us  forget  them,  for  it  makes  me  feel  right 
down  sick  to  think  of  their  nasty  ways. 
Let  us  see  what  we  can  do  to  scatter  joy  all 
around  us,  just  as  the  sun  throws  his  light 


212     JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

on  hill  and  dale.  He  that  gives  God  his 
heart  will  not  deny  him  his  money.  He 
will  take  a  pleasure  in  giving,  but  he  will 
not  wish  to  be  seen,  nor  will  he  expect  to 
have  a  pound  of  honor  for  sixpence.  He 
will  look  out  for  worthy  objects  ;  for  giving 
to  lazy,  drunken  spendthrifts  is  wasteful  and 
wicked  ;  you  might  as  well  sugar  a  brickbat 
and  think  to  turn  it  into  a  pudding.  A 
wise  man  will  go  to  work  in  a  sensible  way, 
and  will  so  give  his  money  to  the  poor  that 
he  will  be  lending  it  to  the  Lord.  No  se- 
curity can  be  better  and  no  interest  can  be 
surer.  The  Bank  is  open  at  all  hours.  It 
is  the  best  Savings'  Bank  in  the  nation. 
There  is  an  office  open  at  the  Boys'  and 
Girls'  Orphanage,  Stockwell,  London.  Draw 
your  cheques  or  send  your  orders  to  C.  H. 
Spurgeon.  There  will  soon  be  five  hun- 
dred mouths  to  fill  and  backs  to  cover. 
Take  shares  in  this  company.  John  Plough- 
man wishes  he  could  do  more  for  it. 


EVERY   BIRD   LIKES   ITS   OWN 
NEST. 


IT  pleases  me  to  see  how  fond  the  birds 
are  of  their  little  homes.     No    doubt 
each  one  thinks  his  own  nest  is  the  very  best ; 

(213) 


214    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

and  so  it  is  for  him,  just  as  my  home  is  the 
best  palace  for  me,  even  for  me  King  John, 
the  king  of  the  Cottage  of  Content.  I  will 
ask  no  more  if  providence  only  continues 
to  give  me — 

"  A  little  field  well  tilled, 
A  little  house  well  filled, 
And  a  little  wife  well  willed." 

An  Englishman's  house  is  his  castle,  and 
the  true  Briton  is  always  fond  of  the  old 
roof-tree.  Green  grows  the  house-leek  on 
the  thatch,  and  sweet  is  the  honey-suckle 
at  the  porch,  and  dear  are  the  gilly-flowers 
in  the  front  garden ;  but  best  of  all  is  the 
good  wife  within,  who  keeps  all  as  neat  as 
a  new  pin.  Frenchmen  may  live  in  their 
coffee-houses,  but  an  Englishman's  best  life 
is  seen  at  home. 

"  My  own  house,  though  small, 
Is  the  best  house  of  all." 

When  boys  get  tired  of  eating  tarts,  and 
maids  have  done  with  winning  hearts,  and 
lawyers  cease  to  take  their  fees,  and  leaves 
leave  off  to  grow  on  trees,  then  will  John 
Ploughman  cease  to  love  his  own  dear  home. 
John  likes  to  hear  some  sweet  voice  sing — 


EVERY  BIRD  LIKES  ITS   OWN  NEST.   215 

"  'Mid  pleasures  and  palaces  though  we  may  roam, 
Be  it  ever  so  humble,  there's  no  place  like  home; 
A  charm  from  the  sky  seems  to  hallow  us  there, 
Which,  wherever  we  rove,  is  not  met  with  elsewhere. 

Home  !  Home !  sweet,  sweet  home ! 
There's  no  place  like  home !  " 

People  who  take  no  pleasure  in  their  own 
home  •  are  queer  folks,  and  no  better  than 
they  should  be.  Every  dog  is  a  lion  at  his 
own  door,  and  a  man  should  make  most  of 
those  who  make  most  of  him.  Women 
should  be  house-keepers  and  keep  in  the 
house.  That  man  is  to  be  pitied  who  has 
married  one  of  the  Miss  Gadabouts.  Mrs. 
Cackle  and  her  friend  Mrs.  Dressemout  are 
enough  to  drive  their  husbands  into  the 
county  jail  for  shelter:  there  can  be  no 
peace  where  such  a  piece  of  goods  as  either 
of  them  is  to  be  found.  Old  Tusser  said — 

"  111  huswifery  pricketh 
Herself  up  with  pride  : 
Good  huswifery  tricketh 
Her  house  as  a  bride. 

"  111  huswifery  moveth 
With  gossip  to  spend : 
Good  huswifery  loveth 
Her  household  to  tend." 


216    JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  PICTURES. 

The  woman  whose  husband  wastes  his 
evenings  with  low  fellows  at  the  beer-shop 
is  as  badly  off  as  a  slave ;  and  when  the 
Act  of  Parliament  shuts  up  most  of  these 
ruin-houses,  it  will  be  an  Act  of  Emanci- 
pation for  her.  Good  husbands  cannot  have 
too  much  of  their  homes,  and  if  their  wives 
make  their  homes  comfortable  they  will 
soon  grow  proud  of  them.  When  good 
fathers  get  among  their  children  they  are 
as  merry  as  mice  in  malt.  Our  Joe  Scroggs 
says  he's  tired  of  his  house,  and  the  house 
certainly  looks  tired  of  him,  for  it  is  all  out 
of  windows,  and  would  get  out  of  doors  if 
it  knew  how.  He  will  never  be  weary  in 
well  doing,  for  he  never  began.  What  a 
different  fellow  he  would  be  if  he  could  be- 
lieve that  the  best  side  of  the  world  is  a 
man's  own  fireside.  I  know  it  is  so,  and  so 
do  many  more. 

"  Seek  home  for  rest, 
For  home  is  best." 

What  can  it  be  that  so  deludes  lots  of 
people  who  ought  to  know  better  ?  They 
have  sweet  wives,  and  nice  families,  and 
comfortable  houses,  and  they  are  several 


EVERY  BIRD  LIKES  ITS   OWN  NEST.   217 

cuts  above  us  poor  country  bumpkins,  and 
yet  they  must  be  out  of  an  evening.  What 
is  it  for  ?  Surely  it  can't  be  the  company ; 
for  the  society  of  the  woman  you  love,  who 
is  the  mother  of  your  children,  is  worth  all 
the  companies  that  ever  met  together.  I 
fear  they  are  away  soaking  their  clay,  and 
washing  all  their  wits  away.  If  so,  it  is  a 
great  shame,  and  those  who  are  guilty  of  it 
ought  to  be  trounced.  O  that  drink  !  that 
drink ! 

Dear,  dear,  what  stuff  people  will  pour 
into  their  insides !  Even  if  I  had  to  be 
poisoned  I  should  like  to  know  what  I  was 
swallowing.  A  cup  of  tea  at  home  does 
people  a  sight  more  good  than  all  the  mix- 
tures you  get  abroad.  There's  nothing  like 
the  best  home-brewed,  and  there's  no  better 
mash-tub  for  making  it  in  than  the  old-fash- 
ioned earthenware  teapot.  Our  little  chil- 
dren sing,  "  Please,  father,  come  home," 
and  John  Ploughman  joins  with  thousands 
of  little  children  in  that  simple  prayer  which 
every  man  who  is  a  man  should  be  glad  to 
answer.  I  like  to  see  husband  and  wife 
longing  to  see  each  other. 


2i8    JOHN  PLOUGHMAWS  PICTURES. 

"  An  ear  that  waits  to  catch, 

A  hand  upon  the  latch ; 
A  step  that  hastens  its  sweet  rest  to  win ; 
A  world  of  care  without, 
A  world  of  strife  shut  out, 
A  world  of  love  shut  in." 

Fellow  workmen,  try  to  let  it  be  so  with 
you  and  your  wives.  Come  home,  and 
bring  your  wages  with  you,  and  make  your- 
selves happy  by  making  everyone  happy 
around  you. 

My  printer  jogs  my  elbow,  and  says, 
"  That  will  do :  I  can't  get  any  more  in." 
Then,  Mr.  Passmore,  I  must  pass  over 
many  things,  but  I  cannot  leave  off  without 
praising  God  for  his  goodness  to  me  and 
mine,  and  all  my  brother  ploughmen,  for  it 
is  of  his  great  mercy  that  he  lets  us  live  in 
this  dear  old  country  and  loads  us  with  so 
many  benefits. 

This  bit  of  poetry  shall  be  my  finish :  I 
mean  every  word  of  it.  Let  us  sing  it 
together. 


*  What  pleasant  groves,  what  goodly  fields ! 

What  fruitful  hills  and  vales  have  we ! 
How  sweet  an  air  our  climate  yields  ! 
How  blest  with  flocks  and  herds  we  be ! 


EVERY  BIRD  LIKES  ITS   OWN  NEST.   219 

How  milk  and  honey  doth  overflow ! 

How  clear  and  wholesome  are  our  springs ! 
How  safe  from  ravenous  beasts  we  go ! 

And,  oh,  how  free  from  poisonous  things! 

"  For  these,  and  for  our  grass,  our  corn ; 

For  all  that  springs  from  blade  or  bough ; 
For  all  those  blessings  that  adorn, 

Both  wood  and  field,  this  kingdom  through; 
For  all  of  these,  thy  praise  we  sing ; 

And  humbly,  Lord,  entreat  thee  too, 
That  fruit  to  thee  we  forth  may  bring, 

As  unto  us  thy  creatures  do." 


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beautiful  illustrations  by  Walter  Paget. 

ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND,  with 
42  illustrations  by  John  Tenniel.  "  The  most  delightful 
of  children's  stories.  Elegant  and  delicious  nonsense." 
— Saturday  Review. 

THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS  AND  WHAT 
ALICE  FOUND  THERE;  a  companion  to  "  Alice 
in  Wonderland,"  with  50  illustrations  by  John  Tenniel. 

BUNYAN'S  PILGRIM'S  PROGRESS,  with  50  full  page 
and  text  illustrations. 

A  CHILD'S  STORY  OF  THE  BIBLE,  with  72  full  page 
illustrations. 

A  CHILD'S  LIFE  OF  CHRIST,  with  49  illustrations. 
God  has  implanted  in  the  infant  heart  a  desire  to  hear 
of  Jesus,  and  children  are  early  attracted  and  sweetly 
riveted  by  the  wonderful  Story  of  the  Master  from  the 
Manger  to  the  Throne. 

SWISS  FAMILY  ROBINSON,  with  50  illustrations.  The 
father  of  the  family  tells  the  tale  of  the  vicissitudes 
through  which  he  and  his  wife  and  children  pass,  the 
wonderful  discoveries  made  and  dangers  encountered. 
The  book  is  full  of  interest  and  instruction. 

CHRISTOPHER  COLUMBUS  AND  THE  DISCOV- 
ERY OF  AMERICA,  with  70  illustrations.  Every 
American  boy  and  girl  should  be  acquainted  with  the 
story  of  the  life  of  the  great  discoverer,  with  its  strug- 
gles, adventures^nd  trials. 

THE  STORY  OF  EXPLORATION  AND  DISCOVERY 
IN  AFRICA,  with  80  illustrations  Records  the  ex- 
periences of  adventures  and  discoveries  in  developing 
tne  "  Dark  Continent,"  from  the  early  days  of  Bruce 
and  Mungo  Park  down  to  Livingstone  and  Stanley, 
and  the  IK  roes  of  cur  own  times.  No  present  can  be 
more  acceptable  than  such  a  volume  as  this,  where 
courage,  intrepidity,  resource,  and  devotion  are  so 
admirably  mingled. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  Young  Peoples'  Library — continued. 


THE  FABLES  OF  -/ESpP.  Compiled  from  the  best 
accepted  sources.  With  62  illustrations.  The  fables  of 
./Esop  are  among  the  very  earliest  compositions  of  this 
kind,  and  probably  have  never  been  surpassed  for  point 
and  brevity. 

GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  Adapted  for  young  readers. 
With  50  illustrations. 

MOTHER  GOOSE'S  RHYMES,  JINGLES  AND 
FAIRY  TALES,  with  234  illustrations. 

LIVES  OF  THE  PRESIDENTS  OF  THE  UNITED 
STATES,  by  Prescott  Holmes.  With  portraits  of 
the  Presidents  and  also  of  the  unsuccessful  candidates 
for  the  office  ;  as  well  as  the  ablest  of  the  Cabinet  offi- 
cers. It  is  just  the  book  for  intelligent  boys,  and  it 
will  help  to  make  them  intelligent  and  patriotic  citizens. 

THE  STORY  OF  ADVENTURE  IN  THE  FROZEN 
SEAS,  with  70  illustrations.  By  Prescott  Holmes. 
We  have  here  brought  together  the  records  of  the 
attempts  to  reach  the  North  Pole.  The  book  shows 
how  much  can  be  accomplished  by  steady  perseverance 
and  indomitable  pluck. 

ILLUSTRATED  NATURAL  HISTORY,  by  the  Rev.  J. 

G.  Wood,  with  80  illustrations.  This  author  has  done 
more  to  popularize  the  study  of  natural  history  than 
any  other  writer.  The  illustrations  are  striking  and 
life-like. 

A  CHILD'S  HISTORY  OF  ENGLAND,  by  Charles 
Dickens,  with  50  illustrations.  Tired  of  listening  to 
his  children  memorize  the  twaddle  of  old  fashioned 
English  history  the  author  covered  the  ground  in  his 
own  peculiar  and  happy  style  for  his  own  children's 
use.  When  the  work  was  published  its  success  was 
instantaneous. 

BLACK  BEAUTY,  THE  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  A 
HORSE,  by  Anna  Sewell,  with  50  illustrations.  A 
work  sure  to  educate  boys  and  girls  to  treat  with  kind- 
ness all  members  of  the  animal  kingdom.  Recognized 
as  the  greatest  story  of  animal  life  extant. 

THE  ARABIAN  NIGHTS  ENTERTAINMENTS, 
with  130  illustrations.  Contains  the  most  favorably 
known  of  the  stories. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'   PUBLICATIONS. 


ALTEMUS'  DEVOTIONAL  SERIES. 

Standard  Religious  Literature  Appropriately  Bound  in 

Handy  Volume  Size.      Each  Volume  contains 

Illuminated  Title,  Portrait  of  Author 

and  Appropriate  Illustrations. 

WHITE  VELLUM,  SILVER  AND  MONOTINT, 
BOXED,  EACH  FIFTY  CENTS. 


i     KEPT  FOR  THE  MASTER'S  USE,  by  Frances  Ridley 
Havergal.     "  Will  perpetuate  her  name." 

a     MY    KING    AND    HIS    SERVICE,    OR     DAILY 
THOUGHTS  FOR  THE  KING'S  CHILDREN, 

by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal.  "  Simple,  tender,  gentle, 
and  full  of  Christian  love." 

3  MY  POINT  OF  VIEW.     Selections  from  the  works  of 

Professor  Henry  Drummond. 

4  OF  THE    IMITATION    OF   CHRIST,   by    Thomas 

A  Kempis.  "  With  the  exception  of  the  Bible  it  is 
probably  the  book  most  read  in  Christian  literature." 

5  ADDRESSES,  by  Professor  Henry  Drummond.    "  Intel- 

ligent sympathy  with  the  Christian's  need." 

6  NATURAL  LAW  IN  THE  SPIRITUAL  WORLD, 

by  Professor  Henry  iJrumrnond.  "  A  most  notable 
book  which  has  earned  for  the  author  a  world-wide 
reputation." 

7  ADDRESSES,   by   the    Rev.    Philips   Brooks.      ''Has 

exerted  a  marked  influence  over  the  rising  generation." 

8  ABIDE  IN  CHRIST.    Thoughts  on  the  Blessed  Life  of 

Fellowship  with  the  Son  of  Cod.  By  ihe  Kev.  Andrew 
Murray.  It  cannot  fail  to  stimulate  and  cheer. — 
Spurgeon. 

9  LIKE  CHRIST.     Thoughts  on  the  Blessed  T  ife  of  Con- 

foimity  10  the  Son  or  God.  By  the  Rev.  Andrew 
Murray.  A  sequel  to  "  Abide  in  Christ."  "  Alay  be 
read  with  comfort  and  edification  by  «.!!." 

10    WITH  CHRIST  IN  THE  SCHOOL  OF  PRAYER, 

by  the  Rev  Andrew  Murray.  "  The  best  worK  on 
prayer  in  the  language." 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'   PUBLICATIONS. 

11  HOLY  IN  CHRIST.     Thoughts  on  the  Calling  of  God's 

Children  to  be  Holy  as  He  is  Holy.  By  the  Rev. 
Andrew  Murray.  "  This  sacred  theme  is  ti  eated  Scrip- 
turally  and  robustly  without  spurious  sentimentalism." 

12  THE  MANLINESS  OF  CHRIST,  by  Thomas  Hughes, 

author  of  "Tom  Browns  School  Days,"  etc.  '*  Evi- 
dences of  the  sublimest  courage  and  manliness  in 
the  boyhood,  ministry,  and  in  the  last  acts  of  Christ's 
life." 

13  ADDRESSES  TO  YOUNG  MEN,  by  the  Rev.  Henry 

Ward  Beecher.  Seven  Addresses  on  common  vices  and 
their  results. 

14  THE  PATHWAY  OF  SAFETY,  by  the  Rt.  Rev.  Ash- 

ton  Oxenden,  D.D.  Sound  words  of  advice  and  encour- 
agement on  the  text  "  What  must  I  do  to  be  saved?" 

15  THE  CHRISTIAN    LIFE,  by  the  Rt.    Rev.   Ashton 

Oxenden,  D.  D.  A  beautiful  delineation  of  an  ideal  life 
from  the  conversion  to  the  final  reward. 

16  THE  THRONE  OF  GRA.CE.     Before  which  the  bur- 

dened soul  may  cast  itself  on  the  bosom  of  infinite  love 
and  enjoy  in  prayer"  a  peace  which  passeth  all  under- 
standing." 

17  THE   PATHWAY  OF   PROMISE,  by  the  author  of 

'The  Throne  of  Grace."  Thoughts  consolatory  and 
encouraging  to  the  Christian  pilgrim  as  he  journeys 
onward  to  his  heavenly  home. 

18  THE  IMPREGNABLE  ROCK  OF  HOLY  SCRIP- 

TURE, by  the  Rt.  Hon  William  Kwart  Gladstone, 
M  P.  The  most  masterly  defence  of  the  truths  of  the 
Bible  extant.  The  author  says  :  The  Christian  Faith 
and  the  Holy  Scriptures  arm  us  with  the  means  of  neu- 
tralizing and  repelling  the  assaults  of  evil  in  and  from 
ourselves. 

19  STEPS  INTO  THE  BLESSED  LIFE,  by  the  Rev.  F. 

B.  Meyer,  B.  A.  A  powerful  help  towards  sanciifica- 
tion. 

20  THE  MESSAGE  OF  PEACE,  by  the  Rev.  Richard  \V. 

Church,  D.  L>.  Eight  excellent  sermons  on  the  advent 
of  the  Babe  of  Bethlehem  and  his  influence  and  effect 
on  the  world. 

21  JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  TALK,  by  the  Rev.  Charles 

22  JOHN    PLOUGHMAN'S   PICTURES,  by  the   Rev. 

Charles  H.  Spurgeon. 

23  THE    CHANGED    CROSS;     AND    OTHER    RE- 

LIGIOUS POEMS. 


ALTEMUS'  ETERNAL   LIFE   SERIES. 


Selections    from    the    writings    of  well-known    religious 

authors,  beautifully  printed  and  daintily  bound 

with  original  designs  in  silver  and  ink. 

PRICE.  25  CENTS  PER  VOLUME. 


1  ETERNAL   LIFE,  by  Professor  Henry  Drummond. 

2  LORD,  TEACH  US  TO  PRAY,  by  Rev.  Andrew  Murray. 

3  GOD'S  WORD  AND  GOD'S  WORK,  by  Martin  Luther. 

4  FAITH,  by  Thomas  Arnold. 

5  THE    CREATION    STORY,    by   Honorable    William    E. 

Gladstone. 

6  THE   MESSAGE  OF  COMFORT,   by  Rt.  Rev.  Ashton 

7  THEXMESSAGE  OF  PEACE,  by  Rev   R.  \V.  Church. 

8  THE    LORD'S    PRAYER    AND    THE    TEN     COM- 

MANDMENTS,  by  Dean  Stanley. 

9  THE  MEMOIRS  OF  JESUS,  by  Rev.  Robert  F.  Horton. 

10  HYMNS  OF  PRAISE  AND  GLADNESS,  by  Elisabeth. 

R.  Scovil. 

11  DIFFICULTIES,  by  Hannah  Whitall  Smith. 

12  GAMBLERS  AND   GAMBLING,  by  Rev.  Henry  Ward 

Beecher. 

13  HAVE  FAITH  IN  GOD,  by  Rev.  Andrew  Murray. 

14  TWELVE  CAUSES  OF  DISHONESTY,  by  Rev.  Henry 

Ward  Beecher. 

15  THE  CHRIST  IN  WHOM  CHRISTIANS  BELIEVE, 

by  Rt.  Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

16  IN  MY  NAME,  hy  Rev.  Andrew  Murray. 

17  SIX  WARNINGS,  by  Rev.  Henry  Ward  Beecher. 

18  THE  DUTY  OF  THE  CHRISTIAN  BUSINESSMAN, 

by  Rt.  Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

19  POPULAR     AMUSEMENTS,    by    Rev.     Henry     Ward 

20  TRUE  LIBERTY,  by  Rt.  Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

21  INDUSTRY    AND    IDLENESS,  by   Rev.   Henry  Ward 

Beecher. 

22  THE    BEAUTY   OF  A  LIFE  OF  SERVICE,  by  Rt. 

Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

23  THE  SECOND  COMING  OF  OUR  LORD,  by  Rev.  A. 

T.  Pierson,  D.  D. 

24  THOUGHT  AND  ACTION,  by  Rt.  Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

25  THE  HEAVENLY  VISION,  by  Rev.  F.  B   Meyer. 

26  MORNING  STRENGTH,  by  Elisabeth  R.  Scovil. 

27  FOR  THE  QUIET  HOUR,  by  Edith  V.  Bradt. 

28  EVENING  COMFORT,  by  Elisabeth  R.  Scovil 

29  WORDS    OF  HELP    FOR  CHRISTIAN   GIRLS,   by 

Rev.  F.  B.  Meyer. 

.  30    HOW  TO   STUDY  THE   BIBLE,  by   Rev.   Dwight   L. 
Moody. 

31  EXPECTATION  CORNER,  by  E.  S.  Elliot. 

32  JESSICA'S  FIRST  PRAYER,  by  Hesba  Stratton. 


ALTEMUS'  BELLES-LETTRES   SERIES. 


A    collection  of  Essays    and    Addresses    by  eminent 

English  arid  American  Authors,  beautifully 

printed  and   daintily  bound,  with 

original  designs  in  silver. 


PRICE,  25  CENTS  PER  VOLUME. 


1  INDEPENDENCE  DAY,  by  Rev.  Edward  E.  Hale. 

2  THE  SCHOLAR  IN  POLITICS,  by  Hon.  Richard  Olney. 

3  THE  YOUNG  MAN  IN  BUSINESS,  by  Edward  W.  Bok. 

4  THE  YOUNG  MAN  AND  THE  CHURCH,  by  Edward 

W.  Bok. 

5  THE  SPOILS  SYSTEM,  by  Hon.  Carl  Schurz. 

6  CONVERSATION,  by  Thomas  DeQuincey. 

7  SWEETNESS  AND  LIGHT,  by  Matthew  Arnold. 
1   8    WORK,  by  John  Ruskin. 

9    NATURE  AND  ART,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

10  THE    USE    AND    MISUSE    OF   BOOKS,   by   Frederic 

Harrison. 

11  THE  MONROE  DOCTRINE:   ITS  ORIGIN,  MEAN- 

ING   AND     APPLICATION,    by    Prof.    John    Bach 
McMaster  (University  of  Pennsylvania). 

12  THE  DESTINY  OF  MAN,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

13  LOVE  AND  FRIENDSHIP,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

14  RIP  VAN  WINKLE,  by  Washington  Irving. 

15  ART,  POETRY  AND  MUSIC,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

16  THE  CHOICE  OF  BOOKS,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

17  MANNERS,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

18  CHARACTER,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

19  THE    LEGEND    OF    SLEEPY    HOLLOW,  by  Wash- 

ington Irving. 

20  THE  BEAUTIES  OF  NATURE,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

21  SELF  RELIANCE,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

22  THE  DUTY  OF  HAPPINESS,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

23  SPIRITUAL  LAWS,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

24  OLD  CHRISTMAS,  by  Washington  Irving 

25  HEALTH.    WEALTH    AND    THE    BLESSING    OF 

FRIENDS,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

26  INTELLECT,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

27  WHY    AMERICANS   DISLIKE   ENGLAND,  by  Prof. 

Geo   B   Adams  (Yale). 

28  THE  HIGHER  EDUCATION  AS  A  TRAINING  FOR 

BUSINESS,  by  Prof.   Harry  Pratt  Judson  (University 
of  Chicago). 

29  MISS  TOOSEY'S  MISSION. 

30  LADDIE. 

31  J.  COLE,  by  Emma  Gellibrand. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


ALTEMUS'    NEW    ILLUSTRATED 
VADEMECUM    SERIES. 


Masterpieces  of  English  and  American  Literature,  Handy 

Volume  Size,  Large  Type  Editions.    Each  Volume 

Contains  Illuminated  Title  Pages,  and  Portrait 

of  Author  and  Numerous  Engravings 


Full  Cloth,  ivory  finish,  ornamental  inlaid  sides  and  back, 

boxed  ...  .................      40 

Full  White  Vellum,  full  silver  and  monotint,  boxed  ....      50 

1  CRANFORD,  by  Mrs.  Gaskell. 

2  A  WINDOW  IN  THRUMS,  by  J.  M.  Barrie. 


3  RAB   AND  HIS  FRIENDS,  MARJORIE  FLEM- 

ING, ETC.,  by  John  Brown,  M.  D. 

4  THE  VICAR  OF  WAKEFIELD,by  Oliver  Goldsmith. 

5  THE  IDLE  THOUGHTS  OF  AN  IDLE  FELLOW, 

by  Jerome  K.  Jerome.     "  A  book  for  an  idle  holiday." 

6  TALES  FROM  SHAKSPEARE,  by  Charles  and  Mary 

Lamb,  with  an  introduction  by  the  Rev.  Alfred  ASnger 
M.  D. 

7  SESAME  AND  LILIES,  by  John  Ruskin. 

Three  Lectures— I.  Of  the  King's  Treasures.     II.  Of 
Queen's  Garden.     III.  Of  the  Mystery  of  Life. 

8  THE  ETHICS  OF  THE  DUST, by  John  Ruskin.    Ten 

lectures  to  little  housewives  on  the  elements  of  crystali- 
zation. 

9  THE  PLEASURES  OF  LIFE,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

Complete  in  one  volume. 

10  THE  SCARLET  LETTER,  by  Nathaniel  Hawthorne. 

11  THE    HOUSE    OF    THE    SEVEN    GABLES,    by 

Nathaniel  Hawthorne. 

12  MOSSES  FROM  AN   OLD   MANSE,  by  Nathaniel 

Hawthorne. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  New  Illustrated  Vademecum  Series — 
continued. 


13    TWICE    TOLD    TALES,  by    Nathaniel    Hawthorne. 


14  THE    ESSAYS   OF    FRANCIS    (LORD)    BACON 

WITH  MEMOIRS  AND  NOTES. 

15  ESSAYS,  First  Series,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

16  ESSAYS,  Second  Series,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

17  REPRESENTATIVE  MEN,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

Mental  portraits  each  representing  a  class.  i.  The 
Philosopher.  2.  The  Mystic.  3.  TheSleptic.  4.  The 
Poet.  5.  The  Man  of  the  World.  6.  The  Writer. 

18  THOUGHTS  OF  THE  EMPEROR  MARCUS 

AURELIUS  ANTONINUS,  translated  by  George 
Long. 

19  THE  DISCOURSES  OF  EPICTETUS  WITH  THE 

ENCHIRIDION,  translated  by  George  Long. 


20  OF  THE   IMITATION   OF    CHRIST,    by   Thomas 

AvKempis.     Four  books  complete  in  one  volume. 

21  ADDRESSES,  by   Professor  Henry   Drummond      The 

Greatest  Thing  in  the  World;  Pax  Vobiscum  ;  The 
Changed  Life;  How  to  Learn  How;  Dealing  With 
Doubt ;  Preparation  for  Learning ;  What  is  a  Chris- 
tian ;  The  Study  of  the  Bible ;  A  Talk  on  Books. 

22  LETTERS,  SENTENCES  AND  MAXIMS,  by  Lord 

Chesterfield  Masterpieces  of  good  taste,  good  writing 
and  good  sense. 

23  REVERIES    OF    A    BACHELOR.      A  book  of  the 

heart.     By  Ik  Marvel. 

24  DREAM  LIFE,  by  Tk  Marvel.    A  companion  to  "  Reve- 

r-es  of  a  Bachelor." 

25  SARTOR  RESARTUS,  by  Thomas  Carlyle. 

26  HEROES  AND  HERO  WORSHIP,  by  Thomas  Car- 

ly.e. 

27  UNCLE   TOM'S   CABIN,  by  Harriet   Beecher  Stowe. 

28  ESSAYS  OF  ELIA,  by  Charles  Lamb. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  New  Illustrated  Vademecum  Series — 
continued. 


29  MY  POINT  OF  VIEW.     Representative  selections  from 

the  works  of  Professor  Henry  Drummond  by  William 
Shepard. 

30  THE  SKETCH  BOOK,  by  Washington  Irving.    Com- 

plete. 

31  KEPT    FOR    THE    MASTER'S    USE,   by    Frances 

Ridley  Havergal. 

32  LUCILE,  by  Owen  Meredith. 

33  LALLA  ROOKH,  by  Thomas  Moore. 

34  THE  LADY  OF  THE  LAKE,  by  Sir  Walter  Scott. 

35  MARMION,  by  Sir  Walter  Scott. 

36  THE   PRINCESS  ;    AND   MAUD,  by  Alfred  (Lord) 

Tennyson. 

37  CHILDE     HAROLD'S    PILGRIMAGE,    by    Lord 

Byron. 

38  IDYLLS  OF  THE  KING,  by  Alfred  (Lord)  Tennyson. 

39  EVANGELINE,  by  Henry  Wadsworth  Longfellow. 

40  VOICES  OF  THE  NIGHT  AND  OTHER  POEMS, 

by  Henry  Wadsworth  Longfellow. 

41  THE   QUEEN  OF  THE  AIR,  by  John  Ruskin.    A 

study  of  the  Greek  myths  of  cloud  and  storm. 

42  THE  BELFRY  OF  BRUGES  AND  OTHER 

POEMS,  by   Henry  Wadsworth  Longfellow. 

43  POEMS,  Volume  I,  by  John  Greenleaf  Whittier. 

44  POEMS,  Volume  II,  by  John  Greenleaf  Whittier. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  New  Illustrated  Vademecum  Series- 
continued. 


45  THE   RAVEN;  AND   OTHER   POEMS,  by  Edgar 

Allan  Poe. 

46  THANATOPSIS;AND  OTHER  POEMS,  by  William 

Cullen  Bryant. 

47  THE  LAST  LEAF;AND  OTHER  POEMS,  by  Oliver 

Wendell  Holmes. 

48  THE  HEROES  OR  GKEEK  FAIRY  TALES,  by 

Charles  Kingsley. 

49  A  WONDER  BOOK,  by  Nathaniel  Hawthorne. 


50  UNDINE,  by  de  La  Motte  Fouque. 

51  ADDRESSES,  by  the  Rt.  Rev.  Phillips  Brooks. 

5»    BALZAC'S    SHORTER    STORIES,   by  Honore    de 
Balzac. 

53  TWO  YEARS  BEFORE  THE  MAST,  by  Richard 

H.  Dana,  Jr. 

54  BENJAMIN  FRANKLIN.     An  Autobiography. 

55  THE  LAST   ESSAYS  OF  ELIA,  by  Charles  Lamb. 

56  TOM    BROWN'S     SCHOOL    DAYS,    by    Thomas 

Hughes. 

57  'WEIRD  TALES,  by  Edgar  Allan  Poe. 

58  THE  CROWN  OF  WILD  OLIVE,  by  John  Ruskin. 

Three  lectures  on  Work,  Traffic  and  War. 

59  NATURAL  LAW  IN  THE  SPIRITUAL  WORLD, 

by  Professor  Henry  Drummond. 

Go    ABBE    CONSTANTIN,   by    Ludovic    Halevy. 
61     MANON  LESCAUT,  by  Abbe  Prevost. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'   PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  New  Illustrated  Vademccum  Series- 
continued. 


62  THE  ROMANCE  OF  A  POOR  YOUNG  MAN,  by 

Octave  Feuillet. 

63  BLACK  BEAUTY,  by  Anna  Sewell 

64  CAMILLE,  by  Alexander  Dumas,  Jr. 

65  THE  LIGHT  OF  ASIA,  by  Sir  Edwin  Arnold. 

66  THE    LAYS    OF    ANCIENT    ROME,   by    Thomas 

Babington  Macaulay. 

67  THE  CONFESSIONS  OF  AN  ENGLISH  OPIUM- 

EATER,  by  Thomas  De  Quincey. 

68  TREASURE  ISLAND,  by  Robert  L.  Stevenson. 

69  CARMEN,  by  Prosper  Merimee. 

70  A  SENTIMENTAL  JOURNEY,  by  Laurence  Sterne. 

71  THE    BLITHEDALE    ROMANCE,    by    Nathaniel 

Hawthorne. 

72  BAB  BALL  ADS,  AND  SAVOY  SONGS,  by  W.  H. 

Gilbert. 

73  FANCHON,  THE  CRICKET,  by  George  Sand. 

74  POEMS,  by  James  Russell  Lowell. 

75  JOHN  PLOUGHMAN'S  TALK,  by  the  Rev.  Charles 

H.  Spurgeon. 

76  JOHN    PLOUGHMAN'S   PICTURES,  by  the   Rev. 

Lharles  Jrl.  Spurgeon. 

77  THE     MANLINESS     OF     CHRIST,    by    Thomas 

Hughes. 

78  ADDRESSES  TO  YOUNG  MEN,  by  the  Rev.  Henry 

Ward  Beecher. 

79  THE      AUTOCRAT      OF     THE      BREAKFAST 

TABLE,    by  Oliver  Wendell   Holmes. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS'  PUBLICATIONS. 


Altemus'  New  Illustrated  Vademecum  Series 
continued. 


80  MULVANEY  STORIES,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

81  BALLADS,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

82  MORNING  THOUGHTS,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

83  TEN  NIGHTS  IN  A  BAR  ROOM,  by  T.  S.  Arthur. 

84  EVENING  THOUGHTS,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

85  IN  MEMORIAM,  by  Alfred  (Lord)  Tennyson 

86  COMING  TO  CHRIST,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

87  HOUSE  OF  THE  WOLF,  by  Stanley  Weyman. 


AMERICAN  POLITICS  (non-Partisan),  by  Hon.  Thomas 
V.  Cooper.  A  history  of  all  the  Political  Parties  with  their 
views  and  records  on  all  important  questions.  All  political 
platforms  from  the  beginning  to  date.  Great  Speeches  on 
Great  issues.  Parliamentary  Practice  and  tabulated  history 
of  chronological  events.  A  library  without  this  work  is  de- 
ficient. 8 vo.,  750  pages.  Cloth,  $300.  Full  Sheep  Library 
style,  $4  oo. 

NAMES  FOR  CHILDREN,  by  Elisabeth  Robinson  Scovil, 
author  of  "The  Care  of  Children,"  "Preparation  for 
Motherhood."  In  family  life  there  is  no  question  of  greater 
weight  or  importance  than  naming  the  b?by.  The  author 
gives  much  good  advice  and  many  suggestions  on  the  sub- 
ject. Cloth,  izmo.,  $  .40. 

TRIF  AND  TRIXY,byJohn  Habberton,  author  of  "Helen's 
Babies."  The  story  is  replete  with  vivid  and  spirited 
scenes ;  and  is*  incomparably  the  happiest  and  most  de- 
lightful work  Mr.  Habberton  has  yet  written.  Cloth, 
i2mo.,  $  .35. 


